I Quit !!!

Could it be possible?
Definitely incomprehensible,

For I had gone 24 straight years,
Of life on this God-given Earth,
Without ever knowing your touch, your caress, your existence!

Meeting you, knowing you, experiencing you;
Was like realising that all of a sudden,
I had another REASON for being.

How could I have gone on SO long,
without ever seeking you out before this?

Meeting you, knowing you, experiencing you;
It felt like you were a part of myself,
That I never EVEN knew I was missing,

Just waiting to be found. Just waiting to be savoured.

But now we must depart.
Circumstances breaks us apart,
And I part now with my sad heart,

For we were NEVER meant to be together.

Then why must we meet only to finally be torn apart?

An Ode to Sampoerna Cigarettes
My First, My Last, My Everything.

By NiK!

Smoke Break

"It has been 31 straight days since I had my last puff on a cigarette."

I woke up on March 1st and decided to turn my life around.

Shave off my 6-month length of Anuar Zain-like hair, start eating healthy and going to the gym regularly again, start anew with vigour and determination in my new capacity as an exec at CIMB Islamic, and yes…. regrettably…give up the one thing I’ve fallen in love with the MOST in the past 6 months:

"I've Stopped Smoking"

Now, one month into Project: Turnaround, I gotta say I feel better; I walk around with a new-found confidence gained from losing some weight; straightened my posture due to a fixed-weight training program; plus relishing my work and its new working hours (i HAVE a night life again! No more overtime-bollocks).

Coffee & Cigarrettes

Yet if I’m being true to myself, I feel a huge void in my heart, in my soul, in my life. Will I ever know thy caress again? Will my lips ever touch thou again? Will I ever breathe in the intoxicating potpourri of flavours and smells of you ever again?

After a huge satisfying meal; on the john while flipping thru a mag; post-coitus as our heart rates gradually beat back to normal; in the middle of a busy-stressful work day; late at midnight as I sit alone on the swing staring up into the constellation-filled night sky....

"I miss you."

I know it’s BAD for me yet I can’t resist it. Kinda like the Pain-Pleasure Concept, or even the Madonna-Whore complex (Google it up you uneducated heathen fools!) most men suffer from.

So far I’m going strong, doing ok, barely surviving.
Take your pick.

The first two weeks was pure mental torture. I had to stay away from my smoking buddies. Resist their temptations and offers of free smokes. Ate a lot of sweet stuff to compensate for the cravings. In effect I balooned up in size over the course of two weeks.

But by the third week, the cravings abated. I could exist in an environ where the person next to me smoked. Heck, even the smell of second-hand smoke started to rankle me and make me uneasy. I am in CONTROL !

No nicotine patches. No chewing gum fixation. Nothing.

Just PURE strength of will.

Next project on the horizon, wean myself of recreational drugs whenever I go out to have some *fun* (!) But that, my friends…is a whole other story to be told for another time!

Being Khairy Jamaluddin

This happened QUITE awhile ago, but I’ve been TOO busy getting used to the new job (FYI: I moved from CIMB Equity Research into CIMB Islamic recently) that I barely have time to blog these days.

Neways, CIMB Islamic had an event recently where I came face to face with the one, the only, Khairy Jamaluddin. (KJ)

Now before I continue this story further, you have to understand that prior to actually meeting him at this press conference, my only knowledge or preconceptions of KJ were formed by all the write-ups I was exposed to on malaysiakini.com and its ilk. So you can imagine myself having a negative outlook on a person I consider a young upstart trying to break into the political scene currently controlled by old fogeys way past their sell by dates. (yes..politics is a topic I don’t relish discussing/keeping up to date on… Hence my heathen fool, moronic red-neck child-like view of it)

KJ's Speech

I mean KJ is just 3 years older than me…and he’s the SECOND most influential man in Malaysia through association with our Prime Minister by marriage to his daughter(!)

WTF ??

Color me Jealousy-Green, man!!!

Kidding aside; let’s just say I don’t have too high a regard for KJ after reading all the negative articles on him online.

Seeing him in action tho’….might have just changed my mind. For Good.

Cheque Acceptance Ceremony

KJ came around to CIMB HQ for a press conference where we as Platinum Sponsors of the World Halal Forum were passing KJ and his organization a healthy donation for the aforementioned event. At the press conference, KJ went into a 5-7 minute speech smoothly and for the first 4 minutes, he recited it directly from memory (without even once looking at his notes) plus even added flourishes of a faux-English accent, superb eye contact, good body language, and kingly voice control over the crowd (bringing it up a few octaves where it was clear that the crowd was falling asleep; and making small in-jokes to lighten up the topic).

I take it back. I’m now DOUBLY JEALOUS of KJ !!!

This is one smooth-talkin muther-fcoker man!

Press Q&A Session

From his great body language, to his excellent control over the topic and conversing in the English language (sad to say, most ministers in power currently are CRAP when it comes to delivering speeches or public talks), to his clear self control over his will and the people around him.

Damn I’m impressed man….

In summary, yes, my point of view of KJ hasn’t changed (in a way). I’m STILL jealous that a man just 3 years older than me is one of the influential peeps in Malaysia right now by virtue of his marriage to the Prime Minister’s daughter. BUT I have also attained a newfound respect for this b@st@rd seeing how polished and smooth he is pulling off the politician role.

Heck…at the end of the day, politics is BLOODY dirty neways and the “Old Guard” have been leeching off the rakyat for too long(!) Let KJ and his army of like minded young upstarts (mostly Cambridge and Oxford bred) take over the country and have their time in the sun (leeching off the rakyat) pulak.

After all..what’s the difference of having a lesser evil compared to the current government we have anyways??

DJ Tiesto/Renault's Pit Par-tay

Tiesto is a Rock God.

Yes, I know, I know…he’s a world renowned DJ and drops a beat like nobody’s business. But FORGET that fact for a second. And focus on the fact that he managed to MOVE an 18,000-strong crowd like those ancient legends of rock's hall of fame….and you’d start to see things from my point of view.

