F-E-A-R

The Litany Against Fear

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

Bene Gesserit Mantra, the Dune Saga, Frank Herbert, 1965

The excerpt above is taken from my favourite sci-fi book ever: The Dune Saga written by Frank Herbert. If J.R.R. Tolkein is considered the Father of Fantasy with his voluminous Lord of the Rings Saga, I consider Frank Herbert his sci-fi counterpart; and thus the Father of Sci-Fi.

Granted, other people might disagree with me and claim other sci-fi greats such as Isaac Asimov or some other legendary sci-fi writer holds the right to be called the Father of Sci-Fi. Yet I seriously believe the depth and richness of Herbert’s works borders on the insane in terms of detail and well thought out environs.

IMHO Tolkien is the only one worthy of challenging him in terms of world building, and how much detail he has figured out for his space opera cast.

Anyway what does this passage have to do with today’s post?

Well….I am living in fear right now.

Adrenaline is coursing thru my veins, putting my brain on a constant high and my body permanently in a fight/flight position. I’m sweating cold bullets, and looking to and fro like a cornered animal.

Why all the stress and fear?

It’s work related and involves a big report that I’m supposed to present by Monday night. (Let’s not go into details lest I bore you all).

But Fear is good. It reminds me that I’m still alive. It reminds me to be constantly on guard.

It’s just that it’s tiring to be in this state for the next number of days until the event occurs.

I remember the last time I was in fear as much as like now. It was to give a presentation to a group of peeps.

I was having heart palpitations, frog in my throat, washing machine stomach, and I could barely take in a solid breath…just shallow breaths like a drowning rat. Sweating cold bullets like crazy. My vision started blurring.

Damn….what a ride!

After the presentation I just felt sated. Like I just came in a torrent of passion. Relaxed and doped up like high on weed. I gave my all and the fear pushed me to finish the presentation.

It wasn’t the best presentation in the world. Sure I made a lot of mistakes. Sure I couldn’t answer the Q&A parts.

The key is I faced my fear. And that’s what matters most.

'Cos after that encounter, it prompts your body ready the next time another challenge which scares the shit out of me.

Face thy fear. And once it has passed. There shall only be me. Like a rock proudly protruding against the beating waves on a beachfront.

Hehehe…the adrenaline is driving me loopily lyrical I guess!

;-p