The Wingman Chronicles
Definition (courtesy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wingman)
The Wingman is a companion who accompanies his or her friend on social excursions to court the opposite sex. Although the term "wingman" can refer to either a male or female companion, sometimes the term "wingwoman" is used as well. Henceforth the term will refer to the male wingman.
The Wingman was originally a term referring to the plane flying beside and slightly behind the lead plane in an aircraft formation. However, the term has since evolved to mean a companion who supports the "pilot" by engaging his target, as well as defending him against possible intruders in a hostile social environment.
The purpose of the wingman is to boost his or her companion's confidence and social image. Wingmen must back up their pilots in their quest for love. The objective of the wingman can be summarized in one sentence: Taking one for the team.
Techniques vary across different wingmen and different regions. Some of the more common techniques include:
Initiation
The wingman may initialize an encounter with the target by approaching her first in order to break the ice and soften her up for the pilot. The wingman will also bravely face the risk of being shot down. A good wingman will successfully deflect any rejection and spare his pilot's self-esteem.
Backup
The wingman may approach and acknowledge the pilot, who is already engaged in conversation with his target. This serves to increase the pilot's self-esteem as well as his social image. The wingman is also there to back him up in case things start to go sour.
Isolation
The wingman may isolate the target by asking her friends to accompany him somewhere else, such as the dance floor, salad bar, restroom, etc. This move will leave the pilot alone to work his magic on the target. This technique is derived from predator-prey interactions in the African savannah.
Distraction
The wingman may engage women who are interested in pursuing his pilot, thus allowing the pilot free reign to pursue his own targets. In this way, he serves as a protective shield around his pilot.
----
The Scene
It was the 25th of Dec, 2005. Christmas Eve. My cousin just turned 28 today.
After spending the past 3 months reading up on the ideas advocated by David Deangelo, he feels that its time he puts it into practice. Being the guy that introduced Deangelo to him, he decided I would fit perfectly into the role of his Wingman while we go “Hunting”. Having nothing better to do on Christmas Eve, I relented and gave a little shudder of anticipation as we embarked on his first hunt.
The Place
The Curve-Ikano-Ikea area on Christmas Eve.
The Mindset on the Hunt
The important mindset to have while you are ON THE HUNT is that the hunt (for Women and their contact numbers) is NOT the be all and end all for your excursion. If you make it THE reason you are going out, you will be TOO focused on each encounter and outcome that you’ll come off as needy/insecure.
It's important to have an external agenda while going out and have the hunting aspect be JUST another activity you indulge in while carrying out the main agenda. For this hunt, my cousin was shopping for some Interior Design shite for his bachelor pad.
Also, choose the hunting ground to suit your character. If you're an outgoing, physical kind a person, maybe going out and having fun dancing away at clubs is your style ('cos u can show off your dance moves and agility as your plus points). If you're the more bookish, intellectual type, then maybe bookstores or the library is your thing. For most regular guys, mackin' at shopping malls/cinemas/grocery stores/coffee shops and bars are the regular hunting grounds.
Besides that, what type of prey you hunt for is key. If you're outgoing and would love an equally physically active mate, go to spots where there’s a higher concentration of fit women like the gym, or health clubs and activity centers like rock-climbing, etc. Vice versa if you're the bookish type = hunt for prey at book readings at bookstores, libraries, art galleries, theatres, etc.
With agenda, hunting ground and prey in mind, we proceeded to mill about the Ikea store looking for that perfect wall fixture for my cousin's home while at the same time being on the lookout for any prospects.
Tips on Hunting
Depending on your inner confidence level and social skills, it is imperative that you choose your prey accordingly. Be aware of what your capabilities are and don't go for women out of your league, My Son!
If you are just a street alley cat (in other words, just another regular guy); don't be hoping to hunt down an antelope or savannah deer (i.e. high class ladies with expensive taste). That's just asking for trouble, dude. I understand this goes against Deangelo's ideology, but everyone needs to start somewhere. Imagine this as a form of training wheels for beginner hunters.
