Year : Two

25th Birthday Cake


*22nd August 1980*

25.

That’s how old I turn today.

Wow.....

Quarter of a Century y’all !!!

I guess I’m crossing an *important* imaginary line here.

Goodbye teenagedom, hello adulthood ?

Yet it all feels the same.

The lungs that breath in the air is still the same one like yesterday’s.

The pair of eyes I use to see (and ogle women most times) are still the same ones as yesterday’s.

The brain I use to think, as I type out this words is still the same one as the one I used to hatch a plan to get off work early yesterday.

So what’s changed??

Nothing I guess.

Age is JUST a number. You STAY the same way you are NO matter how OLD you get !

That’s why some people could be pushing onto 60 but still healthy and a go-getter (young at heart).

Or why someone could only be 30 yet as crabby as an old goat (pessimistic old fart).

YOU are who YOU are.

And once you come to that realization...it becomes easier to CHANGE who you are.

To adapt. To evolve. To make paradigm shifts in your personality.

Here’s to another wicked quarter of a century in the future y’all and I’m hoping you’re along for this wild ride!

-----

Has it been a year already since I started up this blog a few days after my 24th birthday ??

Good God it’s been 12 months already!

It felt like only yesterday since I first opened up my blogger account and made my first virginal transmission.

I know, I know, time and tide waits for no man but this is ridiculous... where has the year gone ?

Alright NEW birthday resolution : Strive to make every minute matter, every second count, every hour worthwhile...... Oooppss... gotta get to work now... I see my boss walking this way...

Better start acting Look Like Busy (LLB)...hehehehe

;-p

Celebration: Chocs & Wacky Tobaccy

What Can You Learn from "The 40 Year Old Virgin"?

By Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2005, Seduction Insider.

“Don’t put the pussy on a pedestal” – advice from male characters in 'The 40 Year Old Virgin'

Okay, I have to be honest (as always) and let you know that when my publisher told me he wanted a review of “The 40 Year Old Virgin” and how it related to our advice here at Seduction Insider I inwardly cringed. You see, unlike most Americans I hate slapstick. As much as I love Cameron Diaz, I don’t love “There’s Something About Mary,” and I was really afraid that “The 40 Year Old Virgin” would not only be one silly gross out gag after another, but that it would have absolutely no witty insights into improving one’s love life.


I was wrong. Yes, this is definitely a bawdy physical comedy, and yes it’s totally a guy’s film, but it’s also a charming, funny movie that shows good dating tips while many of the male characters give lousy ones. No, it’s not perfect (like most movies these days it has scenes that make no real sense) but it has a heart of gold, and takes a very humorous look at what odd fears and behaviors we humans have about love and sex.

The biggest message (and something we’re always doing our best to warn you about at Seduction Insider) is that if you don’t take concious control of your life, life will take control of you – and it probably won’t be a heck of a lot of fun. That’s exactly what’s happened to the main character Andy (our hero) in “The 40 Year Old Virgin.” Played with almost unrecognizably uptight, straight-laced nerdiness by Steve Carroll of The Office fame (who also co-wrote the movie) our hero Andy Stitzer is in very sad shape sexually and romantically.

When we meet Andy he’s a very kind, attractive (though he has no clue), fit man who’s nice to his elderly neighbors (they have a standing date to watch “Survivor” and totally conscientious about his job as a technician at a local electronics store. He’s also emotionally stuck in about 8th or 9th grade. He rides a bike to work and has never learned to drive; his apartment (though neat and tidy) is like a toy store – full of action figures, action figure posters, and a chair specially made to make the supreme video game experience possible. He has absolutely no social life and spends his free time playing the tuba, exercising on his home gym equipment, and playing online games. He is stiff and shy to the point that you’re afraid one of his raging morning erections might just snap off.

We laugh at Andy because he represents far too much truth to ignore – we all feel shy and awkward and stuck in the past at times. And many of us, like Andy, live there all the time while progress zooms on around us.

Invited to join his male co-workers (who usually ignore him but who are desperate for enough players) in a game of poker after work one night Andy impetuously says “yes” and his life is never the same. Once it slips that he’s a virgin (he gives himself away when he refers to a woman’s breast as feeling like a bag of sand) his male co-workers take his virginity as a challenge that they’re going to help him conquer.

Andy (and rightfully so with this oddball group of new friends) is full of even more fear and trepidation at the prospect, but they don’t take “no” for an answer. Suddenly Andy is at the mercy of the advice of three men who, though they aren’t virgins, aren’t really doing so much better in the romance or sex department than he is. Which is one of the movies wisest ploys. We’re a society that loves to give advice, but most of us aren’t that great at using that good advice ourselves.

One of the second wisest points the movie makes is that whenever we fear something we give it huge power over our lives. In Andy’s case he’s done his best to shut sex out of his life because his few possible sexual encounters in the past have ended in hilarious disasters. His male co-workers share that he can’t keep putting the pussy on a pedestal. They’re right. Andy, like many men, has confused respecting women with being terrified of the mysteries of sex, and the almost overwhelming allure the female body has for heterosexual men. Respecting women is great, but trying to shut down your libido is just going to backfire on you.

Go ahead and own that you’re a man and that your DNA has been wired to want to immerse yourself in the pleasures the female body can provide. Just don’t be an ignorant, selfish jerk about it and only be about your own pleasure.

