The Penis Dialogues
Over the weekend, I found a nice surprise when a fellow MtG-gamer I've hung out with every few weekends or so for the past 10 years turned out to also be a practising advocate of David Deangelo. (Yes, yes...this is ANOTHER male-chauvinistically charged post on women and the concepts of attraction, so to my regular readers that HATES this kinda posts, log off now..I promise a movie review double whammy on Pride & Prejudice AND Oliver Twist sometime during the CNY hols).
Neways, Vincent (or Atog as he is more commonly known among the Malaysian Gaming circles~Sorry dude, that JUST had to come out...hehehe) first got introduced to David Deangelo's concepts three years ago and has been practising it for a good two years. Compared to myself who's only been turned on to it around 9 months ago, that's a lifetime of mackin' mate!
Here's some interesting excerpts from our conversations during the weekend:
The Reality
When it comes to creating attraction instead of affection in a woman; some guys are born with it (naturals), some guys do it the hard way and learn through years of actual trial & error experiences in the field (playas), and MOST guys never figure it out(nice guy).
Forever to be doomed as THAT NICE GUY who's caught in an eternal cycle of being a woman's best guy friend, listening to her moan & bitch when their bastard boyfriends leave them high and dry until the next booty call comes (whereupon aforementioned *nice guy* ends up in his regular depressing "lurch" and have to resort to wanking all that frustration away).
Here's some interesting excerpts from our conversations during the weekend:
The Reality
When it comes to creating attraction instead of affection in a woman; some guys are born with it (naturals), some guys do it the hard way and learn through years of actual trial & error experiences in the field (playas), and MOST guys never figure it out(nice guy).
Forever to be doomed as THAT NICE GUY who's caught in an eternal cycle of being a woman's best guy friend, listening to her moan & bitch when their bastard boyfriends leave them high and dry until the next booty call comes (whereupon aforementioned *nice guy* ends up in his regular depressing "lurch" and have to resort to wanking all that frustration away).
Thanks to the wonders of modern technology however, there's SO much information available on the Net these days. Just Google up or download anything you want to know about creating attraction in women and I'm sure you'll find some pretty interesting sources such as David Deangelo, Mystery, David X, Cliff's List, Neill Strauss, etc.
It's funny how people go to university for four long years to get a degree when they want to learn something, yet EXPECT to master human communication magically in the blink of an eye. Like all things in life, you HAVE TO go through an EDUCATION before you can shed your current lethargy and start succeeding with women. It doesn't happen overnight and it takes A LOT of practise. But it's worth it because once you've mastered this, you can focus on far more pertinent things in your life and apply it to pretty much every other aspect of your day to day life.
Your success is but a Google click away.
On Approaching Woman
Vincent: Tell me something. What's your mindset when you approach women? What goes on in that brain of yours? Nervousness? Fear? Anxiety?
NiK: Dudeeee, c'mon man. U gotta give me some credit, man. After all, i HAVE been exposed to Deangelo for the past 9 months. It used to be like that all through out my teens right until about 9 months ago.
Nowadays, I pretty much approach in a calm/relaxed manner, make and keep eye contact, control my voice inflections to pace it slower and deeper conveying confidence and nonchalance, and have positive body language by leaning back and avoiding fidgeting, hunching or hovering nervously.
My mindset going in is: It doesn't matter if I don't get this one, heck there's another 2 billion women population in this world!
Vincent: Wrong! That's a flawed mindset to have.
NiK: WTF??!!
Listen to me.
When you go in with even a smidgen of inkling EXPECTING failure (say 1-5% of self-doubt) , it carries thru when you're emoting and in your body language. Remember, 90% of all communication is non-verbal and women are particularly adept at picking up on little stuff like this.
Woah....*blinks in realization*...that's a fcukin strong reframe you just made on me man....like a 180 degrees change in how I think about stuff....cool...
Hahahahahaha......That's why you're the lowly padawan and I-AM-THE-MASTER !
Fcuk you, b1tch!
When I go in, I have the mindset that no matter what excuse the women throws at me, i WILL get her. Even if she shows resistance, i WILL find a way to overcome her defenses and get to her. That 100% self belief follows thru into my body language and when I emote; creating cocky confidence that's invincible.
Strong! Now are you gonna finish those fries? The bloody cashier shortchanged me on my Happy Meal. I DEMAND my Happy Meal Toy!
*Throws fries at me* Stop being a dumb-ass, Nik.
Mmmmm...MickeyDs sure does make the BEST fries in the world...
*Rolls eyes in mock disdain*
Self-Referral Vs. Object Referral
So tell me. What's this I read on your blog about you freezing up when it comes to speaking to that certain somebody? (refer to F-R-E-E-Z-E! post from right sidebar)
I can't put it into words, man....I mean I can get along pretty fine and have pretty much eliminated most of my insecurities when it comes to communicating with women. Yet when it comes to her.... when it comes to her..... I....
