How to Keep Him/Her Calling Back
Editor's Note: This article is originally written and meant for women. However the points it brings up are relevant to men as well. Guys, STOP being a wussy-loser the moment a woman even looks your way and starts giving attention. INSTEAD, be an ALPHA MALE for fcuk's sake and emulate the relevant points discussed below!
P.S. It's harder to exercise it than it is to talk. SO says the Editor who's had a tough time himself, dropping the wussy act and being a MAN instead. Ho-hum, thus is LIFE. ;-p
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Using Mixed Messages Is The Secret To Keep Him On The Line
Written by Melissa Balmer, originally published on Seduction Insider.com
Ladies, there are two major things you need to own if you want to be the sort of woman men are jumping over themselves to go out with…not just once, but again and again:
If you not only memorize the above two facts, but can put them into play, you’ll be able to drastically improve your results with any man you spark a connection with. That’s right, I said drastically improve.
Yep, I know it sounds simple, but if you keep these two facts in the forefront of your mind whenever dealing with a man you’re attracted to, you’ll automatically start changing your behavior into a style he’ll find much more beguiling.
Why Some Men Don't Call Back
And why is it important to change your behavior? Because let’s face it girls, once we meet a guy we’re really attracted to we usually make him far too important far too quickly. We watch the phone, we constantly check our email, and then when he does contact us, we talk too long, too frequently, and make ourselves too available.
Then on a date, instead of being our own fascinating and bewitching selves, we either talk too much (laying our dirty laundry on the table), or not enough (making him the star of the show), and to top it all off we often change our interests, goals, etc. to those which better mirror his own – all because we think this will make us more desirable in his eyes.
So what happens? He becomes either bored or freaked because we’re just a bit too eager. He starts to feel we’re not that special after all, that perhaps we’re just “guy crazy” and then he disappears. Does that mean we should revert to game playing to keep him interested? No. Should we follow specific “rules” such as never calling a man, ever? No, because sooner or later game playing backfires, and following a set of rigid rules makes us a rigid, unpleasant person to be around – in other words, not sexy or seductive at all.
What is sexy is to keep him guessing and keep him wanting to learn more about you. Remember:
How to Use Mixed Messages to Keep Him on the Line
There are two kinds of mixed messages, those that confuse a man a make him think you’re either playing him (or you’re a confused mess he needs to get away from fast) and those that make him more curious.
Blowing hot and cold, that is showing a lot of passionate interest on the phone, and then acting bored or flirting with other guys when you finally see a guy in person, is the sort of mixed message that usually backfires unless you absolutely know the guy is hooked. And it’s a dangerous game, because sooner or later he’s going to want to even the score by making you jealous.
A better-mixed message is to tell him you really want to see him, but you just don’t have that much time right now. This may not seem like a mixed message, but it is. Especially for the hotties that are used to women dropping everything for him. You, on the other hand, have a life and won’t dump your girlfriends, family, work, hobbies etc. just because he’s shown up in your life.
You don’t act bitchy or high handed, you’re enthusiastic about seeing him, you just simply only have time to see him once a week. And you don’t have all the time in the world to chat on the phone or online either.
So what if your social life isn’t that social? Act my darling, act! Even if your Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights are filled with you on the couch with your favorite sitcoms on T.V., you tell him which night you’re free (he doesn’t decide for you), and you’re only free that one night. When he asks what you’re doing the other nights, just smile sweetly and say, “I have plans I can’t break.”
You can also use mixed messages about sex. No, I don’t mean for you to turn into a tease, but I do mean for you to wait until you know you have the sort of open communication with a man that will ensure he’s not the only one who’s going to have fun in the bedroom.
So how does this work? You can passionately kiss a guy, but once his hands begin to wander, pull them away gently and say, “I really like you but I don’t fee like we don’t know each other well enough for that yet.”
Of course he’ll try to argue, but you stand your ground firmly but sweetly and say something like, “I know you’re willing to tell me just about anything I want to hear right now, but I prefer my compliments when a man isn’t all hot and bothered,” and then you tell him you had a wonderful time but you’ve got to study/wash your hair/get up early for work/call your Grandmother (you choose) and nicely but firmly push him out the door or ask him to drive you home.
He’ll be bummed and a bit confused (especially if he’s use to getting his own way), but if he’s any sort of decent guy with a sense of humor he’ll have to admit to himself that you’re right about him “saying anything you want to hear” in the heat of the moment to get closer to you physically, and he’ll respect you for it.
You’re showing him that he has to earn your respect, which means it’s still a chase and you’re now becoming someone special.