But back to our movie.

At the same time Andy is being dragged out to nightclubs and various singles situations by his male co-workers who give him the old adage of “needing to bag babes that are easy in order to test the waters,” he also meets the beautiful, hip, but almost as nervous as he is Trish (the gorgeous Catherine Keener who seemed to burst on the scene out of nowhere in “Being John Malkovitch”) when he’s forced to work the sales floor at his job. Trish, like many women, has sewn her wild oats (she’s not only a mother of three, her oldest daughter has a baby making Trish one hot grandma) and is finally ready to give a nice man a chance when she meets Andy.

What the movie does a good job of showing is that Andy has some great qualities going for him that women find very attractive – he’s got a good sense of humor, he gets along brilliantly with her children, he’s willing to engage and relate to her kids on their own level, he’s a great cook, and reliable. Trish, like many women, is willing to over look his toy collection and his inability to drive because Andy knows how to show up and “be there.” They have fun together.

And I hate to say it, but I feel I have to – if Andy wasn’t really a diamond in the rough – that is in great shape, attractive but doesn’t know it, funny but not trying to be, and very neat and tidy, Trish would not be so into him – these are points that many many single men just don’t get. If they really feel great, hot women should love them “as is” even when their “as is” is in far less desirable shape then the woman’s (and I mean not only physically, but mentally, financially and emotionally as well). But to be fair there are many single women who feel the same thing.

In the end it isn’t Andy’s virginity that’s a problem to Trish at all – but the fact that he’s allowed himself to be frozen in time. And that’s the same for most of us, the issue that we give so much power to, that which keeps us from jumping in and living the life we dream of, is really all in our head.

And yes, the movie does have a happy ending, and Andy does finally lose his virginity, but you’ll have to go see the movie to find out how.

;-)

Why Are Beautiful Women Different?

By David Deangelo

*NOTE*

This is written by a guy residing in L.A. where beautiful women equates to either a Model, an Actress, or a Lap Dancer. DO NOT get angry over his generalization of what constitutes a beautiful woman !

--------

Beautiful Women are Different.....

Or are they?

I get a lot of emails from guys who ask me what they should do, because they've met an UNUSUALLY attractive woman. It seems that most men intuitively guess that they need to do something SPECIAL with a REALLY hot woman...something different than they'd usually do.

If you are going to date BEAUTIFUL women, there are a few things that you should keep in mind.

First of all, they are still WOMEN.

So the concepts and techniques that you've learned from me will still apply. But there are a few things that you will want to remember when you're dealing with the UNUSUALLY attractive women:

1) She's likely to be or have been a model, an
actress, or a dancer (topless or otherwise).

When a woman goes through the experience of these professions, certain things occur like clockwork.

First of all, she's quickly realizes that these industries are all filled with sleazy, opportunistic men who are REALLY in it for the sex. This provides a unique sort of education for a woman, as she gets to practice "playing against" some of the best "players" out there. These men have often been in the industry for many years, and have learned and created specific techniques for manipulating women... and getting sex from them.

After just a few months or a year in the business, most women come out the other side with a different perspective on men.And they come out SMARTER. They know how to detect a man who is trying to tell stories just to get sex. One of the skills these women also learns is how to make a man feel INSTANTLY uncomfortable if she doesn't want to talk to him. It's a natural, normal defense mechanism, and beautiful women are usually very good at it.

If she has been a topless dancer, then you can bet on a couple of things... One, she's not going to tell you up front about it. Two, she's going to have some issues when it comes to connecting with other human beings on a "real" level. Dancers have to learn how to ACT like real people, while disconnecting their actual true selves from the interactions. It's usually not a good thing.

2) Beautiful women have more choices, but this often
means that they're also bored.

Most guys assume that a really beautiful woman is only interested in tall, rich, handsome men.

Well, these things certainly don't hurt. But guess what?

Just like anything else, the novelty wears off for beautiful women. Sure, it's nice to be 19 years old and riding around in a Mercedes, going to dinner at nice places, etc. But beautiful women are still people, and people get bored with things quickly.

It doesn't take long after you have everything you want... before you start wanting things just because you CAN'T HAVE THEM.

More on this in just a moment.

3) Beautiful women are used to being treated special
because of their physical beauty, and not appreciated for their minds or talents.

Beauty creates distance.

The more beautiful a woman is (or makes herself with makeup, clothing, hairstyles, and other "enhancements") the more difficult it becomes for other humans to interact with her and communicate with her in a "normal" way.

When you start talking to a woman who has obviously spent many hours preparing herself, putting on makeup, choosing just the right outfit, doing her hair, and MOST IMPORTANTLY practicing that certain "attitude" that creates the air of untouchable beauty, YOU CAN FEEL IT.

Something is very different.

She knows it and you know it.

And she WANTS you to know it...

Beauty gives women power. It gives women power because it causes men to GIVE AWAY their power.


...so let's talk about what these things mean...and what to do about them...

How do you communicate to a model, actress or dancer that you're comfortable with them, and not intimidated by their job or beauty?

Right! Make FUN of them!

If a woman says "I'm a model", say "Oh, like a parts model or something? What, do you have sexy toes?"