Deangelo on the other hand imparts the knowledge that NO women is too much of a challenge for you, and the more stunning the woman, the more easier the game (because logically, more men “assume” the woman’s taken, so she NEVER gets approached in the first place). Of course, being stunning, she’s used to getting the regular moronic compliments / attention from men; so your approach has gotta be different from the other 100 guys that just ogled her in silence (without approaching her) as she walked past or opened with another cheesy line (as if she hadn't heard it for the last time that day!).
Be a MAN(!), Be different from the norm, embrace your inner manhood, and find the confidence to actually approach women instead of ogling them for fcuk's sake! Even if you do approach women, stop using cheesy lines and make normal conversation.
After all…the worse thing she could say is NO. And there are another 2.5 billion women on this earth for the taking. ;-p
The Hunt
So with that idea in mind, my cousin finally spots his prey.
A woman of the petite, well-built (i.e. physically fit-lah!) variety, clad in green, hovering around the gardening section.
The key now is to alert your prey of your intentions: MAKE EYE CONTACT !
Just slide along in her direction and be interested in an item, make eye contact and don't let go of it until she turns away first (a strong subconscious sign which shows ur in control and confident of ur capabilities…or that ur a stalker! ;-p), *smile*.
If she smiles back, that's acceptance of ur presence in her immediate surrounding (i.e. she doesn’t think ur a weirdo), walk up to her and make small talk. Ask open-ended questions (like her opinion on something, NOT a question that can be answered with Yes/No and stifle the conversation to an abrupt stop). Connect the topic of your small talk to your surrounding environment.
If ur in a shopping outlet, ask her whether she knows where to find an item? Or how to an item works? Etc. (My favourite ice breaker is acting as though she's one of the staff, and bossing her about like a rude customer…in a cheeky way of course!) There's SO many ways to play it that it doesn’t bear typing it down. You just have to be there and experience it yourself.
Make it short. After 3 minutes, walk away (it's only normal, say u gotta get back to ur friends, i.e. wingman), before u leave, turn around and ask her for her e-mail. (Yes, it's THAT easy). While she's telling/writing it down for you, ask her to write down her contact number too.
3 minutes. Done. Mission accomplished.
Let's reframe that and see it from the woman's point of view.
Women KNOW when she's being approached, guys. It's NO BIG SECRET. If you're just minding your own business, doing ur shopping, and suddenly that cute guy you just made eye contact and smiled at approaches you and makes small talk…it's obvious to her that ur wanting something. But it's not that obvious to men. They think they have to charm the pants off a woman or open with a cheesy line. SO don't beat around the bush, be confident, and ask her for her number. The simplest way is the strongest approach. Who'd have figure that out huh? :-p
Now go out there and approach the next 100 women who catches your fancy!
After the first twenty women, you should have enough confidence in you and it would become like second nature. Granted, the first five would be the hardest thing ever in your adult male life…but learn well from your mistakes My Son, and pretty soon approaching women wouldn't be a problem for you anymore.
The conclusion
So how did my cousin's hunt go?
Well…I was a pretty bad Wingman that night 'cos I forgot to prep him properly. His opening line was “Exuse me…are you single?” (Believe me, the simplest straightforward approach is the strongest and easiest to pull off). However, that opening line wasn't an open ended question, so when she said “No.”, my cousin lost his cojones' and walked away in shame. Plus he didn't make eye contact before approaching her, so he kinda blind-sided the woman.
To make a long story short, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. We bumped into Sue (the petite green-clad fit woman who we got better acquainted with and turned out to be a fitness trainer) another few times that night at the Curve and eventually my cousin managed to gather up the courage to ask her out for a coffee. Being a wingman, this is the time to leave them together to get to know each other better and fcuk off for a good one hour. Come back later, and help your pilot “finish/close the deal” by ensuring he gets her contacts.
A week later, Sue joined us on a road trip down to Singapore for New Years where my cousin had the wildest fun he's had in his 28 yrs on this god-given earth.
Imagine for the past 27 years, my cousin had no concept of how to approach women and creating attraction instead of affection in a woman. Come his 28th birthday, he gathers enough courage to actually go out there and start meeting women; and within 7 days (using the ideas from Deangelo) managed to entice her to join us on our road-trip. Kudos to Mad, and here's to more successes in our future hunts, My Son!
So there's hope after all for all you regular man out there. Get your shit together, build up your inner confidence (it'll show through in your body language, voice inflection, and level of eye contact) and start hunting!