P.S. It's harder to exercise it than it is to talk. SO says the Editor who's had a tough time himself, dropping the wussy act and being a MAN instead. Ho-hum, thus is LIFE. ;-p
----
Using Mixed Messages Is The Secret To Keep Him On The Line
Written by Melissa Balmer, originally published on Seduction Insider.com
Ladies, there are two major things you need to own if you want to be the sort of woman men are jumping over themselves to go out with…not just once, but again and again:
Men love the chase
Everyone wants someone special
If you not only memorize the above two facts, but can put them into play, you’ll be able to drastically improve your results with any man you spark a connection with. That’s right, I said drastically improve.
Yep, I know it sounds simple, but if you keep these two facts in the forefront of your mind whenever dealing with a man you’re attracted to, you’ll automatically start changing your behavior into a style he’ll find much more beguiling.
Why Some Men Don't Call Back
And why is it important to change your behavior? Because let’s face it girls, once we meet a guy we’re really attracted to we usually make him far too important far too quickly. We watch the phone, we constantly check our email, and then when he does contact us, we talk too long, too frequently, and make ourselves too available.
Then on a date, instead of being our own fascinating and bewitching selves, we either talk too much (laying our dirty laundry on the table), or not enough (making him the star of the show), and to top it all off we often change our interests, goals, etc. to those which better mirror his own – all because we think this will make us more desirable in his eyes.
So what happens? He becomes either bored or freaked because we’re just a bit too eager. He starts to feel we’re not that special after all, that perhaps we’re just “guy crazy” and then he disappears. Does that mean we should revert to game playing to keep him interested? No. Should we follow specific “rules” such as never calling a man, ever? No, because sooner or later game playing backfires, and following a set of rigid rules makes us a rigid, unpleasant person to be around – in other words, not sexy or seductive at all.
What is sexy is to keep him guessing and keep him wanting to learn more about you. Remember:
When we make things too easy for men (and vice versa) and they get bored, or start to take us for granted. By keeping the above facts always in the forefront of your mind when dealing with flirting and dating you’ll start to take the steps to make sure you keep him wondering. Let’s look at some specific ways you can do this.
Men love the chase
Everyone wants someone special
How to Use Mixed Messages to Keep Him on the Line
There are two kinds of mixed messages, those that confuse a man a make him think you’re either playing him (or you’re a confused mess he needs to get away from fast) and those that make him more curious.
Blowing hot and cold, that is showing a lot of passionate interest on the phone, and then acting bored or flirting with other guys when you finally see a guy in person, is the sort of mixed message that usually backfires unless you absolutely know the guy is hooked. And it’s a dangerous game, because sooner or later he’s going to want to even the score by making you jealous.
A better-mixed message is to tell him you really want to see him, but you just don’t have that much time right now. This may not seem like a mixed message, but it is. Especially for the hotties that are used to women dropping everything for him. You, on the other hand, have a life and won’t dump your girlfriends, family, work, hobbies etc. just because he’s shown up in your life.
You don’t act bitchy or high handed, you’re enthusiastic about seeing him, you just simply only have time to see him once a week. And you don’t have all the time in the world to chat on the phone or online either.
So what if your social life isn’t that social? Act my darling, act! Even if your Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights are filled with you on the couch with your favorite sitcoms on T.V., you tell him which night you’re free (he doesn’t decide for you), and you’re only free that one night. When he asks what you’re doing the other nights, just smile sweetly and say, “I have plans I can’t break.”
You can also use mixed messages about sex. No, I don’t mean for you to turn into a tease, but I do mean for you to wait until you know you have the sort of open communication with a man that will ensure he’s not the only one who’s going to have fun in the bedroom.
So how does this work? You can passionately kiss a guy, but once his hands begin to wander, pull them away gently and say, “I really like you but I don’t fee like we don’t know each other well enough for that yet.”
Of course he’ll try to argue, but you stand your ground firmly but sweetly and say something like, “I know you’re willing to tell me just about anything I want to hear right now, but I prefer my compliments when a man isn’t all hot and bothered,” and then you tell him you had a wonderful time but you’ve got to study/wash your hair/get up early for work/call your Grandmother (you choose) and nicely but firmly push him out the door or ask him to drive you home.
He’ll be bummed and a bit confused (especially if he’s use to getting his own way), but if he’s any sort of decent guy with a sense of humor he’ll have to admit to himself that you’re right about him “saying anything you want to hear” in the heat of the moment to get closer to you physically, and he’ll respect you for it.
You’re showing him that he has to earn your respect, which means it’s still a chase and you’re now becoming someone special.
posted by NiK! at
3:50 PM
