The Mathematics of Love
OMG, I received this in my e-mail inbox today and thought it was SO fcukin (retardedly) hilarious that I'm posting it onto this blog for your reading pleasure:
;-p
-------
;-p
-------
After countless years of studies done on the mating habits of the common man, scientists at The Institute of Inter-human Relations in La Jolla, San Diego, Calif. can now confirm the precise mathematic formulas and equations that can lead to a fulfilling long lasting relationship. This research paper aims to unravel the intricacy of man-woman relationships once and for all and put the matter to bed. The two professors who have spent the last 10 years of their life researching this topic are however unmarried and currently happily enjoying bachelordom.
They divide the mathematic theorem into equations or formulas, which consists of two parts:
They divide the mathematic theorem into equations or formulas, which consists of two parts:
The Singles Equation and the Duo Equation.
The Singles Equation (S.E.) represents what an individual can bring to the relationship in terms of their characteristics, mannerism and actions.
The Duo Equation (D.E.) on the other hand represents how both individuals react with each other, which determines the outcome of the relationship in the future.
The Duo Equation (D.E.) on the other hand represents how both individuals react with each other, which determines the outcome of the relationship in the future.
Outcome 1: A Solid Relationship
S.E. : Confidence + Independence = Maturity & Trust
D.E. : Tension + Anticipation = Attraction
Outcome: Maturity & Trust + Attraction = A Solid Relationship
S.E. : Confidence + Independence = Maturity & Trust
D.E. : Tension + Anticipation = Attraction
Outcome: Maturity & Trust + Attraction = A Solid Relationship
The Singles Equation
A solid relationship stems from two individuals who are matured enough emotionally and are mentally ready to experience the challenges of keeping a relationship alive. If an individual has enough inner confidence and am emotionally independent, he/she thus achieves the state of being able to function even without a significant other in their lives.
This state of being (confident & independent of needing a significant other in their life) is counterintuitive to someone actually actively looking for a mate; yet it sends all the right signals to people of the opposite sex. In effect, by not actually looking, the individuals are deemed more attractive in the eyes of the opposite sex.
This explains the old folks saying of playing hard to get; and to a certain extent why women seem to find married men more attractive. It has been scientifically proven over the years that humans are drawn to something they cannot have.
Confidence and independence are also the two traits that give an individual a certain level of maturity to trust their significant other, even when they are not around. The absence of self-doubt and jealousy is integral in keeping a relationship alive and will be covered in further detail in defining Outcome 2.
The Duo Equation
Maturity and Trust however does not ensure a solid relationship if there is no, for the lack of a better term, “spark” between the two individuals. This is where the Duo Equation comes into the picture.
The X-factor in solid relationships that have for so long eluded baffled researchers can now be revealed.
When two individuals come together, it is important to the health of their relationship that Attraction occurs. Attraction however can stem from various traits such as shared interests, shared ideologies, lust, money, fame and power. The two traits that ensure continued attraction however are tension and anticipation.
Imagine the two individuals in a relationship as participants of a tug-of-war with each person at one end of the rope. To continue to keep attraction to each other ongoing, the individuals have to continue keeping tension and anticipation going in the relationship. Tension and anticipation creates a mysterious situation where the mystique is upheld and every new revelation means something deeper to the other individual.
How is this achieved?
This goes back to the Singles equation where the individual is confident and independent enough to exist on their own; that despite being a couple, they do not impede on each other’s personal space more than allowed by the other individual. At this juncture, this is such an abstract idea to comprehend, however the anti-thesis of Attraction as revealed Outcome 2 should give you a better idea of what tension and anticipation is all about.
Using the tug-of-war example; a constant give and take from both sides ensures the rope is constantly tense and not on the floor. Once the rope becomes slack (due to one side giving too much) that is the point of the relationship where the attraction is lost. Therefore, it is not an easy task indeed to have a healthy relationship. It requires both individuals to be constantly active in giving and taking and not too much of either way to ensure the rope does not snap nor go slack.
It is this eternal dance of giving and taking (pulling the rope to and fro) which keeps the attraction going and the relationship interesting.
Outcome
In summary, when you have Maturity and Trust from both individuals and that fleeting unexplainable X-factor called Attraction; the logical outcome is a solid relationship strong enough to weather the storms and challenges in the future.