You turn into a WUSS.
Yes....yes I wuss-out and just become someone other than me. My brain turns to jello, my tongue is stifled, I don't know what to say....Why do I fear so much? And only with her?
Easy. That's because you CARE too much about the outcome when it comes to her. Have you ever heard of Self-Referral & Object-Referral?
Err....nope. C'mon...'fess up and spill the beans Einstein!
Well.... your puny undeveloped brain might not be able to take this in at this stage, but let's see whether I can reframe your mindset some more and make it grow.
*Hmmppph!* Reframe away then beyatch!
Object-Referral means your current mood, mindset and general state of happiness is dependent to an object. Be it getting that pay rise/promotion at work, buying that latest in-thing gadget, or like you....having that woman of your dreams.
Self-Referral on the other hand means your current mood, mindset and general state of happiness is free of any earthly desires and is wholly dependent on only yourself. No amount of white noise, negativeness, nor tragedy in your surrounding environ affects your state of mind. Once you have attained this level of mastery, then only will you have that elusive X-factor people dub charisma.
Blow me down and Shiver me timbers! Colour Me Clueless if you didn't just quote Buddha AND Yoda in the same breath, just now.
Regardless of its source, it is THE universal truth.
You HAVE to get over your hang-up with this woman and move on. Your general state of happiness DOES NOT depend on one woman. Go out there and meet more women. Grow up and evolve.
From our conversations and what I've seen on your blog, you've figured out much of the theory...all you lack is the practise and application in real life.
There's three types of people in this world: Those that talk the talk (posers); those that walk the walk (mundanes); and those that walk the talk (uniques) Go out there and start walking the talk instead of merely contemplating about it!
*smiles* U've got a point there my man....gawd do I need to get much more face-time. All these ideas in my head and nary the time to test 'em out. It's been a pleasure just hanging out talking shop with you, man....
Anytime Nik...Anytime. I presume lunch is on you the next time around?
*grins* Anytime dude....Anytime.
Strong! Now are you gonna finish those fries? The bloody cashier shortchanged me on my Happy Meal. I DEMAND my Happy Meal Toy!
*Throws fries at me* Stop being a dumb-ass, Nik.
Mmmmm...MickeyDs sure does make the BEST fries in the world...
*Rolls eyes in mock disdain*
Self-Referral Vs. Object Referral
So tell me. What's this I read on your blog about you freezing up when it comes to speaking to that certain somebody? (refer to F-R-E-E-Z-E! post from right sidebar)
I can't put it into words, man....I mean I can get along pretty fine and have pretty much eliminated most of my insecurities when it comes to communicating with women. Yet when it comes to her.... when it comes to her..... I....
You turn into a WUSS.
Yes....yes I wuss-out and just become someone other than me. My brain turns to jello, my tongue is stifled, I don't know what to say....Why do I fear so much? And only with her?
Easy. That's because you CARE too much about the outcome when it comes to her. Have you ever heard of Self-Referral & Object-Referral?
Err....nope. C'mon...'fess up and spill the beans Einstein!
Well.... your puny undeveloped brain might not be able to take this in at this stage, but let's see whether I can reframe your mindset some more and make it grow.
*Hmmppph!* Reframe away then beyatch!
Object-Referral means your current mood, mindset and general state of happiness is dependent to an object. Be it getting that pay rise/promotion at work, buying that latest in-thing gadget, or like you....having that woman of your dreams.
Self-Referral on the other hand means your current mood, mindset and general state of happiness is free of any earthly desires and is wholly dependent on only yourself. No amount of white noise, negativeness, nor tragedy in your surrounding environ affects your state of mind. Once you have attained this level of mastery, then only will you have that elusive X-factor people dub charisma.
Blow me down and Shiver me timbers! Colour Me Clueless if you didn't just quote Buddha AND Yoda in the same breath, just now.
Regardless of its source, it is THE universal truth.
You HAVE to get over your hang-up with this woman and move on. Your general state of happiness DOES NOT depend on one woman. Go out there and meet more women. Grow up and evolve.
From our conversations and what I've seen on your blog, you've figured out much of the theory...all you lack is the practise and application in real life.
There's three types of people in this world: Those that talk the talk (posers); those that walk the walk (mundanes); and those that walk the talk (uniques) Go out there and start walking the talk instead of merely contemplating about it!
*smiles* U've got a point there my man....gawd do I need to get much more face-time. All these ideas in my head and nary the time to test 'em out. It's been a pleasure just hanging out talking shop with you, man....
Anytime Nik...Anytime. I presume lunch is on you the next time around?
*grins* Anytime dude....Anytime.
posted by NiK! at
2:13 PM