The Wingman is a companion who accompanies his or her friend on social excursions to court the opposite sex. Although the term "wingman" can refer to either a male or female companion, sometimes the term "wingwoman" is used as well. Henceforth the term will refer to the male wingman.
The Wingman was originally a term referring to the plane flying beside and slightly behind the lead plane in an aircraft formation. However, the term has since evolved to mean a companion who supports the "pilot" by engaging his target, as well as defending him against possible intruders in a hostile social environment.
The purpose of the wingman is to boost his or her companion's confidence and social image. Wingmen must back up their pilots in their quest for love. The objective of the wingman can be summarized in one sentence: Taking one for the team.
Techniques vary across different wingmen and different regions. Some of the more common techniques include:
Initiation
The wingman may initialize an encounter with the target by approaching her first in order to break the ice and soften her up for the pilot. The wingman will also bravely face the risk of being shot down. A good wingman will successfully deflect any rejection and spare his pilot's self-esteem.
Backup
The wingman may approach and acknowledge the pilot, who is already engaged in conversation with his target. This serves to increase the pilot's self-esteem as well as his social image. The wingman is also there to back him up in case things start to go sour.
Isolation
The wingman may isolate the target by asking her friends to accompany him somewhere else, such as the dance floor, salad bar, restroom, etc. This move will leave the pilot alone to work his magic on the target. This technique is derived from predator-prey interactions in the African savannah.
Distraction
The wingman may engage women who are interested in pursuing his pilot, thus allowing the pilot free reign to pursue his own targets. In this way, he serves as a protective shield around his pilot.
----
The Scene
It was the 25th of Dec, 2005. Christmas Eve. My cousin just turned 28 today.
After spending the past 3 months reading up on the ideas advocated by David Deangelo, he feels that its time he puts it into practice. Being the guy that introduced Deangelo to him, he decided I would fit perfectly into the role of his Wingman while we go “Hunting”. Having nothing better to do on Christmas Eve, I relented and gave a little shudder of anticipation as we embarked on his first hunt.
The Place
The Curve-Ikano-Ikea area on Christmas Eve.
The Mindset on the Hunt
The important mindset to have while you are ON THE HUNT is that the hunt (for Women and their contact numbers) is NOT the be all and end all for your excursion. If you make it THE reason you are going out, you will be TOO focused on each encounter and outcome that you’ll come off as needy/insecure.
It's important to have an external agenda while going out and have the hunting aspect be JUST another activity you indulge in while carrying out the main agenda. For this hunt, my cousin was shopping for some Interior Design shite for his bachelor pad.
Also, choose the hunting ground to suit your character. If you're an outgoing, physical kind a person, maybe going out and having fun dancing away at clubs is your style ('cos u can show off your dance moves and agility as your plus points). If you're the more bookish, intellectual type, then maybe bookstores or the library is your thing. For most regular guys, mackin' at shopping malls/cinemas/grocery stores/coffee shops and bars are the regular hunting grounds.
Besides that, what type of prey you hunt for is key. If you're outgoing and would love an equally physically active mate, go to spots where there’s a higher concentration of fit women like the gym, or health clubs and activity centers like rock-climbing, etc. Vice versa if you're the bookish type = hunt for prey at book readings at bookstores, libraries, art galleries, theatres, etc.
With agenda, hunting ground and prey in mind, we proceeded to mill about the Ikea store looking for that perfect wall fixture for my cousin's home while at the same time being on the lookout for any prospects.
Tips on Hunting
Depending on your inner confidence level and social skills, it is imperative that you choose your prey accordingly. Be aware of what your capabilities are and don't go for women out of your league, My Son!
If you are just a street alley cat (in other words, just another regular guy); don't be hoping to hunt down an antelope or savannah deer (i.e. high class ladies with expensive taste). That's just asking for trouble, dude. I understand this goes against Deangelo's ideology, but everyone needs to start somewhere. Imagine this as a form of training wheels for beginner hunters.
Deangelo on the other hand imparts the knowledge that NO women is too much of a challenge for you, and the more stunning the woman, the more easier the game (because logically, more men “assume” the woman’s taken, so she NEVER gets approached in the first place). Of course, being stunning, she’s used to getting the regular moronic compliments / attention from men; so your approach has gotta be different from the other 100 guys that just ogled her in silence (without approaching her) as she walked past or opened with another cheesy line (as if she hadn't heard it for the last time that day!).
