Sabbatical

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

May the New Year bring you Joy & Prosperity

I'm taking a week & a half holiday away from the office and everything work related
to enjoy a blissful interlude in the great outdoors.

Penang, Melaka, JB, S'pore

Here I come!

Come back after the New Year for your regular dose of hilarity, male chauvinistic comments, and eccentric insights.

;-)

Film Review: King Kong

Kong is THE ULTIMATE MAN.

Yeah....you read that right the first time around. King Kong is the epitome of manhood. He signifies what every man deep down in his heart of hearts yearns to be one day:

Wild. Untamed. King of the Jungle.

No matter whatever anyone says to you, do not be fooled; for King Kong, the film by Peter Jackson is NOT an action-adventure movie but at its heart, a moving rom-com tale of unrequited love, and the modern hazards that stands in the way of two people (or in this context woman and beast) from ever being together; no matter how strong the feelings for each other are.

I kid you not. Stop laughing those people in the back row! ;-p

Despite being a three hours and a half extravaganza, Peter Jackson has managed to craft an intriguing rip-roarin ride from start to finish that gradually begins to get more frenetic in terms of action and pacing as the minutes tick by. I barely noticed the hours passing by due to the masterful way Jackson wove this tale of adventure, betrayal, love lost and conquered. It’s bound to make a grown man cry out in ecstasy (Kong vs. T-Rex rules!) and shed a tear at the same time (Kong vs. WW1 planes = unfair).

From the gritty streets of 1933 Depression Era New York, we get transported to the wild seas onboard the sea ship Venture; to the ancient untamed ruins of Skull Island with its Uruk-Hai-like savage natives; and later to the prehistoric jungle on the Island where wild ancient beasts and monstrous terrors roam the earth. (Brontosaurus CGI = sucks, Velociraptors and T-Rex CGI rendering = superb!)

Kudos must go to Andy Serkis (the guy that acted out Gollum’s facial expressions, chilly cat-like voice and body mannerisms in LotR) who again did a bang-up job on King Kong and made the character come to life. Despite not having any dialogue, you could feel Kong’s majestic presence literally jump off the screen and mystify you in its wake.

King Kong's Mating Tip#0
Practice Makes Perfect

Like eating a banana, no one gets it correctly on the first try.
Dare to fail and always remember to get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.

When my mate told me that Kong wouldn’t show up until the first hour into the movie, I was mad with anger. WTF?? I paid good money to be cheated by some hyped up, year-end-extravaganza, and all the media hoopla again?? Hollywood sucks!!!

But my Hollywood-unbelieving soul was appeased this time around thanks to the magic of Peter Jackson and his Weta Workshop team of Christmas elves (I tell you, besides spending the past 2 yrs working on Narnia, they still had enough manpower to render the superb CGI on Kong….now that’s a hardworking team indeed! I guess that explains why Aslan and most of the Narnia CGI looks SO crap in comparison).

This is a master storyteller at work here, rendering the shots of grime-infested Depression-era New York so convincingly beautifully that it takes your breath away. I never thought I’d say that about grime-infested cities before; P.J. managed to capture the hustle and bustle of those early NY days where industry was just starting up and people infested every corner of the city. Life was hard indeed due to the economy being in the doldrums but people did what they could to survive. He made that era come to life and made you think what it was like to live in those hard times when you didn’t know when your next paycheck was going to be and the only meal for that day depends on the availability of food at the nearest shelter.

From NY, we jump to life on the high seas aboard the sea ship Venture. Our cast of characters grows from the manic-energy driven Jack Black, his trusty long-suffering assistant Colin Hanks; the waif-like beauty Naomi Watts, and the sleepy, dopey-looking Adrien Brody; to include Jimmy, the castaway junior shipmate who’s out to make a name for himself in the name of adventure, Captain Englehorn the slimy captain of the Venture, and Hayes, his black second in command.

All is not well indeed on the sea ship Venture as the slimy Captain Englehorn played convincingly by Thomas Kretschmann, seems to indicate a more sinister agenda is afoot behind the scenes. Evan Parke as Hayes, the black second in command however is all heart and the straight guy who’s out to take care of the people under him; especially Jimmy, the young ship mate played by Jamie Bell (that prancin’ ballet lovin teen of Billy Elliot fame). Also memorable is Kyle Chandler, as Bruce Baxter, the leading man for Jack Black’s movie, which reminds you of the Hollywood heroes of pulp fiction and black and white movies of yore. Yes, he comes with that trademark spit curl, big manly jaw, and brooding mysterious eyes, ladies (which must have been suavely smooth in those olden days, but just dated and cheesy these days…give me Brad Pitt any day of the week please!) ;-)

As the cast grows in size, so does the depth of the story and the frenetic pace. After the slow burn of setting things up in New York and revealing each character’s motivation for embarking upon the trip; the ball starts rolling and the pace quickens from the moment they gets beached on the jagged rocks of Skull Island.

