Terminal Breakdown

I had an epiphany the other day.

I realise that I haven’t been myself in quite awhile.

Getting confirmed as a permanent staff in January had put SO much pressure on me to perform and excel that I had practically stopped doing the stuff I loved.

I regularly come back around 9-10pm every working day.

I haven’t been to the bloody cinema to watch a movie in god knows how many months! (and I claim to be a film addict...sheesh!)

I have a huge stack of pirated DVDs and comic books (graphic novels for those adults that DON'T want to pretend that they’re STILL reading comics despite their increasingly ageing years) that I have YET to go thru.

I’ve missed episodes to SO many tv series that I promised I would follow religiously from the Amazing Race, to CSI, to Las Vegas to oh-the-mind-just-shudders at the thought of missing so much TV! ;-p

I haven’t been online in god knows how long that I’ve missed watching shedloads of movie trailers, stopped downloading mp3s and latest US tv shows.

I’ve given so many excuses to invitations from friends to club the weekend away (I’m just not in the mood or don't have the energy) that they’re starting to stop asking in the first place.

Heck, I can’t remember the last time I actually went out in the sun and felt it’s heat prickling my skin! Damn the office and its artificially air conditioned environs!

What the Fcuk has happened to me ??

Have I lost the plot to who I really am and turned into a *gasp**shudder* WORKAHOLIC ??

Or am I just evolving to my new environs and responsibilities, leaving behind my immature self and growing into a new ME with different interests and hobbies.

Whatever it is, it’s NOT a good development as I can feel every fiber of my being pulled apart and stretched to its finite ends. Every week is a five-day grind until the next weekend where I try to fit everything I want to do into 2 measly days.

I’m feeling unsatisfied. Unfulfilled. Empty.

I have a shorter fuse too these days and shout & curse given the slightest reason....

The holiday in Singapore helped release some tension and add humour and colour back into my life but after the rush of Invest Malaysia, I feel depleted and lethargic again.

Is it WORTH it to get paid lotsa MONEY to work overtime if you don’t have the bloody TIME to spend it in the end?

Is MORE MONEY worth losing your HAPPINESS ??

Only time will tell.

:-(

Invest Malaysia 2005

22nd March – 24th March : Invest Malaysia 2005

Been busy the whole week right after my Singapore trip; canoodling with foreign and local fund managers at Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Kuala Lumpur.

Commerce International Merchant Bankers Plc (the investment bank I work for) and Credit Suisse First Boston joint-held this week long media event whereupon foreign fund managers were introduced to Malaysia’s best and brightest companies whose shares are a likely candidate for their billions of dollars to invest in.

Being a part of the Equity Research team, this meant I was on my feet for three days straight going from corporate presentation after corporate presentation held hourly at mandarin Oriental’s convention area from 9 in the morn til’ 6 in the evening.

However, don’t discount us corporate types for just stuffy, boring accountants and finance graduates...we DO know how to let loose when the sun comes down as evidenced by the wild partying goin on in Passion /Poppy Garden during the second night of the seminar. CIMB booked the whole of Passion for the night and it was filled with fund managers and bankers alike, letting their hair down and loose to the strains of blues and jazz (i know, SO not the kinda music Passion would play, but the crowd was older so what the heck).

The lunchtime for all three days were also crowd pleasers with talks from Malaysian business luminaries such as Tan Sri Azman Mokhtar (I gave that a miss) to Tony Fernandez, Air Asia CEO (this guy really knows how to sell a product and is damn funny). The Instant Cafe Theater show on the third day though was a lackluster event since most of the jokes were localized using Manglish (Malaysian English) which was lost on most of the foreigners and ah-mo.

Band of Brothers

Neways, me and my peeps had a great time dressing up in our Italian silk suits with fine woven cotton shirts and silk ties plus matching jet black belt and shoes. It’s not every day we get to dress up and play corporate investment bankers!

;-p

Mer-Lion

The 18th-20th of March.

To any other Malaysian, it would mean the GP : Sepang weekend.

The only time every year when the F1 circus rolls into town and the whole nation gets high on F1 racing fever. Even if you are not F1-inclined, there's always lots of other frivolous fun to be had from multiple events being run in conjunction with the race during the weekend.

