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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

How To Act When A Woman Likes You

by David Deangelo


One of the most important things to understand as a MAN is what to do when things are WORKING... so you don't SCREW IT UP!

Now, when a woman does something that signals "I like you", it is VITALLY important that you:

1) Know how to recognize it

2) DON'T do what MOST guy do

3) DO the right thing, and AMPLIFY it

So how can you tell if a woman is doing something that says "I like you"?

Well, it's VERY important to remember that women are far more "subtle" than men (most of the time, that is). If a man is interested in a woman, you can see it all over his face. It's usually very obvious. But women are different. Women do SMALL things. A little touch. A sly smile. Sometimes a comment like "You're so cute".

But then IT'S GONE. Women always seem to act like they're not quite sure. They don't send consistent signals that most men can "read". And when they DO send signals that are easy to see, most guys respond in a way that makes those signals stop...which makes things even MORE confusing.

Again, women aren't as CONSISTENT as men. A woman can seem like she's interested one minute, then stand-offish the next.

So rule #1 is:
JUST BECAUSE SHE'S DOING SOMETHING THAT SAYS "I LIKE YOU",
DON'T THINK THAT IT MEANS "I LIKE YOU NO MATTER WHAT".

Much better to interpret subtle "I like you" cues as "I like you for a second, but if you start acting like a Wuss Bag or Dumb Ass, it will all be over in an instant".

Unfortunately for most guys, they take "I like you" signals to mean "You've won my approval, now you can do whatever you want". And what do they do?

Of course... They turn into dorks, say or do a few stupid things, and destroy it all.

Oh, how many times I've watched guys (myself included) screw up perfectly good situations because they just didn't get this concept.

Let me give you an example. Let's say that you're out with a woman, and you've been teasing her, and she smiles and says "I like you". A typical "male" response is for a guy to think to himself "OK, I'm in... she digs me" and to get that rush in the head and chest. Next thing you know, he's acting different. He's talking about different things. He's giving compliments. He's being "nicer".

And what's the woman thinking while this is all going on? Of course... she's thinking "Uh oh, his cool, calm, interesting personality was just a cover for the secret inner-Wuss that was hiding out, waiting for a little bit of approval from me... AHHHHHH!"

Women KNOW that they're in CONTROL of the situation.

Or at least MOST of the time they are... and they THINK that they are even during the times when they're not.

They're constantly using different kinds of communication to test and "feel out" the situation. Remember, MOST of the time when you're saying something that you think is nice, charming, and original, it's something that a woman has heard about 47 times that week from other guys. Us guys act VERY predictably most of the time. And women know how to tell if you're just another loser who's pretending to be cool... who will turn into an average Wuss at the first sign of attraction from a cute woman.

Think about what I just said. This is hard for a lot of guys to swallow... but it's the reality of the situation.

There's something that women call "Sexual Tension". It's also known as "Chemistry" or "Attraction" as well. But only WOMEN know it this way. When you tease a woman, make her laugh, play hard to get with her, act unpredictably, etc. in the right way, you will create this tension. This is what usually leads to a woman saying something like "You're cute" or "I like you". It's the TENSION that makes her FEEL it and SAY it. THE TENSION!

In these very special moments, you need to turn the tension UP. Dial it up. AMPLIFY it. Don't diffuse it all by saying "You're cute yourself" or "I like you, too". Or by smiling like a jackass wussy dork who has just seen his first rainbow. This kind of thing RELEASES the tension, and it usually takes that wonderful electric attraction feeling that the woman is feeling and INSTANTLY kills it.

Does this make logical sense? Hell no. But it's what happens. OK, so let's talk about the RIGHT way to handle this type of situation.

Remember when I said that it's the TENSION that makes a woman feel the feelings and make the comments? And that you need to AMPLIFY it when you're getting a positive response? Nice.

Once upon a time, there was a scene in a movie that illustrated this concept PERFECTLY. In fact, it might be the all-time greatest example of this principle that has ever been recorded on film. Remember the end of "The Empire Strikes Back" when they were about to put Han Solo into the deep freeze?

Remember when Leia said "I love you"...? Remember what Han said? Right, he said... "I know".

Perfect.

All of the sexual tension that built up in Star Wars and Empire culminated in Leia confessing her love. And Han says "I know". Awesome!

Imagine being Leia. What could be going through her mind at this point? An answer like this isn't easy to understand. It has all kinds of implications. It's confusing. It says "I know you love me, because it's been obvious for a long time...".

But it doesn't let HER know how he feels exactly.

It requires consideration. It dials up the tension. It's amazing. By the way, I read that when they were filming that scene Han was supposed to answer "I love you too", but the director didn't like it. They tried all kinds of things, and in the end Harrison Ford made up that line on the spot in one of the takes... and they kept it. Nice.

By the way, one of the BIG reasons why the newer movies in the Star Wars series suck is because there is no character like Han... think about it. It's all boring, predictable stuff. There's no sexy, arrogant, funny, wildcard personality messing things up. Like I pointed out after I saw "Attack Of The Clones", Anakin had to kill an ENTIRE VILLAGE of Sand People just to convince Princess A. that he wasn't a complete and total Wuss.

Would have been so much easier and more entertaining if he would have just had a PERSONALITY.

Whatever. Now where was I...? Oh, yea... amplifying the sexual tension... If you're out with a woman, and you tease her because she's wearing four inch heels by saying "What's the deal, are you four feet tall without those one?", and she opens her mouth with the classic "Oh no you didn't" look (smiling of course, with that surprised smile)... and you dial it up to the next level with "Oh, I'm sorry...Four foot three?"... and she hits you on the arm... ...and then she stops, puts her hand on your arm, and says "You know, you're funny"... ...what do you do?

YOU SAY "YEA, I KNOW" in a serious tone. Or "Don't try to use compliments to make me like you. It won't work. Go buy me a drink or something... I prefer gifts and money."

Or look down at her hand on your arm, lean back slightly, turn your head, and put your eyebrows together as if to say "Just WHAT do you think you're doing touching me?!".

TURN IT UP, my friend! You TURN UP the tension. AMPLIFY it. Keep it going. If you keep amplifying the tension and attraction at each of these wonderful moments, good things will happen.

Good stuff.