The landing party of filmmakers, actors and actresses that embarks upon the shores of Skull Island gets attacked by the savage men of the island and long story short; the beautiful Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) gets served up to King Kong as a sacrificial gift.

King Kong’s Mating Tip #1
Attraction isn’t a Choice

You don’t choose whom you feel wild animal attraction for. It just happens within moments of meeting each other. It’s that X-factor; that unexplainable attraction women like to call chemistry.

It doesn’t help either if you’re captured or bound up as a sacrifice by the savage men of Skull Island as a gift to your significant other!

Tis’ the season for loving and giving indeed,eh? ;-p

Captain Englehorn, followed by a search party of shipmates including Hayes and Jimmy return to the island with Adrien Brody, Jack Black and Kyle Chandler in tow to go rescue Ann Darrow within 24 hours.

Cue rampaging herds of brontosaurus’ (brontosaurii??), hunting packs of velociraptors, some opportunistic wetasaurus (get the homage to Weta there?), and three hungry T-Rex versus King Kong; and you have a spectacularly wild rip-roarin ride from the moment the search party stepped off the extended bridge built by the savage natives onto the wilderness of Skull Island.

King Kong’s Mating Tip#2
Be a typical MAN
Ignore your loved one when she offers you affection
For Tension & Anticipation prolongs Attraction

Despite not having a word of dialogue thru out the movie; Andy Serkis, Peter Jackson and his Weta team managed to convey Kong’s manliness SO convincingly that I choked back a little tear in the presence of such a huge manhood. ;-p

Case in point: Kong just killed three rampaging T-Rexes with his bare hands, all in the name of love and saving the damsel in distress from danger.

What does he do when Ann Darrow shows her gratitude when she realizes it’s safer to stick with Kong her protector than try to run around Skull Island barefoot?

Kong just turns his back on her, sniffs in arrogance and gives her the cold shoulder. What a MAN’s MAN! ;-p

And when she concedes defeat and admits yeah..the man’s right after all (I told you so!), Kong simply grabs her and puts her on his shoulder as he whisks her away to relative safety and security. (You’re my beyatch now! Kong go bring u to pretty waterfall by sunset).

The interplay between Ann Darrow and Kong is a pretty tricky thing to pull off indeed. Here’s an intelligent New York gal who’s desperate for food and money; yet how can you convincingly make her fall in love with such a primal, wild, beast like Kong? A huge kudos has to be heaped upon Naomi Watts for playing the character so convincingly and bringing her to life. All I could remember of the old incarnation of Ann Darrows from the black and white movie and the 70s remake was they screamed out loud in fear. A lot.

Naomi Watts however (who reminded me of Nicole Kidman a lot in a few of her close up shots in NY) added a layer of playfulness to her character. The ‘Broadway stand-up-comic’ show she put up for Kong in order to “get” to him was a genius turn indeed. When you can’t actually communicate to your beau using words…what better way to do so than using body language and facial expressions, non?

King Kong’s Mating Tip#3
Action Speaks Louder than Words

After battling T-rexes all day in the name of love; what better way to tell the woman of your dreams how you feel about her than by a cascading waterfall with the view of a beautiful sunset in the background?

All I need to do now is go find three T-rexes to wrestle to the ground and prove my worthiness the next time I go out for a date. ;-p

That scene by the waterfall by sunset between Ann Darrow and Kong was “beautiful”. It reminded me of the times when I used to watch Disney movies as a kid and would act all manly and sh1t, by choking back my tears during those oh-so weepy finales that Disney manages to make into a proven formula for all their movies.

Of course, the real world HAD to invade upon the lovebirds’ idyllic retreat as Adrien Brody’s Jack Driscoll character manages to overcome the wild perils of Skull Island and reach Ann Darrow to cart her away to safety.

Cue frenetic chase scenes through wild undergrowth and dusky caverns, with Kong in tow, and Engelhorn’s dastardly crew in wait to capture majestic Kong, the King of the Jungle and 8th Wonder of the World (as Jack Black’s hammy character puts it).