This year alone, we have multiple F1 themed events run all over the city from nightspots, to KLCC to Museum tours and the biggie : The Force of Nature Tsunami Concert.

For a Magic: the Gathering playing geek however, this weekend holds another special, far more important meaning, because it's the weekend when the creators of the game; Wizards of the Coast flies down south of Malaysia, to Singapore and holds an Asian Grand Prix tournament with 10 thousand USD on the line to be awarded to the Top 64 finishers.

So despite Boy II Men, Black Eyed Peas and Backstreet Boys (Kevin I love you! *jk*) rocking the streets of KL last Friday night, with a heavy heart I decided to give it a miss (sob, sob, g-bye Kevin....) and took the KTM train down to S'pore on Thursday night; with the hopes of claiming glory and winning the first place USD 2400 prize.

The Triad

The rest o' the Gang

Day 0, Friday the 18th of March 2005

Malaysia sent a contingent of 34 players down to Singapore and the bulk of the group took the same train I did on Thursday night (KTM's KL-JB-S'pore Midnight Express). I booked the night bunk tickets which reminded me of sleeping in a coffin despite it's 'large' space.

Neways the trip down by train was uneventful and we arrived safely on S'pores shores the next Friday morning. After breakfast at a regular S'porean coffeeshop (the Curry Laksa was superb btw with fresh cockles and prawns!), the Triad decided to get some shut-eye at our motel before registration session opens later in the afternoon. (turns out most of us couldn't get a good's night rest sleeping in the coffin-like bunk beds.)

After some rest, we all trundled around S'pore to our destination, the tournament site : SunTec Exhibition Center in a huge triad-like manner. Post-registration, some decided to loiter around the site to 'scout' what the competition would be playing for tomorrow's event while others like myself, decided to do a lil' sightseeing.

From what I saw on Friday alone, I gotta say S'poreans have more ORDER around the city compared to their Northern counterparts....us Malaysians.

People waited for the green light to signal before walking across streets (no jay-walking), cars slowed down or stopped and let everyone pass at zebra crossings (u'd get killed trying to pass if that zebra crossing was in M'sia for the lack of car driver's respect for pedestrians), and there was practically less cars on the streets!

That last point tho' might be due to cars being really, really expensive in S'pore while in M'sia, locally made National cars (our Protons & Peroduas) are dirt cheap (compared to foreign cars).

Neways, anticipation and strategic-thoughts ran high among the Triad as we wait to prove our mettle against the Japanese, Singaporean and other regional players in tmw's Day 1 of Grand Prix: Singapore.

Day 1, Saturday the 19th of March 2005

Everyone wakes up early and in time for the player's meeting before Round 1. Decks are sleeved up, randomized enough from multiple shufflings, and ready for action. We're all gagging for some card-action and wait with baited breath as the head judge rattles on the usual hoop-la about fair play, player decency, etc. etc. Once he ends his speech, Round 1 starts and players scramble across the hall for their tables.

We got a great turnout this weekend with 370 competitors from around the ASEAN region. The Japanese contingent brought along 35 players, while the others were a mix of Thais, Filipinos, Aussies and of course, the home team: S'poreans rounding up the bulk of the competition.

With 300+ people, this means a grueling 8 rounds of card play before they cut to Top 64 players to continue to Day 2 of GP: S'pore. Since one round (of a 'best of 3 games' against an opponent) takes at least an hour, that'll mean we gamers would be 'stuck' here in the exhibition hall practically the whole day. By our own choice. ;-p

Since I won a local Grand Prix Trial in KL a few months back, I have the benefit of a three-round bye (which means I forsake playing for the first 3 rounds and get rewarded a win instead). This allows me to spend the rest of the morning doing more sightseeing around the city.

In summary, I noticed this island state is *pretty* small indeed...nearly everything is within walking distance and if ur the outdoors type of person, walking about from one tourist attraction to another wouldn't be a problem. Of course S'pore city also offers efficient public transportation in the form of MRTs, taxis and buses.

Walking around the city some more, I noticed how bloody clean the place is!

