Film Review: King Kong
Kong is THE ULTIMATE MAN.
Yeah....you read that right the first time around. King Kong is the epitome of manhood. He signifies what every man deep down in his heart of hearts yearns to be one day:
Wild. Untamed. King of the Jungle.
No matter whatever anyone says to you, do not be fooled; for King Kong, the film by Peter Jackson is NOT an action-adventure movie but at its heart, a moving rom-com tale of unrequited love, and the modern hazards that stands in the way of two people (or in this context woman and beast) from ever being together; no matter how strong the feelings for each other are.
I kid you not. Stop laughing those people in the back row! ;-p
Despite being a three hours and a half extravaganza, Peter Jackson has managed to craft an intriguing rip-roarin ride from start to finish that gradually begins to get more frenetic in terms of action and pacing as the minutes tick by. I barely noticed the hours passing by due to the masterful way Jackson wove this tale of adventure, betrayal, love lost and conquered. It’s bound to make a grown man cry out in ecstasy (Kong vs. T-Rex rules!) and shed a tear at the same time (Kong vs. WW1 planes = unfair).
From the gritty streets of 1933 Depression Era New York, we get transported to the wild seas onboard the sea ship Venture; to the ancient untamed ruins of Skull Island with its Uruk-Hai-like savage natives; and later to the prehistoric jungle on the Island where wild ancient beasts and monstrous terrors roam the earth. (Brontosaurus CGI = sucks, Velociraptors and T-Rex CGI rendering = superb!)
Kudos must go to Andy Serkis (the guy that acted out Gollum’s facial expressions, chilly cat-like voice and body mannerisms in LotR) who again did a bang-up job on King Kong and made the character come to life. Despite not having any dialogue, you could feel Kong’s majestic presence literally jump off the screen and mystify you in its wake.
I kid you not. Stop laughing those people in the back row! ;-p
Despite being a three hours and a half extravaganza, Peter Jackson has managed to craft an intriguing rip-roarin ride from start to finish that gradually begins to get more frenetic in terms of action and pacing as the minutes tick by. I barely noticed the hours passing by due to the masterful way Jackson wove this tale of adventure, betrayal, love lost and conquered. It’s bound to make a grown man cry out in ecstasy (Kong vs. T-Rex rules!) and shed a tear at the same time (Kong vs. WW1 planes = unfair).
From the gritty streets of 1933 Depression Era New York, we get transported to the wild seas onboard the sea ship Venture; to the ancient untamed ruins of Skull Island with its Uruk-Hai-like savage natives; and later to the prehistoric jungle on the Island where wild ancient beasts and monstrous terrors roam the earth. (Brontosaurus CGI = sucks, Velociraptors and T-Rex CGI rendering = superb!)
Kudos must go to Andy Serkis (the guy that acted out Gollum’s facial expressions, chilly cat-like voice and body mannerisms in LotR) who again did a bang-up job on King Kong and made the character come to life. Despite not having any dialogue, you could feel Kong’s majestic presence literally jump off the screen and mystify you in its wake.
King Kong's Mating Tip#0
Practice Makes Perfect
Like eating a banana, no one gets it correctly on the first try.
Dare to fail and always remember to get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.
Practice Makes Perfect
Like eating a banana, no one gets it correctly on the first try.
Dare to fail and always remember to get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.
When my mate told me that Kong wouldn’t show up until the first hour into the movie, I was mad with anger. WTF?? I paid good money to be cheated by some hyped up, year-end-extravaganza, and all the media hoopla again?? Hollywood sucks!!!
But my Hollywood-unbelieving soul was appeased this time around thanks to the magic of Peter Jackson and his Weta Workshop team of Christmas elves (I tell you, besides spending the past 2 yrs working on Narnia, they still had enough manpower to render the superb CGI on Kong….now that’s a hardworking team indeed! I guess that explains why Aslan and most of the Narnia CGI looks SO crap in comparison).
This is a master storyteller at work here, rendering the shots of grime-infested Depression-era New York so convincingly beautifully that it takes your breath away. I never thought I’d say that about grime-infested cities before; P.J. managed to capture the hustle and bustle of those early NY days where industry was just starting up and people infested every corner of the city. Life was hard indeed due to the economy being in the doldrums but people did what they could to survive. He made that era come to life and made you think what it was like to live in those hard times when you didn’t know when your next paycheck was going to be and the only meal for that day depends on the availability of food at the nearest shelter.