Be a MAN(!), Be different from the norm, embrace your inner manhood, and find the confidence to actually approach women instead of ogling them for fcuk's sake! Even if you do approach women, stop using cheesy lines and make normal conversation.
After all…the worse thing she could say is NO. And there are another 2.5 billion women on this earth for the taking. ;-p
The Hunt
So with that idea in mind, my cousin finally spots his prey.
A woman of the petite, well-built (i.e. physically fit-lah!) variety, clad in green, hovering around the gardening section.
The key now is to alert your prey of your intentions: MAKE EYE CONTACT !
Just slide along in her direction and be interested in an item, make eye contact and don't let go of it until she turns away first (a strong subconscious sign which shows ur in control and confident of ur capabilities…or that ur a stalker! ;-p), *smile*.
If she smiles back, that's acceptance of ur presence in her immediate surrounding (i.e. she doesn’t think ur a weirdo), walk up to her and make small talk. Ask open-ended questions (like her opinion on something, NOT a question that can be answered with Yes/No and stifle the conversation to an abrupt stop). Connect the topic of your small talk to your surrounding environment.
If ur in a shopping outlet, ask her whether she knows where to find an item? Or how to an item works? Etc. (My favourite ice breaker is acting as though she's one of the staff, and bossing her about like a rude customer…in a cheeky way of course!) There's SO many ways to play it that it doesn’t bear typing it down. You just have to be there and experience it yourself.
Make it short. After 3 minutes, walk away (it's only normal, say u gotta get back to ur friends, i.e. wingman), before u leave, turn around and ask her for her e-mail. (Yes, it's THAT easy). While she's telling/writing it down for you, ask her to write down her contact number too.
3 minutes. Done. Mission accomplished.
Let's reframe that and see it from the woman's point of view.
Women KNOW when she's being approached, guys. It's NO BIG SECRET. If you're just minding your own business, doing ur shopping, and suddenly that cute guy you just made eye contact and smiled at approaches you and makes small talk…it's obvious to her that ur wanting something. But it's not that obvious to men. They think they have to charm the pants off a woman or open with a cheesy line. SO don't beat around the bush, be confident, and ask her for her number. The simplest way is the strongest approach. Who'd have figure that out huh? :-p
Now go out there and approach the next 100 women who catches your fancy!
After the first twenty women, you should have enough confidence in you and it would become like second nature. Granted, the first five would be the hardest thing ever in your adult male life…but learn well from your mistakes My Son, and pretty soon approaching women wouldn't be a problem for you anymore.
The conclusion
So how did my cousin's hunt go?
Well…I was a pretty bad Wingman that night 'cos I forgot to prep him properly. His opening line was “Exuse me…are you single?” (Believe me, the simplest straightforward approach is the strongest and easiest to pull off). However, that opening line wasn't an open ended question, so when she said “No.”, my cousin lost his cojones' and walked away in shame. Plus he didn't make eye contact before approaching her, so he kinda blind-sided the woman.
To make a long story short, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. We bumped into Sue (the petite green-clad fit woman who we got better acquainted with and turned out to be a fitness trainer) another few times that night at the Curve and eventually my cousin managed to gather up the courage to ask her out for a coffee. Being a wingman, this is the time to leave them together to get to know each other better and fcuk off for a good one hour. Come back later, and help your pilot “finish/close the deal” by ensuring he gets her contacts.
A week later, Sue joined us on a road trip down to Singapore for New Years where my cousin had the wildest fun he's had in his 28 yrs on this god-given earth.
Imagine for the past 27 years, my cousin had no concept of how to approach women and creating attraction instead of affection in a woman. Come his 28th birthday, he gathers enough courage to actually go out there and start meeting women; and within 7 days (using the ideas from Deangelo) managed to entice her to join us on our road-trip. Kudos to Mad, and here's to more successes in our future hunts, My Son!
So there's hope after all for all you regular man out there. Get your shit together, build up your inner confidence (it'll show through in your body language, voice inflection, and level of eye contact) and start hunting!
posted by NiK! at
9:39 AM
