Hitch

In my opinion, Hitch is the closest a rom-com will EVER get, in portraying modern man-woman relationships in its most faithful state.

The reality in today’s fast-paced modern world where people judge time in minutes and seconds and are way too materialistic; is:

Most Men are CLUELESS when it comes to What Women Want!


The first 10 minutes of Hitch reveals the truth about how hopeless modern men are at identifying the answer and how to ACTUALLY go about approaching women. In today’s world of metrosexual men and high-powered females in the work force....most regular joes like you and me are LOST and increasingly feeling emasculated.

This movie starts out fine by laying things as they are and showing Will Smith’s character as the worldly Cupid who gives these helpless men a helping hand in figuring things out, for a fee of course. Imagine a hip Cyrano de Bergerac moonlighting from one man to the other as he helps them achieve romantic freedom and the apple of their hearts. (bollocks, I can’t believe I just typed up something THAT cheesy!).

However, as always, Hollywood sticks to the tired old rom-com formula and have Will Smith’s hip, cool and suave Alex ‘Hitch’ Hitchins fall head over heels in love with Eva Mendes’ character and start exhibiting standard rom-com klutziness.

*Sigh*, I guess since this IS a romantic COMEDY after all, they’d HAVE to make even Hitch a lovelorn fool as well.:-(

However, if you ignore the tired, faltering plots in the latter part of the movie, you’ll find some REAL GEMS in the movie that ALL MEN should learn from.

It’s funny how Hitch reminds me of my fellow male friends who are naturally successful with women. Like them, Hitch also talks about how to always keep your cool in front of the ladies (women are EXTRA perceptive when it comes to emotions), inhibit your inner wussiness (desperation is a sure sign of weakness to them), and always be cocky yet funny when handling women.

That last point especially (the cocky+funny concept) may fly against the whole idea of being a nice gentleman ALWAYS, but if women wanted to mother you instead of being your equal, they’d pick up a pet at the nearest pet shop. Being a nice guy helps later in the relationship, but buying her gifts and wining & dining her TOO early in the relationship would only serve to make you look like a desperate and insecure man that have to rely on extravagance in order to appease women. I’m digressing as usual and getting sidetracked....back to the review!

Besides the first 10 minutes which is informational, MEN should also focus on the bar scene whereupon Will Smith first meets Eva Mendes. That scene is a PERFECT education in how to tease woman verbally and be cocky YET funny when meeting women (especially attractive, high-powered females who are most likely earning equal or more than you).

Notice how the first guy approaches in the regular timid, wussy-nice guy way and how Hitch’s approach is decidedly different, more detached, yet worldly and suave. That scene was particularly smokin’ and dense with tension between the two leads as they indulged in verbal fencing. You could practically see them sizzle on the screen as Hitch leaves Eva Mendes’ character with a smart-ass comment and departs the bar; creating mystery, attraction and anticipation all upon the first contact.

Both guys were approaching her with a drink in hand for her, yet Hitch succeeds because of his different approach while the other guy fails due to his same ‘ol, same ‘ol wussy/loser approach.

MEN listen up and LEARN from this movie PLEASE !!!!

Of course, Hollywood prevailed and the rest of the movie followed the *lame* rom-com formula.

Kevin James as Hitch’s latest client (man-in-training) provided a few minor laughs and he handled his courtship well by adding his own flavour and panache; but verdammt(!) to make Hitch from a suave, worldly Lothario into such a babbling idiot was a CRAP resolution and TOTALLY against how they have been building him all through out the movie.

Sure (!) Kevin James used his own offbeat quirky way to charm and keep Amber Valetta interested in him. However, without Hitch’s initial teachings of how to create an impact and stand out enough from the crowd, Amber’s character wouldn’t even have noticed Kevin (as agreed by her character in the movie in a tense exchange with Hitch). Just because Kevin got his chick by doing something different (playing up the cute, insecure angle) doesn't mean Hitch has to follow suit !!!

I think the writer really dropped the ball when it came to resolving Hitch’s side of the story and he could have taken a leaf out of Nick Hornby or any Working Title Productions past output to come up with a better ending.

As it is...Hitch is an enjoyable, educational rom-com that ALL MEN should seriously have in their personal DVD collection if only to watch the first 2/3rd of the movie and LEARN from a ‘natural’ in action.

Leave out the last 1/3rd however because it is the typical Hollywood formula which EMASCULATES men and teaches us that what women want are wusses with no balls whose existence is not complete without that One woman of their dreams.

P.S. Yes, as you can see, previous rocky relationships with women have left me as a cynical boxer-burning, woman hating, barbarically uncouth heathen who hates high powered, successful & controlling-women (!)

I know what I am....do you know WHO you ARE ??

Bring on the HATE then ladies!


;-p