From NY, we jump to life on the high seas aboard the sea ship Venture. Our cast of characters grows from the manic-energy driven Jack Black, his trusty long-suffering assistant Colin Hanks; the waif-like beauty Naomi Watts, and the sleepy, dopey-looking Adrien Brody; to include Jimmy, the castaway junior shipmate who’s out to make a name for himself in the name of adventure, Captain Englehorn the slimy captain of the Venture, and Hayes, his black second in command.
All is not well indeed on the sea ship Venture as the slimy Captain Englehorn played convincingly by Thomas Kretschmann, seems to indicate a more sinister agenda is afoot behind the scenes. Evan Parke as Hayes, the black second in command however is all heart and the straight guy who’s out to take care of the people under him; especially Jimmy, the young ship mate played by Jamie Bell (that prancin’ ballet lovin teen of Billy Elliot fame). Also memorable is Kyle Chandler, as Bruce Baxter, the leading man for Jack Black’s movie, which reminds you of the Hollywood heroes of pulp fiction and black and white movies of yore. Yes, he comes with that trademark spit curl, big manly jaw, and brooding mysterious eyes, ladies (which must have been suavely smooth in those olden days, but just dated and cheesy these days…give me Brad Pitt any day of the week please!) ;-)
As the cast grows in size, so does the depth of the story and the frenetic pace. After the slow burn of setting things up in New York and revealing each character’s motivation for embarking upon the trip; the ball starts rolling and the pace quickens from the moment they gets beached on the jagged rocks of Skull Island.
The landing party of filmmakers, actors and actresses that embarks upon the shores of Skull Island gets attacked by the savage men of the island and long story short; the beautiful Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) gets served up to King Kong as a sacrificial gift.
But my Hollywood-unbelieving soul was appeased this time around thanks to the magic of Peter Jackson and his Weta Workshop team of Christmas elves (I tell you, besides spending the past 2 yrs working on Narnia, they still had enough manpower to render the superb CGI on Kong….now that’s a hardworking team indeed! I guess that explains why Aslan and most of the Narnia CGI looks SO crap in comparison).
This is a master storyteller at work here, rendering the shots of grime-infested Depression-era New York so convincingly beautifully that it takes your breath away. I never thought I’d say that about grime-infested cities before; P.J. managed to capture the hustle and bustle of those early NY days where industry was just starting up and people infested every corner of the city. Life was hard indeed due to the economy being in the doldrums but people did what they could to survive. He made that era come to life and made you think what it was like to live in those hard times when you didn’t know when your next paycheck was going to be and the only meal for that day depends on the availability of food at the nearest shelter.
From NY, we jump to life on the high seas aboard the sea ship Venture. Our cast of characters grows from the manic-energy driven Jack Black, his trusty long-suffering assistant Colin Hanks; the waif-like beauty Naomi Watts, and the sleepy, dopey-looking Adrien Brody; to include Jimmy, the castaway junior shipmate who’s out to make a name for himself in the name of adventure, Captain Englehorn the slimy captain of the Venture, and Hayes, his black second in command.
All is not well indeed on the sea ship Venture as the slimy Captain Englehorn played convincingly by Thomas Kretschmann, seems to indicate a more sinister agenda is afoot behind the scenes. Evan Parke as Hayes, the black second in command however is all heart and the straight guy who’s out to take care of the people under him; especially Jimmy, the young ship mate played by Jamie Bell (that prancin’ ballet lovin teen of Billy Elliot fame). Also memorable is Kyle Chandler, as Bruce Baxter, the leading man for Jack Black’s movie, which reminds you of the Hollywood heroes of pulp fiction and black and white movies of yore. Yes, he comes with that trademark spit curl, big manly jaw, and brooding mysterious eyes, ladies (which must have been suavely smooth in those olden days, but just dated and cheesy these days…give me Brad Pitt any day of the week please!) ;-)
As the cast grows in size, so does the depth of the story and the frenetic pace. After the slow burn of setting things up in New York and revealing each character’s motivation for embarking upon the trip; the ball starts rolling and the pace quickens from the moment they gets beached on the jagged rocks of Skull Island.
The landing party of filmmakers, actors and actresses that embarks upon the shores of Skull Island gets attacked by the savage men of the island and long story short; the beautiful Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) gets served up to King Kong as a sacrificial gift.
King Kong’s Mating Tip #1
Attraction isn’t a Choice
You don’t choose whom you feel wild animal attraction for. It just happens within moments of meeting each other. It’s that X-factor; that unexplainable attraction women like to call chemistry.
It doesn’t help either if you’re captured or bound up as a sacrifice by the savage men of Skull Island as a gift to your significant other!