The capture scene was SO heart wrenching that my heart gave a small flutter as the inevitability of it all came crashing upon my consciousness and the screen faded to black.

In my humble opinion, the movie should have ended there and then. Poignantly poetic and sad like most Shakespearean tragedies.

In true Hollywood fashion however, there MUST ALWAYS BE a third act. And it was tacked upon like the cheap two-dollar whore it was. (Imagine the last 30 minutes of Pearl Harbor when they went on a last vengeance mission, which was pointless and felt unneeded for the story’s purposes).

So we fast forward to a few months later. Kong is now a sideshow act for Jack Black’s nefarious ends in good ol Noo-Yak. Adrien Brody’s Jack Driscoll is working off-Broadway. Naomi Watt’s Ann Darrow is now just another showgirl. And everyone’s unhappy.

It takes Kong going on rampage for each character to realize their true purpose.

Jack Black’s Carl Denham finally realizes all the fame and money in the world can’t make up for the lives of friends he’s lost on that fateful trip to Skull Island.

Naomi Watt’s Ann Darrow realizes she’s actually in love with Kong and she’s the only one that can stop his rampage.

Adrien Brody’s Jack Driscoll realizes that he’s actually in love with Ann Darrow and it’s time he does something about it. (Too late dude…Kong’s in town!)

And Andy Serkis’ King Kong realizes that he’s too proud and majestic a beast to be shackled and doped up by a money making capitalist as a freaky sideshow act. He’s mad, bad, and in need of some lovin’ y’all!

King Kong's Mating Tip#4
Emotion creates "Motion"
When all else fails, throw a big-bad sulk

I know, I know, it’s kinda childish advice; but sometimes when your woman’s mishebavin, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and lay down some rules y’knowhatumsayin?

I’m not saying you should go primal beatdown on your woman or anything (god forbid!) but playing the emotional card sometimes, just needs to be done.

Cue multiple mayhem scenes in downtown New York (why is it when any destruction occurs in NY it HAS to occur in Times Square??) until that fateful iconic image of Kong on top of the Empire-State-like building, being shot at by a bevy of WW1 fighter jet planes.

That last scene on top of the building reminded me somewhat of Jack & Rose’s scene near the end of Titanic when he was asking her to hold on for dear life and not let his sacrifice go to waste. Only this time it wasn’t scrawny, floppy haired, Leonardo Dicaprio doin the weepy sacrificing but the manly man: Kong.

King Kong's Mating Tip#5
If she’s REALLY the One, then by all means go ALL-IN, my son!

Kong gambled EVERYTHING at that one chance of meeting Ann Darrow again (granted wreaking havoc in the middle of NY is a tad too barbaric for the modern man’s liking but I digress).

He made the ultimate sacrifice by giving his life in return for that short meeting, but I reckon in the last moments, with his dying breath, Kong died happy knowing he gambled everything for that one moment and it paid off.

Of course I’m not advocating you go out and do the same of course, but sometimes if she’s REALLY worth it, then by all means do everything you can to get her, mate

In the end, Jack Black’s parting words was apt in summing up the whole sad end to the affair:

Twas’ Beauty that killed the Beast. It was fated from the moment they met.

So in summary, to all you men folk out there: Go and watch King Kong and experience what it’s like to be a REAL man. And bring your woman along for her to wonder what the savage, primal, force inside you would be like once unleashed!

To those men still unattached by a dastardly woman in their life, go and watch it anyway and revel in the glory of being a man’s man. Hopefully the movie would give you enough cojones’ to grab that woman you’ve been eyeing for a long time but just been lacking the balls to approach. (The writer is not responsible for any emotional, physical, nor legal mishaps that may come from you fulfilling your inner manhood). ;-p

In closing, Yes(!), this exuberant review of the manly man movie King Kong was INDEED written, “under-the-influence”. Hence my propensity to ramble on about everything and anything, and a tendency to see something behind the movie’s message which actually isn’t there!

;-)

Film Review: The Chronicles of Narnia; The Lion, The Witch & the Wardrobe

Narnia in my humble opinion was... underwhelming.

So much hype has been surrounding it from the multipart making-of teasers online by Weta Workshop, to its glorious, full color trailer, to the media bandwagon harping about it in the print media and on TV .

Yet it somehow manages to disappoint.

If you were expecting another Lord of the Rings…you’re wrong.