There's no rubbish or litter strewn across the streets, no cracks on the pavement or vandalised amenities, no ditry drains with their dubious smells, damn even their back streets and alley ways are clean and I have not seen one sight of stray cats or dogs!

Just wtf are the S'porean Govt doing that Msia's Govt isn't ?

Side note: I got into conversation with a S'porean friend of mine later, and it turned out that their govt has induced really, really, tight law enforcement; that the island has been dubbed a Nanny State by some detractors.

Just imagine this: If caught littering, a S'porean is liable to be sentenced community service, picking up trash along the S'pore shore whereupon the perpetrator's closest friends and family are encouraged to come along and take pictures and makes jokes of the litter bug. Talk about over-enforcement, eh !

I prefer M'sia's more lax enforcement and our oh-SO-savage, chaotic cities any day of the week! ;-p

Neways, after lunch (and mucho sightseeing), we got back to do some gaming. Round 4 started and I ended up drawing the game with my Canadian opponent (who's teaching English in Japan) because we ran out of time. I won Round 5 resoundingly because my French opponent (who's working in China) because of his inexperience with his deck.

So at the end of Round 5, I have 4 wins and 1 draw. To make the cut to top 64 players (out of the aforementioned 370 players) I had to get two more wins out of the last 3 rounds of the day.

An EASY feat to be achieved right ?

After all, ur talking about the Scottish MtG 2002 National Champion here...this is gonna be a walkover innit?!

Well...let me tell u peeps out there a thing or two about a thing or two : OVERCONFIDENCE is the bane of players worldwide.

In retrospect, I gotta say I disrecpected my opponents in the next 3 rounds and was too overconfident of my chances of making Day 2 (and hopefully finishing in the money), that I didn't expect them to be THAT DAMN GOOD!

The Japanese chap in Round 6 decimated my board and beat me resoundingly.
"It's o.k. one down, that'll just mean I'll have to win the last two rounds...I can do this!" I said to myself as I shuffled up for Round 7.

60 minutes later and after drawing 16 lands in a row, you can see a beaten up , disillusioned ME sitting in the corner of the hall, cursing my bad luck for drawing land after land from my deck while my opponent beats me to death with his army of 1/1s (the Chess equivalent of PAWNS).

It's NEVER ur fault when you lose, is it?

It's always the deck's fault for giving u crap cards (err...who shuffled it in the first place?), or ur better opponent who top-decked the game winning card from the top of his library/deck, or even ur bad karma for jay-walking and littering the streets of S'pore last night as the locals look at you in annoyance. ;-p

At the end of the day, my Day 2 journey has ended there. My hopes of making a name of myself in this arena and finishing in the money was crushed because evn if I win the last round, it'd be hard to make Top 64 in a room of 370 players. So what did I do next ?

I played to have FUN.

Round 8 pairings came up and it turned out I was paired to play a Japanese GIRL.

Round 8 Chica

Now there's one thing u need to know about the game.

We DON'T get a lot of women playing this geeky fantasy based card game, so whenever we get matched-up against one ofthem, it's a treat. Yeah, I know...kinda sad and geeky innit ?

Most of us maladjusted social outcasts literally just fail to perform in the presence of women and therefore turn into smiling, blubbering idiots. I'd like to say now that I'm an upstanding pillar of society and recently admitted back into the living with a permanent job and a social life, I would be different..... yet the grinning idiot in the pic above begs to differ. ;-p

So YES, I proceeded to lose to the GIRL playing a far superior deck compared to mine as I was entranced the whole 60 minutes looking at her other assets. Yeah call me a male-chauvinist PIG now ladies if ur reading this, but I gotta say in defense, I'm ONLY a MAN and eventho' this pic couldn't show it, Ai, as the japanese player is called, had a TUBE-TOP on today JUST to ensure all the women-deprived gaming geeks lose their focus.

I didn't mind tho'! :-)

At the end of the day, only 6 Malaysians made Day 2 and the remaining 29 decided to have dinner and vent our frustations by doing some retail therapy and shedloads of midnight sight seeing.

I gotta say, Singapore authorities really know how to light their attractions effectively to make for some beautiful night-shots (I'll post them S'pore trip pics up on my Fotopages later when I have the free time).