Tis’ the season for loving and giving indeed,eh? ;-p
Attraction isn’t a Choice
You don’t choose whom you feel wild animal attraction for. It just happens within moments of meeting each other. It’s that X-factor; that unexplainable attraction women like to call chemistry.
It doesn’t help either if you’re captured or bound up as a sacrifice by the savage men of Skull Island as a gift to your significant other!
Tis’ the season for loving and giving indeed,eh? ;-p
Captain Englehorn, followed by a search party of shipmates including Hayes and Jimmy return to the island with Adrien Brody, Jack Black and Kyle Chandler in tow to go rescue Ann Darrow within 24 hours.
Cue rampaging herds of brontosaurus’ (brontosaurii??), hunting packs of velociraptors, some opportunistic wetasaurus (get the homage to Weta there?), and three hungry T-Rex versus King Kong; and you have a spectacularly wild rip-roarin ride from the moment the search party stepped off the extended bridge built by the savage natives onto the wilderness of Skull Island.
Cue rampaging herds of brontosaurus’ (brontosaurii??), hunting packs of velociraptors, some opportunistic wetasaurus (get the homage to Weta there?), and three hungry T-Rex versus King Kong; and you have a spectacularly wild rip-roarin ride from the moment the search party stepped off the extended bridge built by the savage natives onto the wilderness of Skull Island.
King Kong’s Mating Tip#2
Be a typical MAN
Ignore your loved one when she offers you affection
For Tension & Anticipation prolongs Attraction
Despite not having a word of dialogue thru out the movie; Andy Serkis, Peter Jackson and his Weta team managed to convey Kong’s manliness SO convincingly that I choked back a little tear in the presence of such a huge manhood. ;-p
Case in point: Kong just killed three rampaging T-Rexes with his bare hands, all in the name of love and saving the damsel in distress from danger.
What does he do when Ann Darrow shows her gratitude when she realizes it’s safer to stick with Kong her protector than try to run around Skull Island barefoot?
Kong just turns his back on her, sniffs in arrogance and gives her the cold shoulder. What a MAN’s MAN! ;-p
And when she concedes defeat and admits yeah..the man’s right after all (I told you so!), Kong simply grabs her and puts her on his shoulder as he whisks her away to relative safety and security. (You’re my beyatch now! Kong go bring u to pretty waterfall by sunset).
Be a typical MAN
Ignore your loved one when she offers you affection
For Tension & Anticipation prolongs Attraction
Despite not having a word of dialogue thru out the movie; Andy Serkis, Peter Jackson and his Weta team managed to convey Kong’s manliness SO convincingly that I choked back a little tear in the presence of such a huge manhood. ;-p
Case in point: Kong just killed three rampaging T-Rexes with his bare hands, all in the name of love and saving the damsel in distress from danger.
What does he do when Ann Darrow shows her gratitude when she realizes it’s safer to stick with Kong her protector than try to run around Skull Island barefoot?
Kong just turns his back on her, sniffs in arrogance and gives her the cold shoulder. What a MAN’s MAN! ;-p
And when she concedes defeat and admits yeah..the man’s right after all (I told you so!), Kong simply grabs her and puts her on his shoulder as he whisks her away to relative safety and security. (You’re my beyatch now! Kong go bring u to pretty waterfall by sunset).
The interplay between Ann Darrow and Kong is a pretty tricky thing to pull off indeed. Here’s an intelligent New York gal who’s desperate for food and money; yet how can you convincingly make her fall in love with such a primal, wild, beast like Kong? A huge kudos has to be heaped upon Naomi Watts for playing the character so convincingly and bringing her to life. All I could remember of the old incarnation of Ann Darrows from the black and white movie and the 70s remake was they screamed out loud in fear. A lot.
Naomi Watts however (who reminded me of Nicole Kidman a lot in a few of her close up shots in NY) added a layer of playfulness to her character. The ‘Broadway stand-up-comic’ show she put up for Kong in order to “get” to him was a genius turn indeed. When you can’t actually communicate to your beau using words…what better way to do so than using body language and facial expressions, non?
Naomi Watts however (who reminded me of Nicole Kidman a lot in a few of her close up shots in NY) added a layer of playfulness to her character. The ‘Broadway stand-up-comic’ show she put up for Kong in order to “get” to him was a genius turn indeed. When you can’t actually communicate to your beau using words…what better way to do so than using body language and facial expressions, non?
