The Value of Work

It's funny and ironic actually.

Today marks 11 months and 22 days, since I started my working life at this corporate investment bank.

Yet ONLY after 11 months and 22 days, have I TRULY ever FELT what it REALLY feels like to have ONE FULL WORKING DAY......

For the past 11 months+, I've had the same modus operandi of coming to work late (around 9:45-10 AM), surf the Net until lunchtime, have a beauty nap in front of the PC in the evening (I've learnt the ancient Buddhist monk art of sleeping in front of the PC sitting upright as though in deep thought), then leaving by 6pm to go to the gym.

Today, for the first time,I was using my brain every second of the day from rushing powerpoint slides for presentations in the afternoon, doing last minute research to touch up our arguments, actually going out on a meeting to meet clients (us trainees are usually chained to the desk until we die ;-p) to coming back from that and getting involved in a long distance conference call with a client.

Verdammt!

I was breaking out in cold sweat every second! The adrenaline was pumping and my fingers were numb from anticipation/elation/anxiety (rushing for deadlines maaa).

Ironically also...I seem to enjoy that rush.

That feeling of so many things happening at the same time that you just need to take a moment to sit down and digest it all, but there is NO time to do that 'cos if you stop, you'll miss the deadline!

Heh heh

It shows that I'm a lazy bastard that likes to put things off to the last moment innit ? ;-p

Neways, I had an epiphany today.

I may not LIKE the work I'm doing (who loves paperwork in the first place?), but if it's as challenging and at a pace as it is today, I can LIVE with it.

It's days like this that make me wanna stay up all night and paint the town red during the weekends! ;-)

*Sidenote*

Have you seen "8 Mile" the Eminem/Marshall Mathers autobiopic ?

Remember the line where he says " You gotta start living down here, instead of living up there" ?

That's what I've been doing for the past 11 months+.

I've been having unrealistic dreams about what I want my worklife to be like and at the end of the day, I gotta accept that you don't always get what you want in life.

The current environ in Malaysia isn't receptive to what I want to do in life (be a plus size porn star ;-p) so I gotta be realistic and lead my life as a mild mannered corporate investment banker instead.

*Sigh*

The HARD choices we have to make in our life somedays, eh ? ;-)