Silence (feat Sarah McLachlan)

I was one of the many, many, ravers that managed to catch Tiesto play in KL during his short showcase recently in time with the F1 weekend. (I gotta say here that I’m jealous as hell ‘cos the Penangites got to have DJ Mario Piu or was it Mauro Picotto(?); and am sad ‘cos I missed DJ ATB’s showcase on Friday night, one day before Tiesto’s Pit Party).

Traffic

Yong and his gal Eliza, plus mua arrived fashionably late around 9ish just in time for DJ Tiesto’s showcase (we couldn’t be bothered with the filler DJs since they’re scrubs with less mad skillz ~ cheers again Liz for the complimentary tickets!).

After smoking up a joint, I was flying high enough to let my reservations go and just float to the beat of the music. And when I say float, I actually meant jump up and down like a rabid British bulldog on steroids just minutes from being put down by a shot to the head, for 5 hours straight. (What can I say....*weed* does that to you sometimes!)

Adagio 4 Strings

In closing; Tiesto rocked…HARD. And his third and final set must’ve been the best ‘cos he overcome his earlier technical deficiencies and truly stepped up his game. Plus the fact that I was in the middle section of the arena with Tiesto playing directly in front of me and the music booming til’ my heart shuddered in unison to the thumping bassline must've helped! ;-p

Just Be

God, I wish we got quality Euro-trash DJs like Tiesto, Mario Piu, and ATB, like every day of the week instead of JUST when the bloody F1 comes to town or if Heineken / any other sponsors decides to run an event.

I’m down with radio-friendly R&B played in clubs and all…but dude…sometimes you just wanna get fcuking high and bop like a dumbass-moron to the thumping beats of Euro-trash rave music!

Highly recommended!

;-p

How to Keep Him/Her Calling Back

Editor's Note: This article is originally written and meant for women. However the points it brings up are relevant to men as well. Guys, STOP being a wussy-loser the moment a woman even looks your way and starts giving attention. INSTEAD, be an ALPHA MALE for fcuk's sake and emulate the relevant points discussed below!

P.S. It's harder to exercise it than it is to talk. SO says the Editor who's had a tough time himself, dropping the wussy act and being a MAN instead. Ho-hum, thus is LIFE. ;-p
----

Using Mixed Messages Is The Secret To Keep Him On The Line
Written by Melissa Balmer, originally published on Seduction Insider.com

Ladies, there are two major things you need to own if you want to be the sort of woman men are jumping over themselves to go out with…not just once, but again and again:

Men love the chase

Everyone wants someone special

If you not only memorize the above two facts, but can put them into play, you’ll be able to drastically improve your results with any man you spark a connection with. That’s right, I said drastically improve.

Yep, I know it sounds simple, but if you keep these two facts in the forefront of your mind whenever dealing with a man you’re attracted to, you’ll automatically start changing your behavior into a style he’ll find much more beguiling.


Why Some Men Don't Call Back

And why is it important to change your behavior? Because let’s face it girls, once we meet a guy we’re really attracted to we usually make him far too important far too quickly. We watch the phone, we constantly check our email, and then when he does contact us, we talk too long, too frequently, and make ourselves too available.

Then on a date, instead of being our own fascinating and bewitching selves, we either talk too much (laying our dirty laundry on the table), or not enough (making him the star of the show), and to top it all off we often change our interests, goals, etc. to those which better mirror his own – all because we think this will make us more desirable in his eyes.

So what happens? He becomes either bored or freaked because we’re just a bit too eager. He starts to feel we’re not that special after all, that perhaps we’re just “guy crazy” and then he disappears. Does that mean we should revert to game playing to keep him interested? No. Should we follow specific “rules” such as never calling a man, ever? No, because sooner or later game playing backfires, and following a set of rigid rules makes us a rigid, unpleasant person to be around – in other words, not sexy or seductive at all.

What is sexy is to keep him guessing and keep him wanting to learn more about you. Remember:

Men love the chase

Everyone wants someone special

When we make things too easy for men (and vice versa) and they get bored, or start to take us for granted. By keeping the above facts always in the forefront of your mind when dealing with flirting and dating you’ll start to take the steps to make sure you keep him wondering. Let’s look at some specific ways you can do this.


How to Use Mixed Messages to Keep Him on the Line

There are two kinds of mixed messages, those that confuse a man a make him think you’re either playing him (or you’re a confused mess he needs to get away from fast) and those that make him more curious.

Blowing hot and cold, that is showing a lot of passionate interest on the phone, and then acting bored or flirting with other guys when you finally see a guy in person, is the sort of mixed message that usually backfires unless you absolutely know the guy is hooked. And it’s a dangerous game, because sooner or later he’s going to want to even the score by making you jealous.

A better-mixed message is to tell him you really want to see him, but you just don’t have that much time right now. This may not seem like a mixed message, but it is. Especially for the hotties that are used to women dropping everything for him. You, on the other hand, have a life and won’t dump your girlfriends, family, work, hobbies etc. just because he’s shown up in your life.

You don’t act bitchy or high handed, you’re enthusiastic about seeing him, you just simply only have time to see him once a week. And you don’t have all the time in the world to chat on the phone or online either.

So what if your social life isn’t that social? Act my darling, act! Even if your Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights are filled with you on the couch with your favorite sitcoms on T.V., you tell him which night you’re free (he doesn’t decide for you), and you’re only free that one night. When he asks what you’re doing the other nights, just smile sweetly and say, “I have plans I can’t break.”

You can also use mixed messages about sex. No, I don’t mean for you to turn into a tease, but I do mean for you to wait until you know you have the sort of open communication with a man that will ensure he’s not the only one who’s going to have fun in the bedroom.

