Why Women Test Men
Woah !
Being a wuss-bag all my life, it feels weird to finally "get it".
I now finally SEE a whole different level of communication that goes on between Men & Women.
And dammit if it doesn't make my day-to-day interactions MORE interesting !
I gotta say tho'...I'm STILL a ROOKIE at this *game* so I tend to make mistakes the first time around.(Don't worry honey, I'm a fast learner so look out, look out!)
Yesterday was a lesson in women and how they *test* men.
As I'm still learning how to communicate more effectively, I gotta admit I pretty much FAILED last night. BADLY.
I misread all the signal (glances,leading questions,attempts at making me jealous, etc.) and at the end of the night, I drove home alone while the lady ends up on someone else's arm.
Well...so much for that endeavour then...NEXT (!)
Bring on the women 'cos I'm relishing this experience! :-p
P.S. Here's something David DeAngelo covered on Testing.
-------------
First of all, let's talk about the whole concept of "testing", and why women do it (and, more importantly, how to deal with it when it happens).
In a nutshell, "testing" is a woman's way of QUICKLY finding out a lot of information with a very small investment.
You must remember that beautiful women are being approached ALL THE TIME in one way or another... just about every man they meet tries to pick them up or come on to them.
Women can FEEL this happening, even before it actually starts.
Now, if a woman is "available", she must figure out a way to "separate the men from the boys" so to speak, and figure out if a particular man is going to be worth her time.
Enter the TEST.
Also, if an attractive woman is out on a date with a man, or having a phone conversation, etc. (or anything else that could be perceived as taking things to the next level) she must find out quickly whether this particular guy is:
1) Long-term relationship material
2) Short-term "affair" material
3) Friend material
4) Wuss material
5) The Gimp from Pulp Fiction
Keep in mind, a beautiful woman has LOTS of options.
She's being approached probably 100+ times a month with date offers, etc. and could never hope to spend even a small fraction of her time with all the men who are interested in her.
She must use TESTS to quickly cut to the chase and find out what a particular guy is REALLY all about.
Tests can take many forms.
Here are a few common ones:
1) Canceling plans with little notice, or flaking out entirely without notice
2) Asking for gifts or favors outright
3) Acting snotty, demanding, dramatic, or manipulative to see if you'll put up with it
4) Asking or telling you to change your behavior
5) Threatening to leave or take her attention and give it to someone else if you don't comply with her wishes
...and the list goes on.
As you already know, women often use more SUBTLE tests as well.
For instance, complaining that you don't answer her directly, to see if you will.
Or telling you that what you're doing is annoying to her. If a woman complains because you're being difficult, LAUGH. Pretend you're a bad little boy on the school playground, and you just pulled her hair... and she's upset with you...
What would the little boy do?
He'd laugh... and then snap her bra!
Keep things FUN. Don't let her change your direction or upset your mood.
You absolutely CANNOT turn into a Wuss and start explaining yourself.
There's ALWAYS a better way to do things.
For example...
Let's say you've decided that the woman you're talking to is really starting to get annoyed, and you want to give her a little chunk of info.
Instead of saying "Don't mind me", say "OK, I'm 27 years old, I work for an accounting firm, I pay my own rent, I wear socks that match, and I love my
mom... is that better? How boring is that?"
In other words, TELL HER what she wants to know, but say it in a sarcastic way that also says "Fine, you're boring and since you can't think of anything fun to talk about, I'll answer you... Brat".
Keep in mind... this whole style of communication is VERY different from what most guys do... and it's often surprising to a woman.
When she kicks and screams a bit, it's usually because she's genuinely surprised. But don't mistake her whining for REAL resistance.
If she actually gets upset and doesn't want to talk to you anymore just because you didn't answer her questions, and instead busted her balls a bit, then let her go. You learned something VERY valuable, and you didn't even have to marry her to learn it.
Also, when a woman starts resisting your evasive and humorous comments...
...LAUGH!
Have fun.
You need to learn to enjoy yourself during this process. Don't let this stuff get to you... which is NOT useful.
Often, a woman will test you by RESISTING you, or by telling you that "things are moving too fast" or even by asking you what your intentions are with her long term (when you've only known her a short while, and have no intentions of any kind).
What you need to do is SEE her bet, and then RAISE her.
Call her bluff, basically.
WOMEN LOVE THIS!
It INSTANTLY shifts the power from one side to the other, and totally changes the situation around.
*followed by sales pitch to buy his product*
P.S. I know, i know it sounds preachy and some of his ideas are pretty OUT THERE, but the guy DOES make a few valid point innit, ladies ? :-p
Being a wuss-bag all my life, it feels weird to finally "get it".