Day 2, Sunday the 20th of March 2005

The Malaysians unqualified for Day 2 decided to spend the day being tourists and we headed down to Sentosa Island situated 30 mins away in the outskirts of S'pore City.

Pink Dolphin

There we proceeded to see a flurry of underwater life forms in their natural form at Underwater world, water tricks performed by pink dolphins, and pink mammals on the surf as we surveyed the topless sun-bathers on Sentosa's sun-kissed beaches.

I gotta say that last prospect would be the main reason for any return trips to Singapore! ;-p

Post-Sentosa, we headed back to Singapore's famous shopping district : Orchard Road and did lotsa retail-therapy to get over the sting of yesterday's losses. A stint in Bugis Junction (the S'pore equivalent of Petaling Street in Kuala Lumpur) led to mass buying of souvenir t-shirts and tacky jewellery (I can't resist those buddha-monk-like prayer-bead arm bands!).

side note: Last night as we were doing the regular tourist thing, I noticed that Singaporeans don't really have that much 'lepak' places in the city where they can hang out and just enjoy the company of each other ala their Northern counterparts. Malaysian cities are known for their lepak hang-outs from mamak stalls serving Indian fare, to Malay or Chinese side street stalls serving traditional favourites even up til 3 am in the morning.

In Singapore, due to the dearth in these hang-outs, regular places like McDonalds, KFC, Swensens and Starbucks have evolved themselves to take over this role and open late until 2-3 am in the morn with most of them having an open-air sidewalk cafe feel to their outlets.

Plus, 7-Eleven is damn thriving over here as well even at 3am in the morning, 'cos it's the only place in town where u can find hot (microwaved) food in the city at this late in the day.

It sometimes makes me wonder, if I opened a chain of side street burger stalls in S'pore ala the local Ramli Burger local side street vendors, I'd surely make a killing and become a millionaire within a heartbeat!

Of course, there the problem with the S'pore govt to consider as last I heard, side street burger vendors have been banned or are in hiding in keeping with S'pore's clean streets image.

Bollocks!

After an early dinner, the Triad re-converged (the highest placing for a M'sian was no. 16 followed by the next one in Top 32) and we all headed back to the train station for our train ride back home.

Malaysia beckons, and as we all drifted off to sleep in our coffin-like bunk beds, I bet we're all dreaming of those topless sun-bathers and relishing our next trip down south to Singapore!

;-p

Cityscape

Rollercoaster Thursday : Emotional Highs & Lows

Heh heh

WHAT a RIDE !

My god, today sure was a rollercoaster ride of emotions!

I went from the highest of highs, to the lowest of lows...from being happy and giddy to moody and depressed.... I bet it'd be awhile until a day like this comes along again.

And there's even a life lesson to learn from todays events !


As always, let's start with the good news, eh ?
;-p


Event 1 : About A Girl

So there I was at another boring Analyst Briefing with the same old, same old crowd of equally bored analyst who were forced to leave the confines of our oh-so-familiar offices (it's not as if we're tortured or anything, the briefing is after all in the posh Sunway Resort Hotel, so I should be griping less,non?) to cover a Healthcare stock and trying hard to find a spin to make the story "sexy" to the traders.

Since I wasn't expecting much, I of course decided to wear my worst shirt today and go with the unshaven-Wolverine-look.

Well, to my surprise, out of the 100+ ppl gathered that day, there in the middle of the hall stood this one, really, really, really sexy lady.

She stood out like a lighthouse beacon in a dark & foggy night; bedecked in a tight traditional kebaya which emphasized all her curves and petite frame.

"Hmmm...she doesn't look like a regular analyst since I haven't seen her at any other briefings before" I thought to myself.

So of course, being the regular hot-blooded male, I spent the rest of the briefing trying to think of ways to get her phone number instead of paying attention to the presentation (much to the consternation of my analyst friend, Sharizan)

Neways, long story short, after the briefing and the regular hoopla of chatting to Management over lunch, I finally picked up the courage to approach this hot-kebaya-bedecked chica as everyone was leaving and she was standing alone in the crowd.