King Kong’s Mating Tip#3
Action Speaks Louder than Words
After battling T-rexes all day in the name of love; what better way to tell the woman of your dreams how you feel about her than by a cascading waterfall with the view of a beautiful sunset in the background?
All I need to do now is go find three T-rexes to wrestle to the ground and prove my worthiness the next time I go out for a date. ;-p
Action Speaks Louder than Words
After battling T-rexes all day in the name of love; what better way to tell the woman of your dreams how you feel about her than by a cascading waterfall with the view of a beautiful sunset in the background?
All I need to do now is go find three T-rexes to wrestle to the ground and prove my worthiness the next time I go out for a date. ;-p
That scene by the waterfall by sunset between Ann Darrow and Kong was “beautiful”. It reminded me of the times when I used to watch Disney movies as a kid and would act all manly and sh1t, by choking back my tears during those oh-so weepy finales that Disney manages to make into a proven formula for all their movies.
Of course, the real world HAD to invade upon the lovebirds’ idyllic retreat as Adrien Brody’s Jack Driscoll character manages to overcome the wild perils of Skull Island and reach Ann Darrow to cart her away to safety.
Cue frenetic chase scenes through wild undergrowth and dusky caverns, with Kong in tow, and Engelhorn’s dastardly crew in wait to capture majestic Kong, the King of the Jungle and 8th Wonder of the World (as Jack Black’s hammy character puts it).
The capture scene was SO heart wrenching that my heart gave a small flutter as the inevitability of it all came crashing upon my consciousness and the screen faded to black.
In my humble opinion, the movie should have ended there and then. Poignantly poetic and sad like most Shakespearean tragedies.
In true Hollywood fashion however, there MUST ALWAYS BE a third act. And it was tacked upon like the cheap two-dollar whore it was. (Imagine the last 30 minutes of Pearl Harbor when they went on a last vengeance mission, which was pointless and felt unneeded for the story’s purposes).
So we fast forward to a few months later. Kong is now a sideshow act for Jack Black’s nefarious ends in good ol Noo-Yak. Adrien Brody’s Jack Driscoll is working off-Broadway. Naomi Watt’s Ann Darrow is now just another showgirl. And everyone’s unhappy.
It takes Kong going on rampage for each character to realize their true purpose.
Jack Black’s Carl Denham finally realizes all the fame and money in the world can’t make up for the lives of friends he’s lost on that fateful trip to Skull Island.
Naomi Watt’s Ann Darrow realizes she’s actually in love with Kong and she’s the only one that can stop his rampage.
Adrien Brody’s Jack Driscoll realizes that he’s actually in love with Ann Darrow and it’s time he does something about it. (Too late dude…Kong’s in town!)
And Andy Serkis’ King Kong realizes that he’s too proud and majestic a beast to be shackled and doped up by a money making capitalist as a freaky sideshow act. He’s mad, bad, and in need of some lovin’ y’all!
Of course, the real world HAD to invade upon the lovebirds’ idyllic retreat as Adrien Brody’s Jack Driscoll character manages to overcome the wild perils of Skull Island and reach Ann Darrow to cart her away to safety.
Cue frenetic chase scenes through wild undergrowth and dusky caverns, with Kong in tow, and Engelhorn’s dastardly crew in wait to capture majestic Kong, the King of the Jungle and 8th Wonder of the World (as Jack Black’s hammy character puts it).
The capture scene was SO heart wrenching that my heart gave a small flutter as the inevitability of it all came crashing upon my consciousness and the screen faded to black.
In my humble opinion, the movie should have ended there and then. Poignantly poetic and sad like most Shakespearean tragedies.
In true Hollywood fashion however, there MUST ALWAYS BE a third act. And it was tacked upon like the cheap two-dollar whore it was. (Imagine the last 30 minutes of Pearl Harbor when they went on a last vengeance mission, which was pointless and felt unneeded for the story’s purposes).
So we fast forward to a few months later. Kong is now a sideshow act for Jack Black’s nefarious ends in good ol Noo-Yak. Adrien Brody’s Jack Driscoll is working off-Broadway. Naomi Watt’s Ann Darrow is now just another showgirl. And everyone’s unhappy.
It takes Kong going on rampage for each character to realize their true purpose.
Jack Black’s Carl Denham finally realizes all the fame and money in the world can’t make up for the lives of friends he’s lost on that fateful trip to Skull Island.
Naomi Watt’s Ann Darrow realizes she’s actually in love with Kong and she’s the only one that can stop his rampage.
Adrien Brody’s Jack Driscoll realizes that he’s actually in love with Ann Darrow and it’s time he does something about it. (Too late dude…Kong’s in town!)