If she says "I'm an actress", say "Nice, so what you're telling me is that you're a waitress, but you do some extra work on the side?"

If she's a topless dancer, say "How did you get this job? What, did you have to pay someone off?"

Joking around, busting on them, and teasing INSTANTLY communicates that you're NOT going to give them any special treatment for their "beauty job", and that, if anything, you see their job as an "average" thing to be doing.

Works like magic.

To address the issue of beautiful women having more opportunities to live "the good life" and be spoiled by men who have money, etc...

As I said, everything in life gets boring if you get too much of it.

Sooner or later, every guy in a suit and tie with a Mercedes starts to blend into the next. And all the food starts to taste the same at nice restaurants (beautiful women never order anything off the menu without changing SOMETHING anyway).

So what does a woman who has it all WANT?

She wants to be CHALLENGED.

Here's a GREAT mindset to take with a woman who seems to be a little too used to "the good life"...

Just say "You know what? You're a spoiled BRAT."

That should get her attention.

Then follow up with "It's too bad you're not more of a normal, nice girl..."

The protests should be starting by this point...

"But I AM a nice girl..."

"Suuuure you are. Me too."

Are you with me?

The message is "Just because you're spoiled and snotty, don't think you're going to get special treatment from me. In fact, it's a problem."

This creates a HUGE challenge (which attractive women love), and sets you apart from all the other "boring" guys she's been out with lately.

Will some women stick their noses up in the air and laugh at you? Sure, it will happen once in awhile.

Good. It's better sooner than later... and I mean that.

And finally, to deal with the fact that Beauty creates distance, you must be strong... you must remember that her beauty is a freak accident of nature (combined with the magic of hair and beauty products).

Best way to proceed? Don't mention or acknowledge her looks at all. Totally avoid the topic, and if she brings it up, just make fun of her. This one idea alone, or ignoring her beauty and treating her like just another friend who you're comfortable with will have a MAJOR effect.

Sometimes women will get so shaken by this that they'll start acting NERVOUS. They'll wonder if they have eyeliner running down their face, or if something else is wrong.

Here's the deal: Women can tell INSTANTLY if you're affected by their beauty. If you are, they know that they're in control.

Most beautiful women wind up CRAVING attention.

They become so used to getting massive amounts of special attention that they HAVE to have it. It becomes part of life.

And when they meet a man that is interesting, charming, funny (AND COCKY!), they take note.

Is this everything? No, but it's a damn good start.

Oh, one more IMPORTANT thing.

I'd like you to think for a moment about what it's like when you see a REALLY beautiful woman walk by.

I'm talking about the kind of woman that you only see every few MONTHS or so... maybe once a year.

Think about how you stop, look again, keep looking...

And how it makes you feel inside.

Guess what?

To that unusually beautiful woman, most men seem the same. To her, men all blur together into a big mass of compliments, offers for dates, and attention.

But there is a type of guy that REALLY makes her stop, do a double take, and pay attention.

There is a type of guy that STANDS OUT... the kind of guy that comes along maybe every few months...or maybe only once a year.

The question I have for you is...

WILL YOU BE THAT GUY?

Or are you going to just be another one of the dozens and hundreds and thousands of guys that just stand and stare... or give away their power in hopes that this goddess will see fit to bless you with even a pinch of her attention?

Hitch – Can Will Smith Teach You to be a Master Dater?

by Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2005, Seduction Insider.

“No woman wakes up in the morning not wanting to be swept off her feet that day”
– Hitch

The romantic comedy Hitch is now out on DVD. So does that mean the suave and charming Will Smith (who plays the character of Alex Hitchens aka ‘Hitch’ the Date Doctor) can teach you how to land the woman of your dream in only three dates the way he claims in the movie?

Yes and no. Unfortunately just like most romantic comedies out of Hollywood these days this movie has large doses of pure fantasy going on – so no, I don’t think even Will Smith could teach an ordinary overweight accountant how to sweep a woman as beautiful as super model Amber Valletta off her feet the way he teaches Kevin James (yep, King of Queens funny man) in the movie – however – that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t run out and rent this movie. You should, and here are the three very good reasons why:

1. It’s a romantic comedy guys can actually get into even if it’s not on a date.

2. Yes, you will learn a few great dating tips beautifully illustrated to show you exactly how it’s done.

3. Eva Mendes is really hot.

I don’t want to ruin the movie for you so I’m not going to review the story line per se, instead I’m going to go over the actual dating tips the character of Hitch teaches his male clients during the movie:


No Woman Wakes Up in the Morning Not Wanting to be Swept Off Her Feet That Day

We are all romantic creatures (even if secretly so) and woman probably even more so than men. There are two big challenges to the romantic gesture men make in hopes of sweeping a woman off her feet:

By the weight of your expectations with a romantic gesture I mean, “what you expect to get out of it.” It’s these expectations that often ruin a possibly great moment because you’re giving in order to receive – and trust me, women can actually feel it. The men who are masters at sweeping women off their feet with their romantic gestures do so as if the gesture were “no big deal – just something he thought the woman would enjoy.” Make no mistake; this type of energy is totally different than the man who goes into a romantic gesture with the idea “I want to make her love me forever with this.”