So how does this work? You can passionately kiss a guy, but once his hands begin to wander, pull them away gently and say, “I really like you but I don’t fee like we don’t know each other well enough for that yet.”

Of course he’ll try to argue, but you stand your ground firmly but sweetly and say something like, “I know you’re willing to tell me just about anything I want to hear right now, but I prefer my compliments when a man isn’t all hot and bothered,” and then you tell him you had a wonderful time but you’ve got to study/wash your hair/get up early for work/call your Grandmother (you choose) and nicely but firmly push him out the door or ask him to drive you home.

He’ll be bummed and a bit confused (especially if he’s use to getting his own way), but if he’s any sort of decent guy with a sense of humor he’ll have to admit to himself that you’re right about him “saying anything you want to hear” in the heat of the moment to get closer to you physically, and he’ll respect you for it.

You’re showing him that he has to earn your respect, which means it’s still a chase and you’re now becoming someone special.

What's Your True Colour?

This is SUCH a juvenile 17-yr old gal-pal type of thing to do, but fcuk it (!);

"It's my (blog) par-tay & I'd cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cryyyy if I want to...
u would cry too if it happened to you..."

NiK, Your true color is RED!

Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses.

Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love.

So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in.

Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment.

Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.

What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

Journey to the East

Decided on a whim of the moment to just drop everything at work and bail out of K.L. for a few days in the East Coast of Semenanjung M'sia. (read: Cheapo Cuti-Cuti M'sia!)

My architecture-lecturer cousin, Abg Long extended the invite to go up to Kuala Terengganu over the weekend along with his GF, Sue and her best friend Shuba. (note: Them being actual fitness trainers of the Fitness First variety led to the *exciting* experience of waking up mid-morning to the exotic sights of yoga. Mmmmmm...yummy!)

Laughing Buddha Quests on Eastwards

Highlights of the trip includes:

* The huge Lord Muruga statue during our pit stop in Batu Caves.
* A gorgeous sunset on Pantai Temasek, midway between Marang and Kuala Gganu.
* Haji Embong's exotically designed/decorated flat in KT using a fusion of East & West.
* The recreated Kota Duyong Lama, a gateway to Warisan Melayu Gganu.
* Kebok's (Local K Gganu painter) superbly furnished house utilising artefacts in a modern style.

*SampaN*

Of course, this being a holiday and all...it wouldn't be complete without loads and loads of food. We sampled and tasted every imaginable local delicacy from Satar (A Gganu-ian Otak-Otak), to Nasi Dagang (with Ikan Kembong), to Nasi Lemak (with Ikan Kembong), to Nasi Tumpang (also with Ikan Kembong), to Keropok Ikan & Keropok Lekor.

Starting to notice a pattern here?

The Terengganu-ians LOVE their FISH !

Satar 4 Breakfast

In fact, I can only imagine one other person that can enjoy eating as much fish as them Gganu-ians. Too bad ur *pilgrimage* clashed dates with my road trip eh, Ed? I would've loved to have had u along to experience & share the culturally rich wonderful sights and sounds with me...maybe next time, brat!

New Horizon

Neways, check out them exotic locales, architecture & interior design wonders, and not forgetting the mouth-watering cuisine at:

uunikk.fotopages.com

P/S- All them pics were taken on my crappy 1.3 megapixel Nokia cameraphone. God, do I need a real digital camera(!)

To Be or Not To Be

That is the Question...

??Gay Kiss??

"Are you GAY?"
~Jay, ECM Libra Confidante.

"Are you SURE you're NOT GAY?"
~Shuba asked after 48 hours vacationing with me recently.

"Dun worry girls, NiK's GAY, that's why he's SO like that wan!"
~Eliza to her HOT GFs during a recent clubbing session.

"No-lah, if only there's a vintage/thrift store in M'sia. Well Nik, all these talk of flowers & dresses are making me think I'm talking to a girl. Enough with the girly talklah!"
~Ed, Diva.

??Brokeback Office??

Well ladies....sorry to rain on your parade...but the answer is simply and most irrevocably:

"NO ladies, I'm NOT GAY"

"I happen to LOVE women (& pu$$y) TOO much

to be gay (& start lovin c@ck)"

I mean for fcuk's sake woman....I WANT YOU (!), do I have to be anymore blatant than that??!!
*ahem*

(re-fixes neon pink bow-tie into correct position & smooths hair back into place)

Now that we've got the "theatrics" out of the way, let's get back to the gist of the matter and settle this discussion once and for all.

SO I happen to like browsing through OK / Hello / HOT magazine when I pick up my Men's Health / Film Review / FHM at the Magstore; SO I'm prone to watching rom-coms and situational dramas besides the live actioners, comedies or complex indie movies I love so dearly; SO I'm prone to reading my lil sis' period romance novels every now and then (ladies, CHECK OUT Susan Johnson's line of books ~ YUMMY! That's S-U-S-A-N J-O-H-N-S-O-N) on top of my regular fix of Sci-Fi or Fantasy or Crime Novels; SO I'm prone to watching Project: Runway (OMG I *HEART* HEIDI KLUM!), America's Next Top Model & Queer Eye For a Straight Guy, besides the regular TV fare like L O S T, CSI, comedies and cooking shows / documentaries on Discovery Travel & Living (Anthony Bourdain rox!)....

SO WHAT??!!!

Just 'cos my taste tends to linger wider than the regular dumb-caveman / mat rempit male doesn't mean I'm GAY, woman! I couldn't care less if you find it disturbing that a guy that looks like an ah-long from Kajang can converse with you about colours and textures for clothes; or indulge with you about the latest Hollywood gossip; or even talk about which leading male is HOT or not currently in H'wood. (O.k. that LAST one is pretty disturbing even to me!)

I don't do facials or pedicures nor manicures; I couldn't care less whether what I'm wearing is branded or not; I try not to colour coordinate when I'm not in the office; I'm more of a shirts and frayed jeans / three-quarter pants kinda guy in my free time; and I hate working out and love to eat (especially junk food that's bad for my health).