If you were expecting something akin to Harry Potter…close, but no cigar.

I won’t go into the full story since I’m sure you’ve read about it all through the media hoopla for the past few weeks. Instead I’ll go over why I think it’s not up to par with the other fantasy greats of recent memory.

The weapons and creature design are flawless; I have to credit Weta Workshop (of LotR fame) full marks for that. The CGI on the other hand was dodgy in a few places especially when rendering the kids against a green screen environment.

C’mon man….this isn’t your Grandma’s Panavision!

Cough up some money Disney Corp for fcuk’s sake. The CGI scenes where the kids were standing on the mountaintop watching the rest of Narnia before them was SO dodgy it looked like it came from those old 1980s movies. The CGI rendering was so different in colour from the actors that you have the “pop-up effect” where you subconciously KNOW they are actually just standing in front of the green screen while the animators would add in the background later. (which didn’t look too good, hence the pop-up or tacked on feeling)

The kids acting were passable, yet not as powerful as the kids from Harry Potter. When you see Ron, Hermione or Harry on screen for example, you believe that you’re actually seeing Ron, Hermione or Harry. The child actors from the HP films owned their characters; made it theirs; and added new dimensions to them. For the Narnia kids however, it just feels as though the kids were going through the motions and filling up tired stereotypes. The older brother acted like a leader, the third child actor the spoilt brat; big sister is the feminine matriach, and lil’ kid is the mischievous, adventurous one. The operative word here being ‘acted’.

I never felt at any moment as though these kids believed in what they were acting and making their characters come to life. Nowt.

Even the war scenes had NO danger to it. It just felt (again) as though everyone was just going through the motions…swinging the sword left and right, cutting through air (where the creatures will be CGI’d later into frame). There was no grand sweeping arc of the battlefield ala Kingdom of Heaven. No frenetic cuts of action as we jump from one character to the other and see how they were each handling the tide of the battle ala LotR.

This being a Disney movie, of course there was no sight of blood or gore. But even besides that, I think the battle scenes could have been structured and paced better to elicit much more emotion out of the audience.

I reckon the main problem with Narnia is it has no heart. The story has no heart.

Yep. Kinda weird comment to make for a movie adapted from a series of books, I know. But it just felt empty to me. The newbie director, Andrew Adamson (of Shrek 1 & 2 fame) couldn’t manage to create a great spectacle of the whole affair ala Peter Jackson, even with the Weta guys at his disposal. He didn’t manage to evoke much emotion out of the kids to make us believe that they were actually in any danger.

Tilda Swinton, as the Witch Queen also looked hammy in her role and stiff when delivering her lines. After her superb turn in last year’s Constantine, I expected this movie to put her more in the Hollywood spotlight…but to no avail.

In closing, Narnia falters as the end-of-the–year-extravaganza it has been much hyped to be…but it makes a nice kid’s tale to bring the children along to during the school holidays on a boring Sunday evening.

How to Be Popular in Life

This article is about how to be popular at work; but I humbly believe that these principles can also be used in every other section of your life. Simply being friendly, empathic and true to yourself (honesty) are the basic blocks for a great rapport with anyone in this world (yes even those unfriendly, pessimistic, grinches). Happy Trying!

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Originally published on MSN.com as "Be Popular at Work: Four Steps By Kate Lorenz"

For years we've heard that it's more important to be respected than liked. Yet study after study is proving conventional wisdom wrong -- finding instead that the road to success is more often a series of popularity contests.

Research at Columbia University shows that jobs, pay raises and promotions are more apt to be awarded based on a worker's charisma than on his or her academic background or professional qualifications.

Outplacement firm Challenger, Gray and Christmas found that during corporate downsizings, hiring and firing decisions boil down to how well people are liked by their supervisors. "It's not enough just to do a good job; you have to be likeable in the eyes of your employer," says company president James Challenger.

The good news is likability is a skill that can be learned. After two years and a quarter million pages of research, Tim Sanders, leadership coach at Yahoo! and author of "The Likeability Factor," has unlocked the secrets to having a magnetic personality.

"When people encounter you, they subconsciously ask themselves four questions that determine your likability or 'L-Factor'," Sanders explains. "First, they seek friendliness. Then, they ask themselves if you are relevant to them. Next, they ponder whether you have empathy for them. Finally, they ask themselves if you are 'real' -- that is, authentic and honest. If the answers to those four questions are affirmative, you receive a high Likeability Factor."

