To Be or Not To Be

That is the Question...

??Gay Kiss??

"Are you GAY?"
~Jay, ECM Libra Confidante.

"Are you SURE you're NOT GAY?"
~Shuba asked after 48 hours vacationing with me recently.

"Dun worry girls, NiK's GAY, that's why he's SO like that wan!"
~Eliza to her HOT GFs during a recent clubbing session.

"No-lah, if only there's a vintage/thrift store in M'sia. Well Nik, all these talk of flowers & dresses are making me think I'm talking to a girl. Enough with the girly talklah!"
~Ed, Diva.

??Brokeback Office??

Well ladies....sorry to rain on your parade...but the answer is simply and most irrevocably:

"NO ladies, I'm NOT GAY"

"I happen to LOVE women (& pu$$y) TOO much

to be gay (& start lovin c@ck)"

I mean for fcuk's sake woman....I WANT YOU (!), do I have to be anymore blatant than that??!!
*ahem*

(re-fixes neon pink bow-tie into correct position & smooths hair back into place)

Now that we've got the "theatrics" out of the way, let's get back to the gist of the matter and settle this discussion once and for all.

SO I happen to like browsing through OK / Hello / HOT magazine when I pick up my Men's Health / Film Review / FHM at the Magstore; SO I'm prone to watching rom-coms and situational dramas besides the live actioners, comedies or complex indie movies I love so dearly; SO I'm prone to reading my lil sis' period romance novels every now and then (ladies, CHECK OUT Susan Johnson's line of books ~ YUMMY! That's S-U-S-A-N J-O-H-N-S-O-N) on top of my regular fix of Sci-Fi or Fantasy or Crime Novels; SO I'm prone to watching Project: Runway (OMG I *HEART* HEIDI KLUM!), America's Next Top Model & Queer Eye For a Straight Guy, besides the regular TV fare like L O S T, CSI, comedies and cooking shows / documentaries on Discovery Travel & Living (Anthony Bourdain rox!)....

SO WHAT??!!!

Just 'cos my taste tends to linger wider than the regular dumb-caveman / mat rempit male doesn't mean I'm GAY, woman! I couldn't care less if you find it disturbing that a guy that looks like an ah-long from Kajang can converse with you about colours and textures for clothes; or indulge with you about the latest Hollywood gossip; or even talk about which leading male is HOT or not currently in H'wood. (O.k. that LAST one is pretty disturbing even to me!)

I don't do facials or pedicures nor manicures; I couldn't care less whether what I'm wearing is branded or not; I try not to colour coordinate when I'm not in the office; I'm more of a shirts and frayed jeans / three-quarter pants kinda guy in my free time; and I hate working out and love to eat (especially junk food that's bad for my health).

So NO, I'm NOT a METROSEXUAL, or a NEW AGE SENSITIVE MAN, nor GAY.

I just happen to be a MAN that appreciates the finer things in life and can see things from a female point of view. Being a mama's boy for the past 23 years of my life has fcuked-me up SO good and given me SUCH a twisted outlook compared to regular males who loves PORN, prefer to watch football all night, or talk hours on end about cars, or go geeky over the latest technological gadget.

I mean...YES...I LOVE to do that as well...to a degree...but I don't mind if I don't do it either. I'm comfortable enough, carrying a conversation about clothes or the latest gossip etc. etc.

If you're still unconvinced woman....then I'm sure we could discuss it further at some appointed time where I can show you my manhood and "talk" about my shortcomings!

;-)

In conclusion, if you can't handle me and my sh1t; fcuk off then(!). Life's TOO SHORT to be spent trying to please EVERYONE; I don't care if women find me disarming and I turn on their GAY-dar senses TOO MUCH.

I'm NOT a regular man like the dozens out there-lah. I'm uunikk, one of a kind, diamond in the rough, and other mumbo-jumbo sh1t like that. i AM what i AM, and if you're TOO short-sighted to see past your prejudices or if you can't handle it then woman, TOUGH LUCK !

Posing Ala-ala Macho Male-Chauvinist-Pig Siut!

P/S - U know what. In retrospect...a few hours after venting my anger...the MALE side of my brain is saying that this post sounds pretty much like what a GAY man in denial would do when someone points out that he's oh-SO gay: Throw a HISSY fit like a woman(!)

But I've decided to put this post up neways 'cos I think it's retardedly funny how my mind flip flops from *pseudo-feminine* to "macho-male chauvinist pig" within seconds. Must be the bloody time of the month again!

;-p