So NO, I'm NOT a METROSEXUAL, or a NEW AGE SENSITIVE MAN, nor GAY.

I just happen to be a MAN that appreciates the finer things in life and can see things from a female point of view. Being a mama's boy for the past 23 years of my life has fcuked-me up SO good and given me SUCH a twisted outlook compared to regular males who loves PORN, prefer to watch football all night, or talk hours on end about cars, or go geeky over the latest technological gadget.

I mean...YES...I LOVE to do that as well...to a degree...but I don't mind if I don't do it either. I'm comfortable enough, carrying a conversation about clothes or the latest gossip etc. etc.

If you're still unconvinced woman....then I'm sure we could discuss it further at some appointed time where I can show you my manhood and "talk" about my shortcomings!

;-)

In conclusion, if you can't handle me and my sh1t; fcuk off then(!). Life's TOO SHORT to be spent trying to please EVERYONE; I don't care if women find me disarming and I turn on their GAY-dar senses TOO MUCH.

I'm NOT a regular man like the dozens out there-lah. I'm uunikk, one of a kind, diamond in the rough, and other mumbo-jumbo sh1t like that. i AM what i AM, and if you're TOO short-sighted to see past your prejudices or if you can't handle it then woman, TOUGH LUCK !

Posing Ala-ala Macho Male-Chauvinist-Pig Siut!

P/S - U know what. In retrospect...a few hours after venting my anger...the MALE side of my brain is saying that this post sounds pretty much like what a GAY man in denial would do when someone points out that he's oh-SO gay: Throw a HISSY fit like a woman(!)

But I've decided to put this post up neways 'cos I think it's retardedly funny how my mind flip flops from *pseudo-feminine* to "macho-male chauvinist pig" within seconds. Must be the bloody time of the month again!

;-p

Excuses, Excuses

Women confess: 'The worst turn-down I got...'
Written By Caitlin Ascolese, Originally published on Msn.Match.com

Our survey uncovers some of the harsher rejections women have ever received. Now an expert decodes them—and helps you understand what's really going on when someone is rejected.

Men aren’t the only ones who get turned down for dates. Some women are confident enough to make the first move—and when they are on the receiving end of rejection, they learn just what guys have been going through for centuries. We surveyed female Match.com members and learned the worst way they'd ever heard, "Thanks, but no thanks." Then we took the results to our straight-shooting communications expert, Lillian Glass, Ph.D., author of I Know What You’re Thinking. Here, she explains what the wording of a rejection reveals about the guy who doled it out, and offers support for those who've been snubbed everywhere.

"I met a guy at a bar who told me, ‘I don’t date women I meet in bars.’"
—Heather, 25, Ocala, FL
Dr. Glass: "He’s the biggest hypocrite! He’s acting like you’re trashy for being in a bar—when that’s exactly where he is. In a relationship, this is the kind of guy who might egg you on to drink a lot and then berate you later for getting drunk, or talk you into doing something you didn’t want to do and then say, 'I never told you to do that!'"

"The most ridiculous excuse I’ve heard was that my breasts were too big."
—Michelle, 38, Sleepy Hollow, NY
Dr. Glass: "Sure, men have certain attractions, but they don’t have to tell you what they are and make it seem like there’s something wrong with you. This guy is vulgar and insecure."

"One man told me I was ‘too nice’ for him."
—Christine, 41, Paris, France
Dr. Glass: "He’s trying to make you right and him wrong. He’s not actually a bad boy—he’s just trying to think of a nice way to explain that he doesn’t feel any chemistry."

"The worst excuse I’ve heard is: ‘I like you, but I can do better. No sense getting your hopes up.’"
—Cindy, 44, Redding, CA
Dr. Glass: "That is a hateful narcissist. He thinks he’s so great that he’s doing her a favor by talking to her. Her response should have been: 'You did get my hopes up—I hope I never run into another toxic, disgusting narcissist like you.'"

"He said, ‘The last time someone asked me out, it ended with her throwing a mug at my head.’"
—Whitney, 28, Washington, DC
Dr. Glass: "He’s giving you a big clue about himself. Some people believe that patterns repeat themselves, and he may be doing things to guarantee that. This guy apparently provokes actual violence, and you have to ask yourself what kind of person he is if women are throwing things at him."

"One guy said he just didn’t feel like getting up and driving to pick me up."
—Sarah, 23, Denver, CO
Dr. Glass: "He’s a lazy bum who’s basically looking for a booty call—one that comes to him."

"His excuse was, ‘I’ve got all kinds of stuff to take care of around the house. I’ve been putting it off for weeks, and I really should get to it.’"
—Ellen, 25, Hollywood, CA
Dr. Glass: "This is the guy version of 'I have to wash my hair.' It comes across horribly—he means that he doesn’t think they’re a good pair, but he’s saying that his dirty laundry is more important than her."

"One guy said: ‘Sorry, but you misunderstood my intentions.’"
—Linda, 49, Claremore, OK
Dr. Glass: "He’s making it sound like she’s wrong—blaming-the-victim syndrome. He seems to want the attention of being desired by a woman, but not the responsibility for things progressing."

"He said that although I was gorgeous, we wouldn’t get along because I’m a Virgo."
—Shannon, 29, Phoenix, AZ
Dr. Glass: "Some people, whether you agree with them or not, live by astrology. And it’s self-fulfilling—if he thinks it won’t work out with you, he’ll find reasons to make sure it doesn’t."

"A man told me had a girlfriend—but I found out later that he didn’t."
—Lauren, 27, West Hills, CA
Dr. Glass: "He’s trying to let you off the hook gently, which makes him a gentleman in my book. He’s letting you know that it’s not about you and that he’s loyal and honorable—even though it’s to an imaginary girlfriend."