To up your "L-factor," Sanders offers a four-step process:

Step One: Increase Your Friendliness
Your friendliness is a function of your ability to communicate openness and welcome to others. Make an effort to greet people cheerfully, smile often and adopt a friendly mindset that you communicate through positive body language and words.

Step Two: Raise Your Relevance
Your relevance has to do with your connection to others' interests, wants and needs. The more relevant you are, the more people like you. Relevance has three levels:

Contact. The odds are, likability will increase with "functional distance," such as sitting next to someone at a party or living nearby.

Mutual Interests. Having common interests or experiences makes people feel validated and generates a sense of community and personal respect.

Value. Relevance is strongest when the value you offer meets another person's wants and needs. This produces positive attitudes in the person's mind and contributes to your allure.

To become more relevant, find ways to connect with the interests and needs of others. Know what they're passionate about outside of work. Be aware of their emotional needs and willing to respond to them.

Step Three: Show Empathy
Your empathy reflects your capacity to see things from another person's point of view and to experience his or her feelings yourself. When you connect with someone's feelings, and they believe you're "with them," it delivers a psychological hug. Ask yourself, do I:

*Know how that person is feeling about his or her life situation these days?

*Understand what it must feel like to perform the person's tasks day after day -- be it caring for an elderly relative at home or managing a heavy workload?

*Share the same emotions about key issues?

By making yourself more emotionally available, your connection with people -- and your likability -- will grow dramatically.

Step Four: Keep It Real
Realness is consistency between your beliefs and actions. To be true to yourself and others, you need to:

*Do what you want to be doing in life.

*Live with purpose.

*Commit to the principles of your work.

*Be the same person on the outside as you are on the inside.

*Be direct and honest with others.

The more you live by your values, the more your perceived realness will elevate. Conversely, if people decide you're not real, they will discount your friendliness, relevance and empathy -- and probably dislike you.

"Basically, likability comes down to creating positive emotional experiences in others," Sanders concludes. "When you make others feel good, they tend to gravitate to you."

Do You Have a Crush?

Have you always wondered about that special someone?

You know that crush of yours that you've been madly deeply fantasizing on for the past few moments?

Well, wonder no more.

Check out if there's more in store in the future for you and your crush by clicking on:

http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/515629617

Stop dreamin and start lovin

Tis' but a click away!

;-)

Where To Pick Up Women

By Jackson Morris (Copyright © 2005, Seduction Insider.)

If you are looking for the next big pick up joint to meet ladies (or gentlemen, for our female readers) then set your alarm clock, make a list and grab some detergent. The latter three components will actually be places you will go to meet women. This is an excellent list, and it is no secret to the rest of the world. So if you want to save money, get your chores done and still meet gals, this is the list.


SET YOU'RE ALARM CLOCK
Coffee shops, you guessed it, are the "bars" of today. There are so many coffee franchises and privately owned cafés that it is virtually impossible to not pass one daily. You don't even have to drink coffee to enjoy the natural social setting it provides. The first thing you have in common with people you meet there is schedule. Unless you have a random job or work from home, most people go to the same coffee shop around the same time everyday. If you have a little flexibility go to a new coffee shop for a week but don't show up at the exact same time each day, you'll start to see the regulars.

Three things make the coffee shop prime ground; everyone is sober, it is bright daylight, and people are dressed for work with no friends around. The last fact is so important to meeting women. Wait until they are alone. A woman surrounded by friends is a woman surrounded by opinions. You have a much better chance at getting a woman's attention if you are not competing for attention with either her friends or coworkers. Broad daylight is great because it evens the playing field visually and physically. If you're both in line you can see her shape, how tall she is, how she walks etc. As I see a woman approaching or leaving the coffee shop, I call this the "runway shot". Stay tuned, I will tell you a couple of great ways to approach her with only a few moments to make your move in Central Perk.


MAKE A LIST
Let's all go to the grocery store. Now I will assume for a minute that not everyone reading this lives in bustling metropolis where there are more than three major grocery outlets near their home. If you have only one Piggly-Wiggly or Kroger within a few miles, that is okay, because that means all the girls including the married ones have to go there too.

Much like the king of the jungle, the best time to go hunting is when feeding is best. The coffee shop is breakfast time, and the grocery store is dinner time. Most single women go to the grocery store after work during the week. There is certainly a contingent that goes on the weekend, but we have better things to do than be in a store on a nice Saturday afternoon. Besides you will be doing laundry shortly anyway.