A solid relationship stems from two individuals who are matured enough emotionally and are mentally ready to experience the challenges of keeping a relationship alive. If an individual has enough inner confidence and am emotionally independent, he/she thus achieves the state of being able to function even without a significant other in their lives.
This state of being (confident & independent of needing a significant other in their life) is counterintuitive to someone actually actively looking for a mate; yet it sends all the right signals to people of the opposite sex. In effect, by not actually looking, the individuals are deemed more attractive in the eyes of the opposite sex.
This explains the old folks saying of playing hard to get; and to a certain extent why women seem to find married men more attractive. It has been scientifically proven over the years that humans are drawn to something they cannot have.
Confidence and independence are also the two traits that give an individual a certain level of maturity to trust their significant other, even when they are not around. The absence of self-doubt and jealousy is integral in keeping a relationship alive and will be covered in further detail in defining Outcome 2.
The Duo Equation
Maturity and Trust however does not ensure a solid relationship if there is no, for the lack of a better term, “spark” between the two individuals. This is where the Duo Equation comes into the picture.
The X-factor in solid relationships that have for so long eluded baffled researchers can now be revealed.
When two individuals come together, it is important to the health of their relationship that Attraction occurs. Attraction however can stem from various traits such as shared interests, shared ideologies, lust, money, fame and power. The two traits that ensure continued attraction however are tension and anticipation.
Imagine the two individuals in a relationship as participants of a tug-of-war with each person at one end of the rope. To continue to keep attraction to each other ongoing, the individuals have to continue keeping tension and anticipation going in the relationship. Tension and anticipation creates a mysterious situation where the mystique is upheld and every new revelation means something deeper to the other individual.
How is this achieved?
This goes back to the Singles equation where the individual is confident and independent enough to exist on their own; that despite being a couple, they do not impede on each other’s personal space more than allowed by the other individual. At this juncture, this is such an abstract idea to comprehend, however the anti-thesis of Attraction as revealed Outcome 2 should give you a better idea of what tension and anticipation is all about.
Using the tug-of-war example; a constant give and take from both sides ensures the rope is constantly tense and not on the floor. Once the rope becomes slack (due to one side giving too much) that is the point of the relationship where the attraction is lost. Therefore, it is not an easy task indeed to have a healthy relationship. It requires both individuals to be constantly active in giving and taking and not too much of either way to ensure the rope does not snap nor go slack.
It is this eternal dance of giving and taking (pulling the rope to and fro) which keeps the attraction going and the relationship interesting.
Outcome
In summary, when you have Maturity and Trust from both individuals and that fleeting unexplainable X-factor called Attraction; the logical outcome is a solid relationship strong enough to weather the storms and challenges in the future.
Outcome 2: A Recipe For Disaster
S.E.: Insecurity + Attention-Seeking = Wussiness & Drama
D.E.: Unchallenging Obedience + Over-Accommodating = Boredom
Outcome: Wussiness & Drama + Boredom = A Recipe For Disaster
S.E.: Insecurity + Attention-Seeking = Wussiness & Drama
D.E.: Unchallenging Obedience + Over-Accommodating = Boredom
Outcome: Wussiness & Drama + Boredom = A Recipe For Disaster
The Singles Equation
In a relationship where it looks like a train wreck waiting to happen, it stems from the S.E. and D.E. that are fundamentally flawed.
An individual possessing the traits in the following S.E. are not mentally and emotionally prepared for a secure adult relationship and either fall into it through curiosity, force of habit, societal pressure, or other irrelevant reasons.
Insecurity is the opposite state of being confident. An insecure individual needs constant validation from the people around them in the form of emotional, mental, monetary, or any other type of support in order to feel good about themselves. This leads to our second trait: attention-seeking. In effect, attention seeking is the after-effect of being insecure about the individual’s own strengths and weaknesses.
Both Insecurity and Attention seeking culminates together to form Wussiness and Drama.
A short aside: Wussiness is a local American slang for “being emotionally weak.” Despite not having scientific connotations in any form, we deem it short and apt enough in implying our ideas. Thus the street slang is used in this academic discussion.
The opposite state of Maturity and Trust; Wussiness and Drama results in an individual who clings onto the other individual in the relationship thus actually lessening any initial attraction they initially had. This creates a vicious cycle where the insecure individual would create more drama and be more wussy with the mistaken idea that by doing so; their significant other would care for them more.