"I was into this guy who said he’d like to meet me, but was too busy at work to get away."
—Judith, 55, Monroe, GA
Dr. Glass: "That excuse says, 'I come first, and that includes my work.' He’s so self-absorbed that he’s not even considering that she might have a job and things to do as well."

"He didn’t think my lack of sports enthusiasm was a good thing."
—Jeannie, 49, Southgate, MI
Dr. Glass: "Some guys are so into sports that they need a mate to share the interest or one who won’t say, 'Why are you watching the game instead of being with me?' This guy has probably been there and back with women who aren’t into sports, and he’s right—it won’t work out."

"He said, ‘I have to take my dog to have its anal gland expressed.’"
—Amanda, 30, Shrewsbury, MA
Dr. Glass: "That might be true, but he could have said, ‘My dog is sick’ or even ‘Its anal gland is giving it trouble.’ By picking a graphic, shocking way to say it, he’s testing her to see if she still likes him after he’s inappropriate. He’s a crass, vulgar guy."

"‘I’ve decided to continue the affair I was having with my married girlfriend’ was his excuse."
—Laura, 45, Chester, VA
Dr. Glass: "He’s a sleaze-bucket who doesn’t want a commitment. Or he could be trying to paint himself in the most negative light possible to seem so unattractive that you won’t feel bad that he’s shooting you down."

"A guy told me he had an appointment with an Army recruiter—at midnight."
—Denice, 56, Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Dr. Glass: "He’s saying he’s a macho man and his country comes first. But he’s still got an ego, because even though he doesn’t want to date you, he still wants you to see him as a good guy."

"I was amused when someone said I was ‘too secure.’"
—Gwen, 46, Menlo Park, CA
Dr. Glass: "A man who quakes in his boots at the sign of a woman who’s successful has a lot of mother issues he hasn’t worked out. It’s a sign of emotional impotence that could be physical, too, so she may have just saved herself from a bad sex life."

Caitlin Ascolese is a freelance writer in New York City who’s currently trying to come up with good excuses for two men who won’t stop calling her—no matter how many times she says she’s really busy with work.

East Coast Road Trip

No updates on me blog starting from tmw til' the weekend peeps!

I'm leaving KL for a few days on an East Coast Road Trip upto Kuala Terengganu.

My cousin and some of his peeps are goin up to shoot a documentary or summat!

See u next week.

Will Fotopage the pics I'll take on the trip laters.

The TRUTH

I had an epiphany yesterday....

This is the TRUTH, the whole TRUTH, and nothing but the TRUTH.....

It is a publicly known secret, but NO ONE will come up to you and actually say it out loud. So reader beware (!), for once this forbidden knowledge is uncovered, it can't be ignored no more (unless you have a brain lobotomy-lah)...
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In my humble opinion, when you strip away EVERY external factor; there are only THREE main motivators / factors / human need / want that drives EVERY decision made by humans in their whole life:

God. Money. Sex.

Okay, for the more innocent( or depraved) boys and girls out there, let me rephrase that and break it down:

God = Belief in a higher person / power that affects you and everything in the universe.

For those atheists or existentialists out there, if not a higher person; then an unexplainable force which keeps everything in check and balanced. Since I'm NO theological major, let's just leave it at that. (If you have your differing views tho', DO chime in).

Money = Power / Influence / Status on this Physical Earth.

Who doesn't want Power? Countless wars have been fought and millions of lives have been wasted for this most Earthly object of desire. Multinational corporations strategize to increase their worldwide market share. Presidents and Head of States plan and ponder to increase their economic strength. That Nasi Lemak seller from across the road is saving enough money to secure a loan for a multi-chain Nasi Lemak business.

"Power corrupts; Absolute Power corrupts absolutely."

But feck it(!)...Even the most pious of men would be tempted by this most earthly of desires. After all, with Power, you can do anything, command anyone at your beck and call...oh how addictive and tempting it is.

Sex = Love / Lust / Desire / Romance

And lastly, we come to our third base need (and my favourite one at that). NO ONE can deny it, SEX plays an important part of our lives. Men think about it every second of the day (unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you see it, we're JUST built this way, girls!). Women won't admit it, but they think about it as often as men as well.

Okay, for the sake of discussion, maybe women don't blatantly think of it in its raw-est of forms (SEX) but instead in more *rose-tinted glasses* terms; i.e. romance, emotions,love. The thing that we Asians need to realise is that it's NOT WRONG to think about SEX (/ love / lust / desire / romance / emotions however you wanna put it)as much as you do. It's ONLY Natural. After all, we're ALL human with THREE base desires driving every single decision we make , every second of the day.

So with this knowledge in mind, what should YOU do?

"Knowledge is Power"

With this knowledge in mind my dear readers, what you should strive for in life is a BALANCE of ALL THREE base desires. For that is the ULTIMATE goal in life: To Achieve Balance.

I know, I know...it's sounds like a fcukin BORING existence innit?

But leading a balanced life is an EASIER way to CONTENTMENT compared to focusing on ONLY ONE base desire (be it God / Money / Sex).

Just think about it for a minute:

Focus solely on GOD and you'll lead a TOO PIOUS a lifestyle that only cares about the afterlife and neglects the earthly responsibilities(work/family/friends/society).

Focus solely on MONEY and you'll lead TOO EXTRAVAGANT a lifestyle which tho' intially exciting; will eventually lead to a life of discontent. After all, how much can you devour before your belly becomes full? how many earthly things can you buy before every purchase becomes JUST another acquisition?

Focus soley on SEX and you'll lead TOO DECADENT a lifestyle which (I'm sure EVERY man on earth would be willing to sacrifice their left ballacks to enjoy even a second of this purpotedly NASTY lifestyle that's supposed to be BAD for ur health!) will eventually lead to a life of mental torture.