While shopping take your time and use a shopping cart. She can see everything in your cart and figure out if you're single too. If you have diapers and tampons in the basket, you're probably not a good catch. If you have veggies, beer and a copy of Men's Health, she can figure it out. I have personally found that if you can shop like the French, buying your meals each day, your ratio goes up considerably. That sounds like a lot of shopping, but think about it. If you shop daily, you will throw away less food, eat healthier and increase your exposure. Many of the same principles apply; you're both sober (hopefully), you're in a well lit arena with no friends/colleagues present. Like the cafés, you can see how women are dressed and if they have a wedding ring on.

*Best time to grocery shop; any weekend evening. If a woman is shopping for groceries on a Friday or Saturday night, she probably does not have a boyfriend or a date.


GRAB SOME DETERGENT
While grocery shopping on one of your trips make sure you pick up some detergent to do your laundry. If you really, really want to get your laundry done and not meet women then take your laundry in Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday morning or afternoon. This is statistically the least congested time at the public Laundromats. Places vary by region, but if you live in a singles rich community then the best time to go is Thursday night (see above), or either a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. You will both be stuck in the low budget laundry labyrinth for at least an hour to check each other out and probably not at your best dressed for either of you (bonus). You can see what she likes to read, or if she is a cell phone gossiper, or if she just watches whatever is on the complimentary TV set.

I suggest showing up wearing something "cool", if you look better than she does, how could she not be flattered that you chose to hit on her? It shows you take pride in your appearance even when you're out of clean boxers. Bring a book or magazine and avoid your cell phone in front of her. You don't want to be the cell phone pagan poser.


WHO WHAT WHERE
Now you know "where" to find the "who", you merely need the "what". Remember, in all three of these situations, you're both sober and alone in a well lit environment, this means even ground. So it is time to step up and be a man because she expects that, and that is your job.

At the coffee shop, if you see a gal often and you exchanged glances and smiles and you feel the time is right to make the move, be bold about it. Be patient also, try to get in line one morning a few people ahead of her. When you buy your coffee, buy her cup too. Most places know what everyone drinks, if not just give the guy five bucks and tell him to keep the change from her drink, he will be glad to do it. Tell him not to tell her until you're out of line. This will increase the opportunity for her to thank you outside, and she will want to. Whether you buy the coffee or just say, "Hello". The closer is this, after you introduce yourself and ask her name, ask her to join you for coffee tomorrow. She already drinks it and she is on that schedule. You just made the most convenient date you could for her. Again, your best bet to do this is only after you've both been exchanging glances and possibly casual remarks over a period of days.

At the grocery store, if you really want to make a great move, and you're sure who you want to hit on, buy a single flower (while you still have shopping to do), go up to the girl and say, "Hi my name is_______. I think you're a doll. I still have shopping to do, but this flower is for you. Maybe while you're shopping, you'll consider me making or taking you to dinner." The fact that you would still be strolling through the store will drive her crazy with intrigue. (No it doesn't...this one move reeks of desperation...please ignore the writer. --NiK) Women love mystery, chivalry and confidence. This one move has all three, but to work it really, really needs the confidence. When it is time to close, ask her three things; what kind of food don't you eat? What is your phone number? What is the best time to call? You are done.

At the Laundromat, do not approach her while she is loading or unloading the machines, this is intrusive. Wait till she sits down or goes outside or basically looks bored waiting for the cycle's end. If she is a mess, tell her she looks great, if she looks great and has perfume that you can smell, tell her she smells nice. Say, "hello" and make the conversation short, remember you're both trapped there for a while so don't overstay your welcome. She probably lives in the vicinity of the Laundromat, so suggest that you two meet at a venue nearby that she would be familiar (comfortable) with.

*At the Laundromat I suggest writing your number down on a piece of paper before you approach her. When it goes well, tell her that you have done so to make it convenient for her. A girl that really wants to go out with you will call or tell you right then that she wants you to call her first, thus giving her number in return. (Again, kinda reeks of desperation. Just relax and let the conversation flow naturally, don't pre-prepare your number or anything. Let it be natural and give/write down your number ONLY when asked-lah--NiK)

We covered breakfast, dinner, lunch and laundry for the week's schedule. Multiple responsibilities in your everyday life are not absent of opportunity. These are things and places you are already incorporating in your everyday life. Now the next time you need a loaf of bread or a caffeine fix or you just need some clean jeans, remember that; the girls always do.

