The Mathematics of Love

OMG, I received this in my e-mail inbox today and thought it was SO fcukin (retardedly) hilarious that I'm posting it onto this blog for your reading pleasure:
;-p
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After countless years of studies done on the mating habits of the common man, scientists at The Institute of Inter-human Relations in La Jolla, San Diego, Calif. can now confirm the precise mathematic formulas and equations that can lead to a fulfilling long lasting relationship. This research paper aims to unravel the intricacy of man-woman relationships once and for all and put the matter to bed. The two professors who have spent the last 10 years of their life researching this topic are however unmarried and currently happily enjoying bachelordom.

They divide the mathematic theorem into equations or formulas, which consists of two parts:

The Singles Equation and the Duo Equation.

The Singles Equation (S.E.) represents what an individual can bring to the relationship in terms of their characteristics, mannerism and actions.

The Duo Equation (D.E.) on the other hand represents how both individuals react with each other, which determines the outcome of the relationship in the future.

Outcome 1: A Solid Relationship

S.E. : Confidence + Independence = Maturity & Trust

D.E. : Tension + Anticipation = Attraction

Outcome: Maturity & Trust + Attraction = A Solid Relationship

The Singles Equation
A solid relationship stems from two individuals who are matured enough emotionally and are mentally ready to experience the challenges of keeping a relationship alive. If an individual has enough inner confidence and am emotionally independent, he/she thus achieves the state of being able to function even without a significant other in their lives.

This state of being (confident & independent of needing a significant other in their life) is counterintuitive to someone actually actively looking for a mate; yet it sends all the right signals to people of the opposite sex. In effect, by not actually looking, the individuals are deemed more attractive in the eyes of the opposite sex.

This explains the old folks saying of playing hard to get; and to a certain extent why women seem to find married men more attractive. It has been scientifically proven over the years that humans are drawn to something they cannot have.

Confidence and independence are also the two traits that give an individual a certain level of maturity to trust their significant other, even when they are not around. The absence of self-doubt and jealousy is integral in keeping a relationship alive and will be covered in further detail in defining Outcome 2.

The Duo Equation
Maturity and Trust however does not ensure a solid relationship if there is no, for the lack of a better term, “spark” between the two individuals. This is where the Duo Equation comes into the picture.

The X-factor in solid relationships that have for so long eluded baffled researchers can now be revealed.

When two individuals come together, it is important to the health of their relationship that Attraction occurs. Attraction however can stem from various traits such as shared interests, shared ideologies, lust, money, fame and power. The two traits that ensure continued attraction however are tension and anticipation.

Imagine the two individuals in a relationship as participants of a tug-of-war with each person at one end of the rope. To continue to keep attraction to each other ongoing, the individuals have to continue keeping tension and anticipation going in the relationship. Tension and anticipation creates a mysterious situation where the mystique is upheld and every new revelation means something deeper to the other individual.

How is this achieved?
This goes back to the Singles equation where the individual is confident and independent enough to exist on their own; that despite being a couple, they do not impede on each other’s personal space more than allowed by the other individual. At this juncture, this is such an abstract idea to comprehend, however the anti-thesis of Attraction as revealed Outcome 2 should give you a better idea of what tension and anticipation is all about.

Using the tug-of-war example; a constant give and take from both sides ensures the rope is constantly tense and not on the floor. Once the rope becomes slack (due to one side giving too much) that is the point of the relationship where the attraction is lost. Therefore, it is not an easy task indeed to have a healthy relationship. It requires both individuals to be constantly active in giving and taking and not too much of either way to ensure the rope does not snap nor go slack.

It is this eternal dance of giving and taking (pulling the rope to and fro) which keeps the attraction going and the relationship interesting.

Outcome
In summary, when you have Maturity and Trust from both individuals and that fleeting unexplainable X-factor called Attraction; the logical outcome is a solid relationship strong enough to weather the storms and challenges in the future.

Outcome 2: A Recipe For Disaster

S.E.: Insecurity + Attention-Seeking = Wussiness & Drama

D.E.: Unchallenging Obedience + Over-Accommodating = Boredom

Outcome: Wussiness & Drama + Boredom = A Recipe For Disaster

The Singles Equation
In a relationship where it looks like a train wreck waiting to happen, it stems from the S.E. and D.E. that are fundamentally flawed.