After all, if EVERY woman/man you desire falls under the spell you cast: How fcuking boring would life be after awhile?? Can you even trust anyone for liking you for who you are OR is it because your powerful sexual magnetism? (Some bloody professor from Oxford / Cambridge / Harvard should seriously make a study on this. Heck I'd even be a WILLING test subject! ;-p)

You see, HUMANS are peculiar engines driven BOTH by its mental capabilities AND the desires of its heart. Human desire are infinite and with no limits; BUT the human mind has a "marginal propensity of enjoyment". (So those bloody Econs classes I took in Uni came in handy after all!).

Have TOO MUCH of anything, and eventually you will grow discontent.

So in conclusion, the path to contentment is to have a BALANCE between the three base desires (God. Money. Sex.) that drives EVERY decision a human makes, every second of the day, every passing moment of their life.


*Sensei NiK*

Just My 30 cents Worth!

This JUST my "30 cents" on the topic; feel free to butt in if u have a differing opinion:

Speaking from experience; I reckon the writer's assessment is correct. (do read the article attached below this rant to get a heads up on the topic of discussion)

It's only 'cos it's written in Malay and he's quite impassioned when writing it, that it comes off as the rantings of an emotional inbred.

The gist of it is, he concludes that our Ministers and National Statistic boards are lying to the rakyat by making currency exchange comparison when talking about oil price hikes. Of course if you factor in that 1RM=7UKPoundSterling, Malaysians WOULD OF COURSE be enjoying the CHEAPEST petrol rates in the world.

The argument that the writer tries to build his case around is that comparisons of petrol price hikes SHOULD be on a like for like basis. ie. look at the economy as a whole, make comparisons based on disposable income available AFTER each price hike, or the basket of goods availble to be purchased with the country's respective income (purchasing power parity / The Economist's Big Mac indicator)

Let's take a SIMPLE example:

When I was studying in UK, I earned 400 pound sterling monthly (roughly RM2800) working 20-hour workshifts every weekend, cleaning dishes at the University cafeteria.(Oh...those WERE the days!*sigh*)

With THAT amount of money, I was ABLE to pump petrol into my (father's) BMW Z3, pay the rent / utilities / cableTVsubscription / broadband, shop for my groceries, plus have extra money on the side for amusements /clothes /books&mags /etc.

Shopping bill for weekly groceries barely scrapes 25 pounds (this includes meats / vege / breakfast cereals / bread / milk / condiment & spices /etc.) Try shopping at Giant / Carrefour / Jusco / Tesco in Malaysia and I doubt u'd get ANYTHING on a budget of RM25.

The point is: The cost of living in UK is dirt cheap.
The guy that bags your groceries at your local neighbourhood

Tesco / Sainsburys / Marks&Sparks gets to save 6 months of his wages, then travel to Malaysia / Thailand on premium and get treated like a KING. A local M'sian Giant / Carrefour / Jusco bag-attendant can save up til day he die, yet he won't be able to afford that month-long trip to Prague or Milan.

---------

Now that I'm working in Malaysia earning RM2500++ (roughly 360 pounds) working 16-hour workdays (oh the pain!), Petrol for my beaten up 20-yr old Mercedes/jalopy Ol' Betsy alone costs RM400 a month.

After you take out insurance, filial piety parental tax, daily makan allowance, etc. etc. I barely have enough money left over for my amusements / clothes / books&mags / etc...let alone enough money to go out *hunting* or to wine and dine chickas every weekend.

My point is: The cost of living in Malaysia is HIGH.
Everything in Msia has *inflated* in the past 20 years in terms of prices EXCEPT our wages/income!

And our appointed parliamentary MPs rather spend their sessions in Parliament discussing IMPORTANT matters such as the shortness of MAS stewardesses skirts and how they are distracting, nude squat videos, sleeping,or other lecherous non-gravity defying issues to the rakyat; instead of talk about THE IMPORTANT STUFF, like inflation, or why public transport in Msia is abysmal, the eroding standard of Msian public education, or the laissez-faire tertiary education system where if u have money, you can buy a degree, etc. etc.

----------

So what's a wannabe-Playa living in KL earning a shite-income to do when petrol prices go up & electricity tariffs soon too?

Where to find extra disposable income to keep the sayaaannggs happy lah wei??
(Electricity bills going up?? Aiyo there goes my hours spent online surfing for porn then!)

The solution:
Go bi$exu@l and start earning a side income in Jalan Bukit Bintang's multitude of dodgy g@y massat outlets/spas.

"Bannng..marilah Bang... Ahhh Dato' come here, come here...I give massat baik punya!.. Alow Mate..u want saksak?"

"Haaa..Kakkk hari nih I ada special offer utk u... Massat One Free One... Goreng pon Sodap!!! Dikkk...Nak 20 sen tak?"


;-p








Bad-Taste NiK!

---Purveyor of LONG-winded perasan-pseudo intellectual BORING texts & juvenile/male-chauvinistic unfunny-humour!---

-----Original Message-----
Melopenk: Peratus, Nisbah & Kadaran

Seorang bekas pemimpin berceloteh mengenai kenaikan harga minyak yang dia anggap tersangatlah munasabah dan sungguh masuk akal. Antara lain, dia berhujah dengan hujah yang sudah lapuk lagi mual iaitu harga minyak di Malaysia masih lagi terendah jika dibandingkan dengan negara-negara lain.

Dia memberi contoh, di Britain harga minyak lebih kurang dalam RM7 seliter, jauh lebih tinggi, berlipat kali ganda daripada harga di Malaysia.

Dalam ilmu hisab, kita ada diajarkan dengan tajuk PERATUS. Naik sekolah menengah, ada tajuk advance sikit: NISBAH DAN KADARAN. Tajuk-tajuk ini adalah tajuk yang paling asas (basic) dalam ilmu hisab. Kalau tajuk- tajuk ini pun kita tak boleh paham, makna kata, memang kita buta ilmu hisab.