Another way to fall flat with trying to sweep a woman off her feet with a romantic gesture is using the wrong sort of romantic gesture for the woman in question. What each of us considers romantic if a pretty personal thing, sure there are the old stand byes like roses and candlelight, but the type of romantic gesture that really sweeps a woman off her feet is one that takes her personal taste totally into account. That’s when you make the big brownie points.

You Cannot Use What You Do Not Have

This is an excellent point. While you can certainly learn new skills and improve on old ones, trying to make yourself into a whole new person just isn’t going to work. Either you won’t pull it off with any finesse, or sooner than you’d think the old you is going to pop out and ruin the effect. Focus on perfecting skills that are really important to your entire life rather than trying to master something (like say, bull riding or tango dancing) just to impress one woman you’re really hot for.

60% of Communication is Non-Verbal, 30% is Tone

I am so happy they made a big point of this in the movie! It’s so very true. There are so many men who lose with a woman just as they’re coming out of the starting gate because both their approach and tone kill any interest a woman might have in them because, well, it sucks. Many men lose by being too darn aggressive thinking a forceful manner is going to prove they’re real men. This can really turn a woman off because it shows you might be aggressive all the time and woman have to constantly consider their safety.

And no matter how hot it is to sell the “cocky & funny” approach out there it just doesn’t work with every woman. Here’s the thing, you should already know by now if “cocky & funny” works for you. What do I mean by this? If everyone laughs at your jokes, if you were the wise guy who got out of detention with your female teacher because of you could make her laugh, than you can probably use “cocky & funny” on women and it’ll work – if you’re not this sort of guy learn a different approach.

How to Communicate Successfully with Women? Listen and Respond

Yep, you’ve got to stop your drooling, stop your eyes wandering, and stop imagining her naked in your bed (Hitch is telling you this as well as all of us here at SeductionInsider.com and Dating Insider to boot) and pay attention to what she’s actually saying and respond appropriately. If you’re actually checked in and paying attention it’s relatively easy to have a great conversation with a woman.

Far too many men allow their physical enthrallment with a woman make them into space cadets, and far too many others use a conversation on a date as bragging rites. Keep it simple. Listen and respond.

The Secret to the First Kiss is to Go 90% of the Way and Hold…

Great great tip and there’s a truly hilarious scene when Hitch teaches Kevin’s character exactly how this is done. Why this rule works? Because by going 90% of the way for a kiss a man makes it very obvious what he’s after without going so far forward the woman can reject him. A woman can still duck out without the guy losing face, but only a completely dense woman won’t understand what he’s all about…but leaving the 10% for her to travel means that when she leans in that last bit she really wants to be kissed. And isn’t that exactly what you want to know?

My Guilty Pleasure

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
It has been many moons since my last confession.

Why, worry not my dear son, for the Lord is Merciful upon his subjects... pray tell what are the recent transgressions that bothers you so ?

Father....I worry that I have committed the final violation known to man.. the 7th Sin....

Nay ! Lord in High Heavens ! Dinnae say you have... did you...

Aye Father... I have... I've committed the most heinous crime known to man...

What is it my dear son...tell me, so I can pray to our Lord high above us, may he look down upon your troubled soul and bid thee forgiveness. Be it Murder? Rape?Bribery?

Nay Father...nothing so trivial... nay my sin is big...far more heinous and degenerate....for which I am eternally shameful and sorry for.... for I have...I have.... started SMOKING in the past few months...

Good Lord Almighty !
Betrayer !!! Return to the path of the righteous my son before it is too late for thee.... Return to the path of the living, for what you seek right now only leads to an early and painful death...

Aye Father...you are right... Good God (!) all this begging for forgiveness is making me damn stressed... I need a smoke...d'ya happen to have a lighter on ya, padre ?

Most assuredly my son, let me grab my lighter in a mo'...I swear I left it somewhere under these voluminous robes of mine along with my Malboro Reds...

Hallelujah ! Praise the Lord Above... Amen my brother, Amen...

;-p

D-I-Y Smokes

Aye dear readers...your eyes didnae desert you just now... I have indeed started smoking.

Now for most of you that don't know me personally, it'll just be a normal occurence in life. So wtf is wrong with this guy neways ?? People start or stop smoking every day of the week... what makes YOU so special, buster ?

Well humble readers...being the son of a Cardiologist (that's Heart Specialist for you non-Latin speaking folks) I've been taught from day one the dangers of smoking...I know all the data, all the statistics, I have mental pictures of what smoking can do to your lungs and arteries, etc.

You could say I'm the poster boy for the No-Smoking campaign......

Until recently when a bastard friend of mine introduced me to my current Weapon of Choice : Sampoerna Menthol Lights....

Wicked Delights

The crisp menthol taste is just light enough for my beginner-level throat and the addition of cloves and sugar with the kretek gives off a sweet aftertaste on your lips after each drag of the fag.

Yes..I am NOW the poster boy for Sampoerna Menthol Lights....

Good God...I'm SUCH a hypocrite... I'm so stressed !

I *need* a smoke. D'ya got a light on ya mate ??

;-)

Cars, Cars, Cars!

My father did the unthinkable and bought me a brand new bad-ass set of wheels for my 25th birthday.

Yeah...... right !!!