An individual possessing the traits in the following S.E. are not mentally and emotionally prepared for a secure adult relationship and either fall into it through curiosity, force of habit, societal pressure, or other irrelevant reasons.

Insecurity is the opposite state of being confident. An insecure individual needs constant validation from the people around them in the form of emotional, mental, monetary, or any other type of support in order to feel good about themselves. This leads to our second trait: attention-seeking. In effect, attention seeking is the after-effect of being insecure about the individual’s own strengths and weaknesses.

Both Insecurity and Attention seeking culminates together to form Wussiness and Drama.

A short aside: Wussiness is a local American slang for “being emotionally weak.” Despite not having scientific connotations in any form, we deem it short and apt enough in implying our ideas. Thus the street slang is used in this academic discussion.

The opposite state of Maturity and Trust; Wussiness and Drama results in an individual who clings onto the other individual in the relationship thus actually lessening any initial attraction they initially had. This creates a vicious cycle where the insecure individual would create more drama and be more wussy with the mistaken idea that by doing so; their significant other would care for them more.

The Duo Equation
Even though one individual has a positive S.E. as explained in Outcome 1 of Confidence & Independence thus creating Maturity & Trust; all it needs to create a relationship fraught with disaster, is a negative S.E. from the significant other (as explained above).

The individual with the flawed S.E. as explained above, will create within the D.E. the two traits of Unchallenging Obedience and Over Accommodating. In their flawed minds (which is emotionally and mentally insecure) they think that by agreeing to every demand or wants from their significant other; it will create a tighter bond between them. In reality, being unchallengingly obedient and over accommodating only results in boredom and a reduction of any initial attraction previously created.

To give you a better visual idea, go back to the tug-of-war example given earlier.

When one side has unchallenging obedience and being over accommodating; this means one end of the rope is giving in too much; way more than the other end is taking. This results in the rope going slack (and hitting the floor) thus losing tension and killing any attraction whatsoever.

At the end of the day, it is regular human nature to walk away from something that is too easily attainable.

Outcome
The Wussiness & Drama creates a pervading clinginess in the individual, which gradually pushes away their significant other. Add the element of Boredom and the eventual outcome is a train wreck of a relationship bound for disaster; rife with jealousy, lust-filled affairs, backstabbing or two-timing, and finally heartbreak.

Summary
In closing, we are overjoyed that our research paper have unraveled the intricacies of human relationships using the power of mathematics and science. We sincerely believe our formula would be beneficial towards the future of human existence and am awaiting our nomination for the Noble Peace prize any day now.

Film Review: The Machinist

The Machinist in my humble opinion is one big mind-fcuk.

It’s been awhile in my recent memory since I have actively watched movies beyond the pure pleasure of enjoying them; that I’ve seen such a well-constructed piece of human drama that leaves me reeling with questions and a mad desire to know more as every second develops.

This film evokes a sense of fcuked-upness similar to watching bizarre constructs of modern cinema such as any David Lynch movie (Mulholland Drive, Twin Peaks), Richard Kelly’s Donnie Darko, Alejandro Amenabar’s Open Your Eyes (later adapted into English as Vanilla Sky by Cameron Crowe), the French shock movie Irreversible, or Christopher Nolan’s breakout movie Memento.

For his debut movie, the director Brad Anderson shows much promise in the future by creating a tense psychological thriller; from the way he handles the camera to how he lights each scene; evoking a sense of dread and making the viewer constantly question just where the hell is this story taking us to?

Kudos must also go to Christian Bale who lost A LOT of weight to end up as the skeletal protagonist the film focuses on. Since it’s a psychological thriller with a twist ending (I’ve said enough already lest I spoil the ending!) I’ll just gloss over the film’s premise.