And Andy Serkis’ King Kong realizes that he’s too proud and majestic a beast to be shackled and doped up by a money making capitalist as a freaky sideshow act. He’s mad, bad, and in need of some lovin’ y’all!
King Kong's Mating Tip#4
Emotion creates "Motion"
When all else fails, throw a big-bad sulk
I know, I know, it’s kinda childish advice; but sometimes when your woman’s mishebavin, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and lay down some rules y’knowhatumsayin?
I’m not saying you should go primal beatdown on your woman or anything (god forbid!) but playing the emotional card sometimes, just needs to be done.
Emotion creates "Motion"
When all else fails, throw a big-bad sulk
I know, I know, it’s kinda childish advice; but sometimes when your woman’s mishebavin, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and lay down some rules y’knowhatumsayin?
I’m not saying you should go primal beatdown on your woman or anything (god forbid!) but playing the emotional card sometimes, just needs to be done.
Cue multiple mayhem scenes in downtown New York (why is it when any destruction occurs in NY it HAS to occur in Times Square??) until that fateful iconic image of Kong on top of the Empire-State-like building, being shot at by a bevy of WW1 fighter jet planes.
That last scene on top of the building reminded me somewhat of Jack & Rose’s scene near the end of Titanic when he was asking her to hold on for dear life and not let his sacrifice go to waste. Only this time it wasn’t scrawny, floppy haired, Leonardo Dicaprio doin the weepy sacrificing but the manly man: Kong.
That last scene on top of the building reminded me somewhat of Jack & Rose’s scene near the end of Titanic when he was asking her to hold on for dear life and not let his sacrifice go to waste. Only this time it wasn’t scrawny, floppy haired, Leonardo Dicaprio doin the weepy sacrificing but the manly man: Kong.
King Kong's Mating Tip#5
If she’s REALLY the One, then by all means go ALL-IN, my son!
Kong gambled EVERYTHING at that one chance of meeting Ann Darrow again (granted wreaking havoc in the middle of NY is a tad too barbaric for the modern man’s liking but I digress).
He made the ultimate sacrifice by giving his life in return for that short meeting, but I reckon in the last moments, with his dying breath, Kong died happy knowing he gambled everything for that one moment and it paid off.
Of course I’m not advocating you go out and do the same of course, but sometimes if she’s REALLY worth it, then by all means do everything you can to get her, mate
If she’s REALLY the One, then by all means go ALL-IN, my son!
Kong gambled EVERYTHING at that one chance of meeting Ann Darrow again (granted wreaking havoc in the middle of NY is a tad too barbaric for the modern man’s liking but I digress).
He made the ultimate sacrifice by giving his life in return for that short meeting, but I reckon in the last moments, with his dying breath, Kong died happy knowing he gambled everything for that one moment and it paid off.
Of course I’m not advocating you go out and do the same of course, but sometimes if she’s REALLY worth it, then by all means do everything you can to get her, mate
In the end, Jack Black’s parting words was apt in summing up the whole sad end to the affair:
Twas’ Beauty that killed the Beast. It was fated from the moment they met.
So in summary, to all you men folk out there: Go and watch King Kong and experience what it’s like to be a REAL man. And bring your woman along for her to wonder what the savage, primal, force inside you would be like once unleashed!
To those men still unattached by a dastardly woman in their life, go and watch it anyway and revel in the glory of being a man’s man. Hopefully the movie would give you enough cojones’ to grab that woman you’ve been eyeing for a long time but just been lacking the balls to approach. (The writer is not responsible for any emotional, physical, nor legal mishaps that may come from you fulfilling your inner manhood). ;-p
In closing, Yes(!), this exuberant review of the manly man movie King Kong was INDEED written, “under-the-influence”. Hence my propensity to ramble on about everything and anything, and a tendency to see something behind the movie’s message which actually isn’t there!
To those men still unattached by a dastardly woman in their life, go and watch it anyway and revel in the glory of being a man’s man. Hopefully the movie would give you enough cojones’ to grab that woman you’ve been eyeing for a long time but just been lacking the balls to approach. (The writer is not responsible for any emotional, physical, nor legal mishaps that may come from you fulfilling your inner manhood). ;-p
In closing, Yes(!), this exuberant review of the manly man movie King Kong was INDEED written, “under-the-influence”. Hence my propensity to ramble on about everything and anything, and a tendency to see something behind the movie’s message which actually isn’t there!
;-)
posted by NiK! at
7:02 PM