Not even on a chilly winter day in Hell ..... ;-p

Dozer

Seriously tho'.... we both have joint custody of the new 'car'. It running on diesel and all, Dozer is going to be way, way, cheaper on the wallet than my first love : Ol' Betsy (the gas-guzzling 20+ yr old byeotch of a machine).

Ol' Betsy

She takes forever to get started (at least 3-4 twist of the ignition everytime) and the body is SO heavy that you can barely do 160-180 on the highway before everything in the car starts rattling while Betsy starts coughing like a WW1 veteran who's ill with TB. At least she's superb for hounding annoying Protons and Perodua's off the fast lane on the highway tho'...once she's up to speed she's like a battering ram cum war tank.... unstoppable and invincible !

Mac-Daddy!

The jewel in the auto-family however, is my Da's Z3.... the car that I one would one day, hopefully inherit ! (God-willing)

Every weekend it's the same story... father and son would be fighting over the car keys to this hot ride like two kids just out of kindergarten.... then again, it sure is a babe-magnet so you can forgive two grown men (one in his late-50s nonetheless) fighting over who gets to drive it during the weekend, non ?

;-)

Why Are Most Men Losers in Love ?

By David Deangelo

First, a thought from an old friend of mine:

"Men allow themselves to be completely controlled by something the size of a quarter."

Are you with me?

I get emails from guys by the dozens, no, probably by the HUNDREDS, that say some version of:

"David, I need your help. My girlfriend left me, and I want to get her back... please help, this is really important." ...or the other related dilemma... "David, I really need your help. There's this girl that I REALLY REALLY like, and I need some special magic technique to get her."

Now, I may be stupid, but I'm not dumb. Underneath many of these cries for help lies THIS idea:

"David, I am out of control. I have given my power and control to a woman who has left already/isn't here yet and feel immobilized and desperate. Please help me get this woman so I can feel OK again."

I know you've probably never felt this way. Me either. ...lol...

I can still remember when my girlfriend who lived 2,000 miles away broke up with me because she wanted to date other guys. I actually dropped everything in my life, got on a GREYHOUND BUS, and rode for three days to go beg for her to take me back. And you can probably guess what happened...

Right.

She played with my head, and sent me home on another bus a few days later. Now, this was about 10 years ago. Thank God I can afford to fly these days. Those buses are nasty!

But I digress...

So what was my point?

Who knows.

My point was that I was controlled by the quarter!

For some unexplainable reason, when I heard that she wanted to break up, I went into a semi-crazy mental state, and lost touch with reality. I started acting like getting the quarter back was the most important thing in the world. And at that time, it was.

And why was it so important?

Ah hah! Ahhh Hahhh! BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID THAT IF SHE LEFT I MIGHT NOT FIND ANOTHER ONE!

For some reason, it seems to me that when a guy either :

1) Meets a woman that he REALLY likes, or

2) Has a girlfriend leave him...

he goes into some kind of hallucination that he must have her at all cost, or else he'll be unhappy for eternity.

Now, here's an interesting question: "Do women know this?"

And if so, do they ever use this particular quirk of male social and biological programming to their benefit?

Hmmmm...

So let's get back to the letter from the angry woman in the mailbag. Stop for a minute and ask yourself... "What got this woman so upset?"

Here's my guess:
1. She benefits if men give her what she wants.

2. It's much easier for her to get what she wants if men buy into this whole "Only have sex with women who you're in a committed relationship with" idea.

3. MOST IMPORTANTLY, if men realize that they don't really NEED a woman (or sex, for that matter) to be happy and fulfilled, and if they stop buying into this social conditioning of "Take her on dates, buy her things, give her what she wants, and then if you're lucky she'll chose to give you sex at some point" then the GAME IS OVER.

Sometimes women get really upset when I let the cat out of the bag... lol...

Now, I'm really belaboring a point here... and probably beating a horse that's almost dead... but I REALLY want to emphasize something. Most of us guys walk around ASLEEP, and we wake up only when we're in trouble. Instead of working out our insecurities and fears in ADVANCE, so we can be strong in the tough moments, we wait until the situation is desperate, then try to run around and find a quick fix. And we put WAAAAAY too much power in the hands of women, when we should just relax and keep our power for ourselves.

If I would have been wiser when my girlfriend called to tell me that she was breaking up with me, I would have said "Great. If you want to see other people, have fun. I'll talk to you later." And then I should have gone out and met three other nice women the next day and gotten on with my life. She would have called a week or two later to "see how I was doing", and I would have said "I'm great. I've met a couple of nice girls, and I'm getting on with my life. Talk to you later" which, of course, would have made her want more than ANYTHING to get me back.

And if the guys who write me day in and day out who feel desperate because their girlfriend has left them, or because they've met a girl that they just HAVE to have would just CHILL OUT and realize that the very act of giving away their power like this almost GUARANTEES that they aren't going to get what they want, they'd start doing better.

By the way, it might sound like I'm coming across a little strong here. Sometimes I might sound like I think that there is some kind of huge conspiracy against men, and that women are the enemy. Not so. I just believe that there's a lot more going on than we're willing to face. And if we take the time, we can get FAR better results when dealing with women (and ourselves as well).