Basically Christian Bale is Trevor Reznik, a blue collar worker that works at a factory (where he is..dum de dum…here it comes.. a Machinist!). In the past few months, he has been having trouble getting sleep (insomniac) and gradually turning thinner as each day passes by. It becomes so much of a problem that he starts alienating the people at work and his only salvation is Stevie, a hooker played by Jennifer Jason Leigh and Marie, a Latino waitress (Aitana Sanchez-Gijon) that works at an airport cafe Reznik frequents during his hours off work.

The antagonist for the movie, Ivan played by John Sharian, starts entering Reznik’s life as a fellow co-worker at the factory he works at. However, no one else that works there knows whom Reznik is referring to. Soon Reznik starts seeing things and fcuked up stuff occurs from a freak accident on the factory floor resulting in a decapitation to post-it notes being left on Reznik’s fridge.

What is reality? What is fantasy? Is this all a result of an insomniac’s hallucinations?

If you are game for an engaging psychological thriller which asks its audience to be sharp at each and every second to piece all the clues together…then go ahead and watch the Machinist. I’m sure you will leave the cinema satisfied.

If you are an average Malaysian cinemagoer however, stick to the local comedies or basic mindless American fare, buddy. That’ll save you your hard-earned RM 10 and 2 hours of your simple-minded misbegotten life!

;-p

MTV : Pimp My Ride!

There is only one love in my heart. And it is for you....'Ol Betsy! ;-p

Ol' Betsy

'Ol Betsy has been under the care of my family for the past 10 years. I still remember picking her up from Port Klang with my father exactly ten years ago (Has it been that long my dear Betsy?) as it arrived safely from UK after spending a month in shipment.

Hailing from Birmingham, with a make of 1985; this ol' jalopy of mine has been thru alot.

From long distance trips back to Kelantan, down the coast to Johor & Singapore; and all around the backstreets of KL.

Pimp My Ride!

She was the first car I drove directly after getting my driver's license.

I gotta say I put her thru multiples bumps and scrapes in my first year of driving with a P license.Ya-lah...imagine learning how to drive using a minutely small Perodua Kancil only to graduate onto a hulking menace of a Mercedes!

I had problems seeing the front of my car let alone gauging how far away I should be from the car directly in front of me!

Retro Rider

Now that I'm in my second year as a working joe, I've managed to pamper Betsy with some bling-bling from a new CD/MP3 player in the car, to new stereos at the back, to new 16-inch wheels with spankin brand new rims.

'Ol Betsy, I'll drive you till the day you die (and go to that little scrap heap up in the sky). You'll always by my first, my last, my everything. (Getting a lil' bit sappy here over a chunk of metal aren't I ?) ;-p

My only wish for you is that MTV Asia would do an Asian version of MTV: Pimp My Ride and send Xzibit to my house so he can do you up with all the extra bling-bling and mad gears, West Coast style.

Oh, one can always dream, eh?

F-E-A-R

The Litany Against Fear

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

Bene Gesserit Mantra, the Dune Saga, Frank Herbert, 1965

The excerpt above is taken from my favourite sci-fi book ever: The Dune Saga written by Frank Herbert. If J.R.R. Tolkein is considered the Father of Fantasy with his voluminous Lord of the Rings Saga, I consider Frank Herbert his sci-fi counterpart; and thus the Father of Sci-Fi.

Granted, other people might disagree with me and claim other sci-fi greats such as Isaac Asimov or some other legendary sci-fi writer holds the right to be called the Father of Sci-Fi. Yet I seriously believe the depth and richness of Herbert’s works borders on the insane in terms of detail and well thought out environs.

IMHO Tolkien is the only one worthy of challenging him in terms of world building, and how much detail he has figured out for his space opera cast.

Anyway what does this passage have to do with today’s post?

Well….I am living in fear right now.

Adrenaline is coursing thru my veins, putting my brain on a constant high and my body permanently in a fight/flight position. I’m sweating cold bullets, and looking to and fro like a cornered animal.

Why all the stress and fear?

It’s work related and involves a big report that I’m supposed to present by Monday night. (Let’s not go into details lest I bore you all).

But Fear is good. It reminds me that I’m still alive. It reminds me to be constantly on guard.

It’s just that it’s tiring to be in this state for the next number of days until the event occurs.

I remember the last time I was in fear as much as like now. It was to give a presentation to a group of peeps.