Let’s just say I managed to introduce myself steadily (thanks David Deangelo for the great ideas on chatting up women!) but lost the plot midway and turned into a stuttering idiot (must’ve been her *soft* hand and voice as she introduced herself). I managed to pass on my business card (with “Call Me” written behind) but damn she gave me a *line* when I asked for hers: “I’m sorry but I don’t have any on me right now”

“Yeah right” I said to myself internally.

Externally, I just froze on the spot with no good comeback.

I smiled, said it was o.k. like a wuss, and walked away giving some lame excuse about how my company car was here, etc. etc.

U know what the irony is ?

I only managed to come up with a good comeback about two hours later as I sat in my office ruminating over the events. Something along the lines of: “I might have to run over some legal terms with you so do you have an office email address ?” in a deep macho baritone voice.

Doh!

Neways, there I was, high on the rush of adrenaline from doing something I would never had contemplated doing in my life before (chatting up a woman at a gathering just cos I thought she looked stunning); when I got a text on my phone (my business card has my h/p no as well.)

"YES !" I thought. She answered me back! Wooo-ho!

So there I was, doing my celebration dance in the company car and shouting like a madman (to the surprise of Abg Busu, the driver) and texting cocky-funny replies like mad.

Until the textee wrote back : “Who do you think this is ??!”

Turns out it wasn’t the hot chica I just gave my business card to, but Sharizan instead, my analyst partner in crime who was jealous ‘cos he ran out of cards and didn’t manage to give the hot chick his contact no. as well.

CIPET!!!! POTONG STIM SIUT!!!!!

Looking back tho’....I learned something new today. Meeting new ppl and chatting them up isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Even though the chica never called me back, today’s events gave me the confidence to continue chatting up ppl I find interesting in the future.

Here’s to a new, more confident, chatty NiK, eh !

;-p

Event 2 : The Perils of Being a Jerk or Learning when NO! Means NO!

*Sigh*

It HAD to happen sooner or later I reckon.

I was being TOO much of a jerk and should’ve stopped when my conscience told me to but no! I HAD to go and pester the Black Widow chica again.

Why?

I have no idea. Maybe I reasoned if I can’t make her like me, life would be so much easier for me if she hated me. Twisted psychosis isn’t it ??!

I must say unrequited lust can make a man do some pretty disgusting things indeed. Even things a normal person would not do in their regular character (don’t worry, i DID not go into psycho stalker mode and hang around her house 24-7 or sumthin like that).I just harassed her every now and then but sending her texts and e-mails that i KNOW would make her mad and bothered for the rest of the day.

Yeah...I know, I know...the work of a COWARD that doesn’t understand the meaning of NO! innit?!

Well, guess what, after the roller coaster *high* of chatting up a lady during lunchtime, I came back to the office and harassed Black Widow again by sending her an annoying e-mail for no apparent reason but to make her mad.

Turns out I got my wish after all.

She hated my guts enough by this point for not understanding NO! means NO! and finally called her boyfriend on me.

I got an Angry-Mad-Boyfriend phone call for the first time in my life.

Followed up by ANOTHER call promising a LOT of pain in the future if I continue my harassing ways, and an e-mail later in the day as a reminder that I should watch what I say in the future:

Date: Thursday, March 10, 2005 4:31:00 PM Subject: Re: Heyheyhey!

Message:
Mr. Nik,

Firstly only my close friends address me as Gus. I've been told by Bianca that she has made that fact aware to you. Why you choose to continue to call me Gus I have no clue why....but I take it as a sign of disrespect and continuous intent to taunt me from you. I have never been introduced to you as Gus...so please address me as Gustav.

Secondly if your jokes revolve poking fun at other people, then you should review your ways.I agree, you suck at telling jokes cos I read your email and i didn't find it a pinch amusing.

And for your information I am not playing a jealous boyfriend role, what makes my gurl unhappy makes me unhappy. I would like to add that you shall never adress my gf as honey either, cos she aint your honey in the first place and you aint exactly Don Juan to be going around calling girls that.

I know you may have a thing for her, but just deal with it bro, she aint never gonna look at you in the light that you wish she would. Reality bites (take a look in the mirror and weigh yourself from time to time to catch my drift).