To wrap up: This commentary has been all over the map, yet I feel like I've made my point clear (in a foggy sort of way). When I sat down to write my book "Double Your Dating", I really wanted to create something that helped other guys realize how important it is to understand the psychology of what's going on in male/female interactions. And I wanted to show them a new perspective based on YEARS of my personal mistakes and experiments... a perspective that would make them FEEL DIFFERENT inside, and FEEL LIKE THEY COULD BE EMPOWERED WHEN IT CAME TO WOMEN AND DATING.

I don't teach men to be jerks, I teach them to be challenging. I don't teach them to be abusive, I teach them to be cocky, funny, and attractive. There are a lot of pieces to the puzzle, but once you start to put them together, you start to see things the way they REALLY are, rather than seeing them through the eyes of desperation and neediness.

Now go buy my book!

;-p

Why Women Don't Make Sense!

By David Deangelo

Have you ever noticed that women don't seem to make sense AT ALL when it comes to "dating"?

What's up with that?

I'm sure you've been in a situation where you really liked a woman, and you did everything "right"... but for some reason she just never felt attracted to you...

You called her often, took her to nice places, bought her gifts, and were a complete gentleman (translation, you didn't try to kiss her, gave her space, etc.)... but nothing seemed to cause her to like you for more than just a "friend"...

And I'm sure you've been in a situation where a TOTALLY HOT female friend of yours was dating a complete jerk who was mean and abusive to her... and all she did was tell you about how badly he treats her (and of course she talks about the sex too)... all the while you're sitting there and would do ANYTHING just to have a chance at dating her. Right?

What is going on here?

Why is it that when you're overly nice to a woman in the beginning, it just causes them to be less and less interested?

And why is it that jerky guys who mistreat women seem to get laid like Rock Stars, even though they are the WORST possible choice for an attractive woman?

This is a fascinating question to me.

In fact, I've spent the last four or five YEARS thinking about this one and other related questions. It's funny, because when you first ask a question like this one, you can come up with some "OK" answers.

But now that I've taken the time to REALLY think about it, research it, and look DEEPER into the topic, I've realized and found some FASCINATING answers.

But more importantly, I've come up with ways that any guy can take advantage of the secrets that "jerks" use to attract women... without having to be abusive.

OK, so let's talk about some of these concepts that I've been working on.

I can remember when I used to call women all the time, take them out, and generally show them that I was VERY interested in them when I first met them. I was REALLY a "nice" guy.

And you can guess what happened. Exactly...

They would always be nice to me, say that they appreciated what I had done, and accept my calls...

BUT I NEVER SENSED THAT THEY FELT ANY KIND OF ATTRACTION FOR ME.

Something just never felt quite right.

I always felt this little tension... as if the woman KNEW that I was interested, but for some reason THAT VERY FACT was the thing that kept her from feeling the same in return.

It was as if the more I tried to get a woman to like me, the less she would.

IT JUST DIDN'T MAKE SENSE!

Why wouldn't a woman choose to like me when I was such a nice guy?

Was it my looks? Or the fact that I didn't make a lot of money? Or that I didn't have a nice car?

Well, I've since realized something...

Women don't CHOOSE at all who they are attracted to.

ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.

Attraction is something that happens virtually on its own... WITHOUT ANY CONSCIOUS DECISION AT ALL.

Most people have a hard time accepting the idea that they're not in control of themselves.

I just read in a marketing book today that some experts estimate that over 95% of ALL decisions aren't made consciously.

In other words, less than 5% of all the "decisions" that people make were ALREADY MADE FOR THEM by their minds, and they're just trying to pretend that it was their idea!

Well, when it comes to women and ATTRACTION, things are no different.

Ask a woman why she's attracted to a certain guy, and she'll answer "Oh, he's such a sweetheart" or "He's really a great guy" or whatever.

I personally believe that if you could get a woman to stop and think about it for a minute, the REAL answer would be something like "I have no frickin' idea whatsoever. I just feel an emotion that makes me crave being with him, and then I justify it with my mind so I can EXPLAIN it to myself and everyone else so I don't sound crazy."

Whoa.

That's heavy.

But if you take a look around, it's not NEARLY as heavy as REALITY. Think about all of the women you've known who were smart, attractive, and interesting. Now think about all of those women who dated abusive, insensitive losers who did nothing but take from them... and how the women just dealt with it and kept dating them.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Well, the answer is somewhat complex.

A combination of evolutionary pressures, cultural and religious programming, and the magical way the mind works creates a very unique and interesting puzzle.

But let me tell you one thing about this puzzle.

When you're first learning how to be successful with women and dating, you must put aside all of your past ideas and conditioning for awhile.

You have to pretend that you don't know ANYTHING about how women work... and play a little game.

Instead of doing what you THINK should work, try doing what ACTUALLY works.

When you have this mindset, you'll TRY different things, JUST TO SEE WHAT WORKS.

Instead of saying "Oh, that won't work", just try it.

I was out with a good friend of mine one time. We were at the mall walking around, and I was showing him how easy it is to meet women.

We went into a fancy store, and walked up to a girl who was selling makeup. He started a conversation with her, and I watched.

She was laughing, and he was doing fine.

But you know that point in a conversation with a woman where you both know that something needs to happen?

She needed to get back to work, and he needed to either move on or ask for her information.

So I walked over and said "Here, let me see your hand" (she had her left hand in her pocket, and we couldn't see if she had a wedding band on).