Blow Jobs Reduces Breat Cancer Risk

I received this post in my office inbox today and thought it was just too hilarious to not post up here and educate my readers! ;-p

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Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women
Thursday, October 2, 2003 Posted: 9:19 AM EDT (1319 GMT)

(AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.

Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.

In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurance of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.

"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurance of breast cancer in women."

The University researchers stressed that,though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision. "Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."

The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research.

In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute. Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings."This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said. Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.

"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said. Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data.

The reasearch consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.

"The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause."

Note-This was later revealed to be just a hoax which has been circulating the internet and ppl's office inboxes since October 2003. :-(

Last Night

There comes a time in every MAN's life, where there's a TURNING POINT.

Learning how to ride a bike; Asking a girl out; Damn it.....even something as insane as watching the woman you fancy go off and sleep with one of your best friends in a drunken passionate affair. (to the full knowledge of the other 30 office people at the same bachelor party)

Isolation

I just don't know what to feel anymore.

Being dazed high on weed at the time of the incident..... I went from confusion, to anger, to pain, to realization, and finally......acceptance.

And now I feel NOTHING.

I guess its much easier to move on with your life if you feel nothing.

Shit happens. Life goes on. Obladi...Oblada and all that crap.

We're all adults. So does that makes it easier for us to be SO blai'se about it?

Monday morning sure is going to be interesting at the office as it's at the top of everyone's mind, front and center; yet as adults we are taught to be civilized about it and lie to ppl's faces as if nothing happened.

You live and you learn. Life are made up of turning points.

And last Friday night was a huge turning point in my life.

Here's to the NEW me.

Bon yovage!

When Mr. Right turns out Wrong.

Originally published on Msn.Match.com as Attracted to the wrong guys?
By Margot Carmichael Lester

Is your “type” the type who’s emotionally unavailable? Do you find his irresponsibility irresistible? Is it hard to deny a guy with a wandering eye? If you find yourself repeatedly attracted to a Mr. Right who’s all wrong, it could be more than just bad luck.

Maybe you’re dating the wrong guys so you can avoid making a commitment. Perhaps you’re picking poorly so you have an excuse to break up with him before he can break up with you. Or could it be that you enjoy the drama or attention that comes from serial break-ups?

Whatever your reason, you’ve gotten into a pattern. Now that you’ve admitted it, you have to decide if you want to continue keeping true love at arm’s length, or if you want to embrace your issues and start dealing with them.

If you choose to deal, you can break these bad habits with three not-so-secret weapons, says Los Angeles psychotherapist Sheila Newton, Ph.D., MFT:

- Self-awareness
- Self-validation and acceptance
- Self-confidence

Step 1: Becoming self-aware
Start changing your patterns by being honest with yourself about what really motivates you. “Be explicit about what you really need,” Newton suggests. For instance, think about why you’re dating: For fun, for a diversion or for a long-term relationship? Do you love the thrill of the hunt, or do you prefer being hunted? Do you ignore red flags because you want to keep the relationship going? Being clear on these points is crucial.

“If you’re looking for a mate, but you date men who are just in it for fun, you’ve got a problem,” Newton says. “If you like being pursued but make the first move to ‘help it along’, you may end up attracting someone who prefers to be pursued, too.”

And if you try to keep relationships going when they’d be better off ended, you’re wasting your time. “A relationship’s not worth saving if it drives you nuts or pushes your buttons,” Newton says.

Step #2: Finding self-validation and acceptance
Next, the key to learning from your past is to review what worked in your past and what didn’t. Don’t beat yourself up about it, though. Instead, be glad you’ve got it figured out and then set to changing your behaviors.

Undertaking this kind of self-improvement can be tough to do alone. Friends and family might be able to help. “Ask close friends to give you feedback,” Newton says. They probably spotted that nasty pattern long before you did. And they’ve usually got some advice on how to break it. At the very least, most of them are willing to help.

“I had a buddy system with my friend Al,” recalls Marcie Dunn of Pittsboro, NC. “I gave him carte blanche to point out when I was falling back into bad behaviors. It really helped having someone calling me on it.” Got a deeper issue? Seek professional help.

Step #3: Summoning your self-confidence
Maybe the ultimate habit-breaker is learning to like yourself as you are. “So often, we’re focused on having the other person like us so we put on a façade that keeps us from being ourselves,” Newton says. “Instead, try being realistic. Don’t be afraid to say ‘This is who I am—take it or leave it.’”