I dont need you to buy me drinks, I can afford to buy my own.....all i ask is to keep your comments about Bianca to yourself, Your sarcasm and your jokes as well.

i dont intend to build a friendship with you, it has never interested me, but i respect the fact that you and Bianca are friends.

I will end here. I warned you, and like you said twice. Any shit i hear I apologize in advance in what i will do to you and mark my words..i aint all talk. I have a very short fuse.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day.

Note: All names have been changed to protect the real identities of the subject.

Shite!

I guess *kinda* deserved that.

Funny how the THREAT of a fist hitting my face finally made me REALIZE that what I was doing was misguided and wrong.

I guess VIOLENCE is the answer to some problems after all.

So I'm fcukin depressed at this point...i CAN'T believe a few hours ago I was happyhappy joyjoy and doing a mad celebration dance over the idea of a hot chica texting me.

Now my ears are still ringing from a Mad Boyfriend threatening insults at my face (don't u just fcukin hate it when u get that kinda call in the office and can't reiterate ur anger back?) and my ego is hurt from the realization that I'm a REAL jerk.

:-(

If there's a lesson to be learned from this debacle (ALWAYS the Optimist!), when a girl says NO! and means it, as a gentleman I should LISTEN and move on.

After all, there's more fishes in the sea...why grow sad and ponder over the one that got away (as I have SADLY to admit, done so over these past few weeks) . Instead I should be looking for new horizons and possibilities.

So in future, I should widen my insight and approach MORE women (like I did earlier today), instead of being hung up on only one and being a jerk to her once she's made it clear that she's not interested.

It's gonna hurt in the meantime tho' but I'll get over it.

Mind over Matter!

:-p

Event 3: Epilogue

“When the door of opportunity closes, another two doors open, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the ones which has been opened for us.”

So let’s review:
I was happy as a bird right around lunchtime from chatting up a lady (and then purportedly getting texts from her when it turned out to actually be my wicked friend pulling a prank on me). Then depressed as hell when Black Widow’s Angry-Mad BF called me up in the office and was threatening to beat my sorry ass into a pulp for continuing to harass his GF.

Now...nearing the twilight of the day, as ppl get ready to pack up and leave for home, another surprise wrings it way into my life.

Turns out this roller coaster ride come up for air and ends on ground level after all! :-)

While wallowing in despair/shame/agony/pain/suffering over the realization of what I had done over the past 6 months to Black Widow AND trying to keep my anger in check from shouting obscenities or hitting something hard (getting rude phone calls in the office and not being able to retaliate sucks!)...I suddenly got an email.

‘Twas this other woman I recently spent the last few days getting acquainted to.

After reading up on Deangelo and Azrael’s teachings, I decided to go out there and experiment .

Well, I guess the cocky-funny routine worked after all, ‘cos a few of them ladies answered back and I’ve gotten along like a house on fire with some of them. (Well that’s my opinion neways!)

Our chat ended on a high note and made me realise, God is fair and gracious.

For every chance or opportunity missed, God supplies us with multiple outs....it’s just a matter of us wanting to move on and put the past behind us or not!

Cheers for the chat Ed....ur a great friend and it was just the correct panacea I needed to put out the bitter sting of rejection.

At the end of the day, life is a never-ending roller coaster...I just happened to have taken a really, really wild, twisting and turning ride today......

;-p

A Hard Day's Night

OMG.

Tis sure has been a hard day's night these past few days.

After staying overnight the whole weekend, I thought work would slow down but no, just as death and taxes, work is a neverending constant.

I sure have learnt my lesson about not putting things off til the last minute before workin on it tho'.

So here's to a NEW timely, more effective ME, eh ?


;-p

Of Procrastination, Deadlines and Consequences

Dear, dear God Almighty,

I speak to you now 'cos I admit it...I have learnt my lesson.

Because of my propensity to procrastinate......I am now in the office typing away into an Excel file some random data at 4 fcukin A.M. on a Saturday night/ Sunday morning JUST so I can meet the Monday morning deadline!

OMG...if this isn't mental and physical (my brain is surviving on just 2 hours sleep) torture, then I don't know what is....

I promise NOT to be tardy for deadlines in the future, God......

Just give me enough strength and motivation to get through this.....

:-(

Jerk On, Jerk Off!

Hahahahahahahahhahaha.....