She took her hand out, and I looked at it.

Sure enough, she had a ring on her finger. But it didn't look like a wedding band to me.

So I pointed at it and said "So does this ring mean something? Or is it just to ward-off dumb
asses?"

She started laughing.

Here's the good part...

I looked at my friend and said OUT LOUD "See, that's how you find out if she's single. I've got a line for everything..." and I laughed.

Then we asked her if she had a card, and made fun of her for not having an email address... of course, my friend walked away with her info.

Now, the funny part of this story is that most guys would CRINGE if they even THOUGHT of saying something like "See, that's how you find out if she's single..." etc. right to a woman's face.

But she found the humor and arrogance quite funny and charming.

What I'm trying to say is that you need to put aside your ideas about what women respond to when it comes to ATTRACTION... and start doing what WORKS, instead of what you THINK SHOULD WORK.

Remember, WOMEN DON'T MAKE SENSE.

If you keep trying to think about it and get them to make sense in your mind, you're going to keep going in circles and chasing your tail.

Success with women really comes down to learning a new way to think about women, then combining it with the actual techniques that cause women to feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION.

Once you start using the techniques in the real world, in real situations, you start to get a FEEL
for how this whole thing works. And once you start to see how successful you can be, it encourages you to start doing more "illogical" things.

Good luck!

;-)

Damansara Uptown : Night Life

I headed down to Damansara Uptown a few weekends ago.

This place never ceases to amaze me. It's a melting pot of Western culture and Eastern sensibilities.

In other words, you can practically find ANY pirated good you'd like to purchase here from pirated DVDs and music CDs to fake watches, jeans & shoes, clothes, specs and shades, bags & pouches, etc.

This tends to attract Malaysians from all walks of life; but these days, more and more of the Mat Rempit (Local Biker Gangs) crowd.

High fashion has indeed trickled down to the masses ladies and gentleman, looking at the number of fake Guccis, Pradas, and Rolexes on sale.

Specs Galore!


Bags & Pouches


Fake Shoes


Fake Watches


Ringtone Seller

Only in Malaysia can a guy set up a stall with only a table and a laptop then start selling ringtones, wallpaper, videos and other multimedia goodness for handphones. That's the Malaysia Boleh spirit in action!

Henna Tattooist


Interior decor


Local Shaman

Besides the regular fake goods, you also get the odd stall or two trading in wares ranging from henna tattoos, to interior decor lamps, to even local shamans perpetuating the belief that they can cure illnesses and sell viagra like ointments (I HAVE NOT actually tested any of this products btw!) ;-p

So head down to Damansara Uptown the next time you are in the neighbourhood and marvel at the wonders on display!

How To Act When A Woman Likes You

by David Deangelo

One of the most important things to understand as a MAN is what to do when things are WORKING... so you don't SCREW IT UP!

Now, when a woman does something that signals "I like you", it is VITALLY important that you:

1) Know how to recognize it

2) DON'T do what MOST guy do

3) DO the right thing, and AMPLIFY it

So how can you tell if a woman is doing something that says "I like you"?

Well, it's VERY important to remember that women are far more "subtle" than men (most of the time, that is). If a man is interested in a woman, you can see it all over his face. It's usually very obvious. But women are different. Women do SMALL things. A little touch. A sly smile. Sometimes a comment like "You're so cute".

But then IT'S GONE. Women always seem to act like they're not quite sure. They don't send consistent signals that most men can "read". And when they DO send signals that are easy to see, most guys respond in a way that makes those signals stop...which makes things even MORE confusing.

Again, women aren't as CONSISTENT as men. A woman can seem like she's interested one minute, then stand-offish the next.

So rule #1 is:

JUST BECAUSE SHE'S DOING SOMETHING THAT SAYS "I LIKE YOU",
DON'T THINK THAT IT MEANS "I LIKE YOU NO MATTER WHAT".

Much better to interpret subtle "I like you" cues as "I like you for a second, but if you start acting like a Wuss Bag or Dumb Ass, it will all be over in an instant".

Unfortunately for most guys, they take "I like you" signals to mean "You've won my approval, now you can do whatever you want". And what do they do?

Of course... They turn into dorks, say or do a few stupid things, and destroy it all.

Oh, how many times I've watched guys (myself included) screw up perfectly good situations because they just didn't get this concept.

Let me give you an example. Let's say that you're out with a woman, and you've been teasing her, and she smiles and says "I like you". A typical "male" response is for a guy to think to himself "OK, I'm in... she digs me" and to get that rush in the head and chest. Next thing you know, he's acting different. He's talking about different things. He's giving compliments. He's being "nicer".

And what's the woman thinking while this is all going on? Of course... she's thinking "Uh oh, his cool, calm, interesting personality was just a cover for the secret inner-Wuss that was hiding out, waiting for a little bit of approval from me... AHHHHHH!"

Women KNOW that they're in CONTROL of the situation.

Or at least MOST of the time they are... and they THINK that they are even during the times when they're not.

They're constantly using different kinds of communication to test and "feel out" the situation. Remember, MOST of the time when you're saying something that you think is nice, charming, and original, it's something that a woman has heard about 47 times that week from other guys. Us guys act VERY predictably most of the time. And women know how to tell if you're just another loser who's pretending to be cool... who will turn into an average Wuss at the first sign of attraction from a cute woman.