Bila kita kata harga minyak kita jauh lebih rendah dengan Britain, kita mesti tanya balik: Berapa NISBAH perbelanjaan minyak seliter orang

Britain(British) BERBANDING dengan gaji sebulan mereka? Kemudian, kita kira pula nisbah perbelanjaan minyak seliter orang Malaysia pula (berbanding dengan gaji sebulan). Kemudian, baru kita boleh buat satu perbandingan yang adil dan tidak berat sebelah (fair comparison).

Ambil contoh kelas menengah di Britain dan di Malaysia. Gaji eksekutif muda di Britain lebih kurang dalam £2,000 sebulan. Gaji eksekutif muda di Malaysia pun lebih kurang dalam RM2,000 sebulan. Eksekutif di Britain hanya membayar sebanyak 81 pence (£0.81) seliter. Eksekutif di Malaysia pula kena bayar RM1.48 seliter. Sekarang, tolong kira berapa NISBAH harga minyak seliter dengan gaji sebulan bagi kedua-dua negara? Siapa yang lebih rendah dan siapa pulak yang lebih tinggi?

Itu baru cerita pasal minyak. Belum cerita pasal harga barang makanan lagi.Eksekutif di Britain boleh beli barang-barang dapur dengan harga yang amat murah. Barang-barang makan seperti bijirin sarapan pagi masih boleh dibeli pada harga di bawah £1. Coklat Snickers boleh dibeli pada harga 30 pence satu. Bak kata orang, kalau bawa £50 pergi membeli-belah, jawabnya 2-3 troli kena pakai bawa barang keluar.

Banding pula dengan eksekutif di Malaysia. Boleh beli barang makan di bawah harga RM1? Boleh jumpa Snickers pada harga 30 sen? Berapa banyak barang boleh dapat kalau bawa M50??? Dengar cerita, sardin cap ayam pun dah dekat RM5 setin,mampus tak makanlah kalau orang takde duit!

Memang tak hairan kalau eksekutif muda Britain boleh pakai BMW second-hand, boleh beli tunai (cash) lepas kerja 6 bulan.Eksekutif di Malaysia?? Kancil cabuk pun kena berhutang sampai 7 tahun. Nak beli BMW second-hand?? Kirim salam.......

Jadi, bila campur-campur semua ni, kita boleh dapat NISBAH besar PERBELANJAAN BERBANDING dengan PENDAPATAN. Perbandingan nisbah adalah perbandingan yang lebih munasabah, adil dan masuk akal. Kalau membanding dengan kos yang ditukarkan ke mata wang Malaysia, memang jelas dan terang seolah-olah harga di Malaysia adalah yang terendah dalam dunia, tapi jangan kita lupa pula gaji bulanan kita pun terendah juga! Jangan ambil sekerat-sekerat, jangan highlight satu aspek sahaja, tapi aspek lain cuba disorok-sorokkan.

Kadang-kadang, bila jabatan-jabatan kerajaan dan media-media keluarkan statistik, nampak macam tak pernah pergi sekolah punya orang. Nak kata tak pergi sekolah, tapi di belakangnya bergulung-gulung ijazah dan PhD sana sini, kononnya akulah yang terhebat dalam dunia. Tapi, apa yang diwar-warkan lebih rendah dari taraf hampas kelapa sebab hampas kelapa masih lagi boleh diberi makan kepada ayam.


dari kawan aku, kepada mung...

Anuar Yusri Mohd Yusoff
Banking Supervision 1
Bank Negara Malaysia
ext 8918

harga minyak sepanjang zaman.. (dalam masa 16 tahun - sejak 1990)

sebelum 90 - RM 0.89
tahun 1990 - RM 1.10 ( kenaikan RM 0.21)

01/10/2000 - RM 1.20 ( kenaikan RM 0.10)

20/10/2001 - RM 1.30 ( kenaikan RM 0.10)

01/05/2002 - RM 1.32 ( kenaikan RM 0.02)
31/10/2002 - RM 1.33 ( kenaikan RM 0.01)

01/03/2003 - RM 1.35 ( kenaikan RM 0.02 )

01/05/2004 - RM 1.37 ( kenaikan RM 0.02)
01/10/2004 - RM 1.42 ( kenaikan RM 0.05)

05/05/2005 - RM 1.52 ( kenaikan RM 0.10)
31/07/2005 - RM 1.62 ( kenaikan RM 0.10)

28/02/2006 - RM 1.92 ( kenaikan RM 0.30)

Nota : (ayat2 standard) :Alasan Kerajaan

1. Kenaikan minyak masih rendah berbanding mana2 pun negara ASEAN.

2. Kerajaan akan pastikan kenaikan tidak membebankan

3. Kerajaan tidak mampu lagi menampung subsidi.

4. Kerajaan memberi jaminan harga runcit petroleum tidak akan dinaikkan lagi pada TAHUN INI.

Fotopages Updated!

Just updated my Fotopages with pics of the MT peeps and the naughty, naughty, things we got upto when the night turns noir' and we let our hairs down:

'Riza!' & Bday Girl Ida


Bar Flams '05


Tims & His Entourage


Posing Maut!

Check em' out and MORE at http://uunikk.fotopages.com/

i AM what i AM !!!

"I don’t think you’ve a bad heart anyway, just slightly sleazier that any normal sleazy guy."
~Ed, Diva

"OMG, you've gotten SO cynical!"
~Zura, former Primary 12 classmates I met up with recently

"How did you manage to end up being a male chauvinist anyway? :P True in a way that your blogs are just that, but I can't help thinking that these women we know who reads them; reads them to built more anger towards you for whatever reason."
~Shuks, my CIMB brother-in-arms

"I've failed you somehow. I feel guilty because my absence in the past two years might have led you down this dark path of corruption."
~Faizal Mokhtar, long-lost buddy and my "significant other" comic-book wise

"Ko memang poyo Nik!"
~Kak Nora, annoyingly observant Debt Research team secretary

"I'm a MAN who thinks with his d1ck 24-7. If women can't get over that fact, FCUK 'EM! Who needs 'em neways?? (Errmm...WE DO?!)"
~Conversation between NiK's subconcious & his (d1ck) ;-p

And NOW we come back FULL CIRCLE. Isn't it ironic?

