Hiatus ?!

I know, I know,

I've been away for quite some time.

I actually did NOTHING at work last week.

I came in for 5 workdays, surfed the net the whole day long, and went back around 8 p.m. It's not that I didn't BEG for a job or any mundane task to do from my Assistant Managers (A.M.), but they said that there was no work to be passed on to me.

So there I was, day in, day out, sitting at my cubicle, surfing entertainment during office hours.

How fuckin mundane and pointless can my existence get any more ?!

I can't even get passed a mundane task to be passed to me at my workplace in an industry I don't even want to be in !

Everytime these kinda things happen to me, I question why I even bother to come to work everyday anyway ?

Why the fuck am I doing this job if I don't enjoy it ?

Is it enough to do this job JUST to make my parents happy ?

Just so they can show off amongst their friends when they 'namedrop' the prestigious name of the company I work for?

What about ME ?

What about what I WANT TO DO for the rest of my fucking life ?!

How long do I have to 'kow-tow' to my parents ?

Is this what I really want to do for the next 30 yrs of my life ?

For fuck's sake I don't know what the correct answer is anymore..... I've lost my sense of being, the reason for living...the nexus to my existence......

I don't even know why I come to work anymore these days ?

To please my parents ?

To learn about the stock market ?

To learn about investment knowledge ?

Etc ?

How do fuck am I supposed to do that if my AM's refuse to give me bloody work ?!!!

Damn do I need to go on holiday!

:-(