Think about what I just said. This is hard for a lot of guys to swallow... but it's the reality of the situation.

There's something that women call "Sexual Tension". It's also known as "Chemistry" or "Attraction" as well. But only WOMEN know it this way. When you tease a woman, make her laugh, play hard to get with her, act unpredictably, etc. in the right way, you will create this tension. This is what usually leads to a woman saying something like "You're cute" or "I like you". It's the TENSION that makes her FEEL it and SAY it. THE TENSION!

In these very special moments, you need to turn the tension UP. Dial it up. AMPLIFY it. Don't diffuse it all by saying "You're cute yourself" or "I like you, too". Or by smiling like a jackass wussy dork who has just seen his first rainbow. This kind of thing RELEASES the tension, and it usually takes that wonderful electric attraction feeling that the woman is feeling and INSTANTLY kills it.

Does this make logical sense? Hell no. But it's what happens. OK, so let's talk about the RIGHT way to handle this type of situation.

Remember when I said that it's the TENSION that makes a woman feel the feelings and make the comments? And that you need to AMPLIFY it when you're getting a positive response? Nice.

Once upon a time, there was a scene in a movie that illustrated this concept PERFECTLY. In fact, it might be the all-time greatest example of this principle that has ever been recorded on film. Remember the end of "The Empire Strikes Back" when they were about to put Han Solo into the deep freeze?

Remember when Leia said "I love you"...? Remember what Han said? Right, he said... "I know".

Perfect.

All of the sexual tension that built up in Star Wars and Empire culminated in Leia confessing her love. And Han says "I know". Awesome!

Imagine being Leia. What could be going through her mind at this point? An answer like this isn't easy to understand. It has all kinds of implications. It's confusing. It says "I know you love me, because it's been obvious for a long time...".

But it doesn't let HER know how he feels exactly.

It requires consideration. It dials up the tension. It's amazing. By the way, I read that when they were filming that scene Han was supposed to answer "I love you too", but the director didn't like it. They tried all kinds of things, and in the end Harrison Ford made up that line on the spot in one of the takes... and they kept it. Nice.

By the way, one of the BIG reasons why the newer movies in the Star Wars series suck is because there is no character like Han... think about it. It's all boring, predictable stuff. There's no sexy, arrogant, funny, wildcard personality messing things up. Like I pointed out after I saw "Attack Of The Clones", Anakin had to kill an ENTIRE VILLAGE of Sand People just to convince Princess A. that he wasn't a complete and total Wuss.

Would have been so much easier and more entertaining if he would have just had a PERSONALITY.

Whatever. Now where was I...? Oh, yea... amplifying the sexual tension... If you're out with a woman, and you tease her because she's wearing four inch heels by saying "What's the deal, are you four feet tall without those one?", and she opens her mouth with the classic "Oh no you didn't" look (smiling of course, with that surprised smile)... and you dial it up to the next level with "Oh, I'm sorry...Four foot three?"... and she hits you on the arm... ...and then she stops, puts her hand on your arm, and says "You know, you're funny"... ...what do you do?

YOU SAY "YEA, I KNOW" in a serious tone. Or "Don't try to use compliments to make me like you. It won't work. Go buy me a drink or something... I prefer gifts and money."

Or look down at her hand on your arm, lean back slightly, turn your head, and put your eyebrows together as if to say "Just WHAT do you think you're doing touching me?!".

TURN IT UP, my friend! You TURN UP the tension. AMPLIFY it. Keep it going. If you keep amplifying the tension and attraction at each of these wonderful moments, good things will happen.

Good stuff.

Work Glorious Work!

Yes, that title is what I’m currently feeling.

No, I haven't taken any drugs recently. Organic nor Manufactured.

I’m JUST really enjoying that adrenaline rush feeling you get when work creeps up suddenly from out of nowhere and you have SO little time to think about anything else but getting the job done.

The unpredictableness of breaking newsflow and how it affects the share price of the stocks under my watch just gives me a buzz.

You know what THE Buzz feels like...

Your belly does washing-machine like flip flops in anticipation.

The tips of your toes freezes all the way up to your spine in excitement.

Every breath you take is like a slow-mo effect on an action movie as your brain particles strain to digest the problem.

Your hearing and vision swing in and out of control as you try to focus on the task at hand and calm yourself from going out of control from all the hullabaloo.

Yes, I’m talking about WORK here.

Not food, not movies, not love, not sex.

WORK

Dear God shoot me now before I fully turn into a Corporate Agent (workaholic). :-p


P.S. Do you remember that scene from the Matrix when Neo and Morpheus are in the dojo simulation program ? Initially Neo got his ass whupped by M, but after awhile, he starts kicking M’s ass all over the dojo. Then Morpheus answers back with this line:

He’s STARTING to BELIEVE....

That’s where I’m at in my workplace right now. I’m done spending the last 6 months doubting about why the fuck am I here doing a job I don’t even enjoy.

It’s clear to me now...I’m here to make money (as much as possible) and LEARN how to play the stock market. The job as an Equity Analyst is JUST a means to an END:

Be a Property Mogul / Millionaire by the time I’m 40 yrs old.