I now finally SEE a whole different level of communication that goes on between Men & Women.
And dammit if it doesn't make my day-to-day interactions MORE interesting !
I gotta say tho'...I'm STILL a ROOKIE at this *game* so I tend to make mistakes the first time around.(Don't worry honey, I'm a fast learner so look out, look out!)
Yesterday was a lesson in women and how they *test* men.
As I'm still learning how to communicate more effectively, I gotta admit I pretty much FAILED last night. BADLY.
I misread all the signal (glances,leading questions,attempts at making me jealous, etc.) and at the end of the night, I drove home alone while the lady ends up on someone else's arm.
Well...so much for that endeavour then...NEXT (!)
Bring on the women 'cos I'm relishing this experience! :-p
P.S. Here's something David DeAngelo covered on Testing.
-------------
First of all, let's talk about the whole concept of "testing", and why women do it (and, more importantly, how to deal with it when it happens).
In a nutshell, "testing" is a woman's way of QUICKLY finding out a lot of information with a very small investment.
You must remember that beautiful women are being approached ALL THE TIME in one way or another... just about every man they meet tries to pick them up or come on to them.
Women can FEEL this happening, even before it actually starts.
Now, if a woman is "available", she must figure out a way to "separate the men from the boys" so to speak, and figure out if a particular man is going to be worth her time.
Enter the TEST.
Also, if an attractive woman is out on a date with a man, or having a phone conversation, etc. (or anything else that could be perceived as taking things to the next level) she must find out quickly whether this particular guy is:
1) Long-term relationship material
2) Short-term "affair" material
3) Friend material
4) Wuss material
5) The Gimp from Pulp Fiction
Keep in mind, a beautiful woman has LOTS of options.
She's being approached probably 100+ times a month with date offers, etc. and could never hope to spend even a small fraction of her time with all the men who are interested in her.
She must use TESTS to quickly cut to the chase and find out what a particular guy is REALLY all about.
Tests can take many forms.
Here are a few common ones:
1) Canceling plans with little notice, or flaking out entirely without notice
2) Asking for gifts or favors outright
3) Acting snotty, demanding, dramatic, or manipulative to see if you'll put up with it
4) Asking or telling you to change your behavior
5) Threatening to leave or take her attention and give it to someone else if you don't comply with her wishes
...and the list goes on.
As you already know, women often use more SUBTLE tests as well.
For instance, complaining that you don't answer her directly, to see if you will.
Or telling you that what you're doing is annoying to her. If a woman complains because you're being difficult, LAUGH. Pretend you're a bad little boy on the school playground, and you just pulled her hair... and she's upset with you...
What would the little boy do?
He'd laugh... and then snap her bra!
Keep things FUN. Don't let her change your direction or upset your mood.
You absolutely CANNOT turn into a Wuss and start explaining yourself.
There's ALWAYS a better way to do things.
For example...
Let's say you've decided that the woman you're talking to is really starting to get annoyed, and you want to give her a little chunk of info.
Instead of saying "Don't mind me", say "OK, I'm 27 years old, I work for an accounting firm, I pay my own rent, I wear socks that match, and I love my
mom... is that better? How boring is that?"
In other words, TELL HER what she wants to know, but say it in a sarcastic way that also says "Fine, you're boring and since you can't think of anything fun to talk about, I'll answer you... Brat".
Keep in mind... this whole style of communication is VERY different from what most guys do... and it's often surprising to a woman.
When she kicks and screams a bit, it's usually because she's genuinely surprised. But don't mistake her whining for REAL resistance.
If she actually gets upset and doesn't want to talk to you anymore just because you didn't answer her questions, and instead busted her balls a bit, then let her go. You learned something VERY valuable, and you didn't even have to marry her to learn it.
Also, when a woman starts resisting your evasive and humorous comments...
...LAUGH!
Have fun.
You need to learn to enjoy yourself during this process. Don't let this stuff get to you... which is NOT useful.
Often, a woman will test you by RESISTING you, or by telling you that "things are moving too fast" or even by asking you what your intentions are with her long term (when you've only known her a short while, and have no intentions of any kind).
What you need to do is SEE her bet, and then RAISE her.
Call her bluff, basically.
WOMEN LOVE THIS!
It INSTANTLY shifts the power from one side to the other, and totally changes the situation around.
*followed by sales pitch to buy his product*
P.S. I know, i know it sounds preachy and some of his ideas are pretty OUT THERE, but the guy DOES make a few valid point innit, ladies ? :-p
posted by NiK! at
10:23 AM