How will this help you choose better guys? “If you know what you’re about, your instincts will react positively or negatively to people you meet,” Newton says. “Figuring out how to listen to your instincts is a great pattern-breaker.”

Self-awareness also builds confidence, which helps you avoid settling for less than you deserve. “Once you know where you’re coming from and where you want to go,” Newton concludes, “you’re much more likely to attract someone who brings out the best in you and gives you what you want and need.

Carrboro, NC-based writer Margot Carmichael Lester’s friends used to call her a“loon magnet” because of her ability to attract the wrong guys. She is the author of The Real Life Guide to Life After College.

Film Review: Just Like Heaven

Just Like Heaven is a perfect piece of rom-com fluff.

It doesn’t hold a candle to the rom-com greats such as When Harry Met Sally, or Notting Hill, nor Four Weddings and a Funeral; yet in its own special way, it has perfected the rom-com formula and followed it to a T.

It kinda feels like reading a Mills & Boon romance novel because you are actively aware that the director is following a set-up guideline of formulas; with just enough amount of each ingredient. Not too little, not too much…just perfect.

So you get one-cup mysticism (the Ghost like angle to the story), one-cup romance (Mark Ruffalo & Reese Witherspoon are great in bringing their roles to life), one-cup comedy (mainly thanks to supporting cast Jon Heder’s GREAT performance), all tied up in a pretty package with a big pink bow.

I heard from somebody (dunno if its true) that Mark Ruffalo used method acting to get into the role of David Abbot, the hero of the story who at the start is all crabby and depressed from a yet unexplained tragedy in the past. He comes to ‘Frisco for a new lease of life and ends up renting the apartment of the recently deceased Dr. Elizabeth Masterson (Reese Witherspoon).

Elizabeth however has no recollection of dying and when her immaterial form starts haunting David by popping up every few instances or so…wacky hijinks ensues followed by both characters gradually taking stock of the situation and eventually joining arms to help solve the mystery (in which the hero eventually falls in *love* with his ghostly roomie).

A little on the nonsense side as flimsy rom-com plot goes, but this Mark Waters directed movie is saved by the strong casting.

I used to joke about: How hard is it to method act as a lead in a rom-com anyway?

But in retrospect, I have to applaud Mark Ruffalo’s method acting. It felt like he channeled all the good vibes of Hugh Grant (minus the stuttering poncy British act Hugh’s got going for him) and John Cusack as past great rom-com leads and defined a new dimension for future rom-com leads to come (yes..I am definitely taking the piss here fellers…I mean how fcuking hard is it to be a male lead in a rom-com neways??). ;-p

His David Abbot has a certain vulnerability within him hidden deep under the brooding, depressed, social hermit. You know if this was real life, Mark Ruffalo’s character would be a social outcast who’d die in front of his TV from depression and O.D. on alcohol. But since this is a rom-com, we look at the world thru pink-tinted glasses and even the most socially inept hermit gets his girl in the end. Awwwww!

Reese Witherspoon is Reese Witherspoon like she is in every movie she’s ever made. I swear, besides her breakout movie Cruel Intentions and some other indie stuff she’s done like Alexander Payne’s Election; all her characters have been the same: The fast-talking petite blonde with the curvaceous figure that has a mind of her own despite her blonde-like appearance.

At the end of the day tho’, I have to admit both lead roles have great chemistry from the banter when they initially meet until the toothache-sweet ending. Their superb acting saves this film from ending up as the total mess it could have been.

Jon Heder, who broke out onto the scene through the sublimely cool MTV indie movie: Napolean Dynamite also saves this movie from being too cookie cutter cute or too mystically hogwash by playing the comedy relief. He plays Darryl, the quirky psychic bookstore clerk where Ruffalo’s character goes for help in figuring out why Witherspoon’s ghost is haunting him. His surfer dude-constantly high outlook creates laughs whenever he’s onscreen.

Donal Logue from the TV series Grounded For Life also plays the comedic role as Ruffalo’s psychotherapist (shrink) but his role isn’t as strong in terms of comedy viewpoint compared to Jon Heder’s. A few nice laughs here and there and Logue’s character only serves the role of tying up the story nicely.

In summary, Just Like Heaven is a perfectly formulated rom-com fluff that pales in comparison to the other rom-com greats of the past, yet achieves to be heads and shoulders above any of its recent competitors.

A nice first date movie to bring that significant other you’ve been secretly crushing on for months.