OMG how liberating it is to be a JERK to women !

God damn it if I knew how much confidence and what a boost it is to your ego being a jerk is, I would have started being it since high school !

All my fcukin sad existence, I've been nothing but a wussy mama's boy.

Mama brought me up to be a gentleman, take care of the lady, drive her here, drive her there, never fight back, always be polite, smile, etc. etc.

Fcuk that man!

If women really wanted that, they'd all go out and buy their own personal slave (which is what most subservient husbands turn into after marriage---a wage earning love slave who's subservient to their wife's every needs and demands).....

But these past week...two GUYS have opened my eyes to the TRUTH:

Azrael the Writer and David Deangelo, the self styled Dr. Love.

I know, i know...some of u ladies out there reading this might go...dear god what a sad loser...he's fallen into the trap of listening to the rantings of a nobody writer wannabe and an evangelical-like hype machine....

Well guess what ladies...I was bloody sceptical as well initially...but fcuk it what they said kinda made sense and after hitting rock bottom, I have nothing to lose by trying something new, right ?

Azrael being a writer at heart, teaches the art of being a jerk.
Why it made sense after a decade of being a nice guy and getting nowhere with women.

Dengelo on the other hand, teaches the science of being a jerk.
Breaking things down to quantifiable moments and instances whereupon you can use ur cocky&funny character to attract women.

They both basically hit on the same idea but arrived to it through different thought processes.

Azrael went thru multiple heartbreaks and artistic pain then used his highly artsy brain: started questioning Why? and What? wasn't working.

Deangelo on the other hand also went thru lotsa breakups but he approached the problem scientifically, isolating what precisely attracts women.

U see....it's not being a jerk that attracts women...it's the qualities a jerk has such as (over)confidence, self-security, independence that make them stand out compared to other men suitors.

One IMPORTANT revelation explained was MEN are dumb and they become FAKE in front of the women they are attracted to.

They put on a facade of the NICE charming guy who opens doors, buys dinner & flowers, always a gentleman, never complains, always there when the lady is sad and needs a shoulder to cry on, etc. etc.

If u want to be a FRIEND then go on mate...do that.... but if u want to be the one the woman is crying about...then u have to attain the same qualities of JERKS.

Hollywood, Media, Woman's Mags and Mothers however offers COUNTER-PROGRAMMING by saying woman want the gentleman.

Shit a gentleman is a LOSER !

How fucking exciting is a relationship if the guy NEVER swears, NEVER stand her up, NEVER forget her birthday, NEVER act like a bastard, etc?

Can a women seriously ENDURE 20 years or more of monotony ?!

NO!

Women are highly intelligent and would be bored within minutes; despite whatever they say, women are HIGHLY attracted to people with JERK behaviour because its keyed in deep down in their psyche....

If u still don't believe me just imagine ur a HOT model / artist:

Every day u get at least 150 guys who try to chat u up at the supermarket, warong, club, work place, school, etc.

After ur teenage years..I'm sure you would acquire a shield and could pretty much zone out the regular POYO / WUSSY guys.... one crappy opening line and you know a guy is a loser and not worth ur time.....

So what happens if the 151st guy one day acts like jerk ansd don't put u on a pedestal like all previous 150 men do daily.

You feel a challenge right ?

SHIT this guy is different...he does NOT kiss the ground I walk on...he does not stalk me and barrage me with a flood of messages / text / e-mail like all my other 150 stalkers...

He's such a new challenge that I can't help but feel excited JUST by thinking about him....

THAT my friend is what being a jerk to women means......IF every men plays the NICE GUY routine yet they still can't get the girl...what makes u think ur nice guy routine will work ?!

STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS WOMEN BY BEING *NICE*

Be a JERK today and see ur EGO and CONFIDENCE boost as woman who'd never thought of u in THAT light find u unexplainably attractive.

Remember this mantra ATTRACTION is NOT a choice for women.

They don't use their brain when they are attracted to something/somebody...they use their feelings deeply ingrained by instinct...

So u don't need to be rich, or handsome, or powerful...u just need to be cocky, funny, independent and secure with yourself to be different from the sea of nice guys hoping to find Ms. Right!


;-p