Refer back to my blogpost 2 years ago when I reflected upon my disenchantment with life and its constant cycles on my Frenster pages:

I'm a 23 year old Corporate 'Flunky' who just entered the Rat Race in one of Malaysia's Premier Merchant Bank.

Still getting used to the fact that I'm no longer a teenager but an actual living-breathing-honest-to-goodness-working Adult.

Currently facing a 'mid-mid-life crisis' as I start questioning what I'm currently doing and whether I want to do it for the next 30 years of my life

I mean, I finished 11 years worth of schooling, then did 3 years of college, and another 3 years of Uni JUST to end up behind a desk in a nondescript cubicle, in a nondescript corporate building?

Is this ALL there is to LIFE then ?

To repeat the cycle my parents did and their parents before them did as well ?

Live, Work, Breed, Die.

Repeat Ad Nauseam.

There I was fresh out off uni; just back from UK and starting up my career in CIMB. After the wide-eyed sheen of new experiences at the workplace faded, i FELT LOST, as though I was a bit player on this universal play acted by millions of players on a global scale. Continuing a mundane CYCLE of life. Cukup makan utk terus hidup but nothing more!

And now, 2 years on; i FEEL the SAME disenchantment I had all those months ago. i FEEL LOST, unhinged, disjointed...NOT MYSELF. Here's what I currently have on my Frenster profile:

Is THIS all there is to life?

Get a job. get a nice car. get a big house. get a "model" wife. get 2.5 kids. send them to the best schools. send them overseas to uni. get them the best jobs in town. watch the whole process repeat itself with your kids.

In the meantime:
Do drugs. get high. go drinking. go clubbing. do women. go on vacation. read thought provoking books. watch movies. listen to music.

JUST to pass the time by as you complete the same cycle your parents and their parents before them HAVE completed.

I'm TIRED of this cycle and WANT to break free.

If ur thinkin the same thing, I'm interested in meeting you....

The one thing I realised in the past two years working for this corporate machine is this: "I've LOST sight who I actually am"

In my fervour to keep up with the joneses, be one of the gang, be accepted into their fold...i've LOST TOUCH with who i am, what makes me tick, what makes me, well... ME !

And that in a way is reflected in my writings on this blog I guess, and the way I communicate my ideas, or how I treat people in the past two years:

I profess I don't enjoy smoking (well maybe just w**d but NOT cigarettes 24-7 like a chimney). I mean WHY smoke if ur not going to get ANY high off of it??

i ABHOR and HATE clubbing. ( i LOVE the beautiful people and enjoy the music, but the smoke and the alcohol just isn't me). I'm more of a pub/jazz bar/lounge kinda guy where you can just hang out and chit chat to get to know each other better to the background of good music.

I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Having RM50ish lunches without batting an eyelid does not come like second nature to me. I'm not hip and aware to all the posh restaurants/hotels/eateries or the latest craze in culinary KL.

YET, people CAN change. People CAN adapt. People CAN learn. But NOT at the expense of my own identity, until I become something I'm not. To the point that I'm FAKE to these new friends I enjoy hanging out with.

Being a voracious reader and a born writer, I'm fascinated by PEOPLE.

Therefore I'm constantly fascinated by whatever dissects people's behaviour from Stephen Covey (7 Habits to Highly Effective People) to Dale Carnegie (How To Win Friends & Influence People) to Robert T. Kiyosaki (Rich Dad, Poor Dad) to the many, many articles I've put up online on Woman, Dating & Relationships by David Deangelo, Mystery (The Mystery method), and Neill Strauss (The Game:Undercover in The Secret Society of Pick Up Artists).

REMEMBER MY DEAR READERS: These are all MERELY ideas.

Guidelines left by the respective writers about a certain way to lead your life.JUST because it is on my blog, DOES NOT per say mean that i BELIEVE in them 100% !!!

A far, far, more wiser MAN before me sang out this line which I think holds true at this point in my life: "Buang yang keruh, ambil yg jernih" ~P. Ramlee

As a frail human put upon this Earth by God, I am BUT one individual. My identity is constantly in flux, shaped by my current beliefs and experiences AND my past and upbringing.

It's finding a FINE BALANCE between both the past and the present to forge my future which makes being a human being SO exciting. So Maybe what I think is correct NOW is flawed and might be proven so in the FUTURE, THAT'S WHAT BEING A HUMAN IS ALL ABOUT!

MAKING MISTAKES AND LEARNING FROM IT!!!

It's FUNNY and IRONIC how as adults, we see failing or people who fail as secondary citizens who are worse off compared to us. But have u realised that THEY are far, far, better off than you (in terms of life experiences)? They at least have the balls to try something in life, and failure just happens to be the outcome.

Remember how when you first learnt how to ride a bike, or fly a kite, or read a Peter & Jane book, you'd fail and fail again? Yet the human spirit in you persisted, and therefore you evolved into what you are today.

What is important, is to continue living your lives & taking more chances, LEARN from your mistakes, and continue grabbing life by its balls.

In closing, I'd like to thanks ALL my dear friends (the ones featured up there at the start of this RANT, and the ones not). Your prescence in my life has enriched me, made me who I am, and in a way influenced who I WILL be in the future.

Do not fear any reprisals/anger if you feel the need to comment me on my outlook on life. Say your 2 cents and give me an idea of your point of view. Despite my aggro/emo nature (as evidenced here in my writings), I actually welcome comments/feedback on my behaviour. It actually gives me a yardstick to compare what I think I am, against what I actually are.

Always remember: DARE to FAIL and never forget that REINVENTION is the KEY to EVOLUTION.

;-)