The Duo Equation
Even though one individual has a positive S.E. as explained in Outcome 1 of Confidence & Independence thus creating Maturity & Trust; all it needs to create a relationship fraught with disaster, is a negative S.E. from the significant other (as explained above).
The individual with the flawed S.E. as explained above, will create within the D.E. the two traits of Unchallenging Obedience and Over Accommodating. In their flawed minds (which is emotionally and mentally insecure) they think that by agreeing to every demand or wants from their significant other; it will create a tighter bond between them. In reality, being unchallengingly obedient and over accommodating only results in boredom and a reduction of any initial attraction previously created.
To give you a better visual idea, go back to the tug-of-war example given earlier.
When one side has unchallenging obedience and being over accommodating; this means one end of the rope is giving in too much; way more than the other end is taking. This results in the rope going slack (and hitting the floor) thus losing tension and killing any attraction whatsoever.
At the end of the day, it is regular human nature to walk away from something that is too easily attainable.
Outcome
The Wussiness & Drama creates a pervading clinginess in the individual, which gradually pushes away their significant other. Add the element of Boredom and the eventual outcome is a train wreck of a relationship bound for disaster; rife with jealousy, lust-filled affairs, backstabbing or two-timing, and finally heartbreak.
Summary
In closing, we are overjoyed that our research paper have unraveled the intricacies of human relationships using the power of mathematics and science. We sincerely believe our formula would be beneficial towards the future of human existence and am awaiting our nomination for the Noble Peace prize any day now.
In a relationship where it looks like a train wreck waiting to happen, it stems from the S.E. and D.E. that are fundamentally flawed.
An individual possessing the traits in the following S.E. are not mentally and emotionally prepared for a secure adult relationship and either fall into it through curiosity, force of habit, societal pressure, or other irrelevant reasons.
Insecurity is the opposite state of being confident. An insecure individual needs constant validation from the people around them in the form of emotional, mental, monetary, or any other type of support in order to feel good about themselves. This leads to our second trait: attention-seeking. In effect, attention seeking is the after-effect of being insecure about the individual’s own strengths and weaknesses.
Both Insecurity and Attention seeking culminates together to form Wussiness and Drama.
A short aside: Wussiness is a local American slang for “being emotionally weak.” Despite not having scientific connotations in any form, we deem it short and apt enough in implying our ideas. Thus the street slang is used in this academic discussion.
The opposite state of Maturity and Trust; Wussiness and Drama results in an individual who clings onto the other individual in the relationship thus actually lessening any initial attraction they initially had. This creates a vicious cycle where the insecure individual would create more drama and be more wussy with the mistaken idea that by doing so; their significant other would care for them more.
The Duo Equation
Even though one individual has a positive S.E. as explained in Outcome 1 of Confidence & Independence thus creating Maturity & Trust; all it needs to create a relationship fraught with disaster, is a negative S.E. from the significant other (as explained above).
The individual with the flawed S.E. as explained above, will create within the D.E. the two traits of Unchallenging Obedience and Over Accommodating. In their flawed minds (which is emotionally and mentally insecure) they think that by agreeing to every demand or wants from their significant other; it will create a tighter bond between them. In reality, being unchallengingly obedient and over accommodating only results in boredom and a reduction of any initial attraction previously created.
To give you a better visual idea, go back to the tug-of-war example given earlier.
When one side has unchallenging obedience and being over accommodating; this means one end of the rope is giving in too much; way more than the other end is taking. This results in the rope going slack (and hitting the floor) thus losing tension and killing any attraction whatsoever.
At the end of the day, it is regular human nature to walk away from something that is too easily attainable.
Outcome
The Wussiness & Drama creates a pervading clinginess in the individual, which gradually pushes away their significant other. Add the element of Boredom and the eventual outcome is a train wreck of a relationship bound for disaster; rife with jealousy, lust-filled affairs, backstabbing or two-timing, and finally heartbreak.
Summary
In closing, we are overjoyed that our research paper have unraveled the intricacies of human relationships using the power of mathematics and science. We sincerely believe our formula would be beneficial towards the future of human existence and am awaiting our nomination for the Noble Peace prize any day now.
posted by NiK! at
7:49 PM