I was having heart palpitations, frog in my throat, washing machine stomach, and I could barely take in a solid breath…just shallow breaths like a drowning rat. Sweating cold bullets like crazy. My vision started blurring.

Damn….what a ride!

After the presentation I just felt sated. Like I just came in a torrent of passion. Relaxed and doped up like high on weed. I gave my all and the fear pushed me to finish the presentation.

It wasn’t the best presentation in the world. Sure I made a lot of mistakes. Sure I couldn’t answer the Q&A parts.

The key is I faced my fear. And that’s what matters most.

'Cos after that encounter, it prompts your body ready the next time another challenge which scares the shit out of me.

Face thy fear. And once it has passed. There shall only be me. Like a rock proudly protruding against the beating waves on a beachfront.

Hehehe…the adrenaline is driving me loopily lyrical I guess!

;-p

The Penis Dialogues

If women have the Vagina Monologues, we men have the Penis Dialogues. This is what goes on when men hang out together and actually open up to each other (not that it happens frequently...we are after all the sex known to be less in touch with our true feelings and inept at emoting them effectively!).

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Two men are sitting in a stairwell, in a nondescript office building somewhere in KL, smoking on cigarettes as they chat about everything and nothing.

Steven: So how was your weekend mate?

NiK: Dude. You wouldn’t believe all the crazy shite I got up to last Friday man…

Hahaha…try me, son…I’ve been around the block a few times myself. I gotta admit since I’ve gotten married with 2.5 kids, I barely get as wild as those good ol’ days…but believe me, I’ve had my own share of fun and games.

Well…remember how I said my peeps were goin out to celebrate some chica’s birthday last Friday?

Right…I remember you mentioning that. So how was Ms. Delicious’ Duck Pasta Confitte that I recommended?

It was o.k I guess…..I mean, the Chef must’ve sprinkled too much Extra Virgin Olive Oil or summat ‘cos it felt like Maggi Goreng to me. Plus I wasn’t expecting the duck servings to be char grilled or fried. I’d have preferred boiled pieces of tender duck instead mate.

Oh well…I guess I recommended you the wrong dish then. My bad. Anyway, you’re digressing. How was the night itself?

Well…y’know… Dinner at Delicious (Ms. Read) in Bangsar Village. Followed by drinks and dancing in Bar Flams, Bangsar. Midway the birthday girl got wasted. Puked under our table. Being the only one sober (I don’t drink), I was part of the ‘rescue team’ that adjourned to one of the peeps apartment where she recuperated. We then proceeded to after-party until the early morn. Gawd, I only went to sleep at 8a.m. on Saturday morning!

Hahahaha…what I’d do to be young and brainless again! So you had fun then my son…..then why the long face?

Can I ask you something dude? I mean you’re older than me and all so I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of experiences with woman during your younger days before you got hitched, aight?

*Grins* Shoot.

Is it normal for KL women to NOT have anything in their kitchen in terms of food and stuff? I mean this woman barely has anything edible around her house except a mouldy cake and a two-week-old loaf of bread. I’m not looking for Betty Crocker to take care of my every culinary need or anything for god’s sake but that’s no frickin way to live man!!!

Which woman is this? The one that got wasted?

Nah...the one who's apartment we adjourned to since her place is the nearest.

Ahh....the one you have the hots for right?

I DON'T, i repeat, i DON'T have the hots for her, dude! We're JUST friends!!!......O.k....maybe a little....nah...a lot....fcuk I don't know anymore after last weekend man!

Hahahaha…Nik, my son…relax! You're overreacting as usual. Tell me something. How old are you right now?

Err… I just turned twenty-five last August.

*At this moment, another office mate walks into the staircase where the two men were smoking*

Jamal….tell me something. At what age did you get married?

Jamal: The big 3-0. Before that I was into everything from drinking to gambling to womanizing. But I made a promise to myself that once I hit 30, if I find the right woman I’d stop all that shit and settle down. True to my words…I met my wife 3 months before I turned 30 and boom…married her 3 months later.

Hahahaha…that’s a little excessive Jamal. But my point still stands Nik…just what are you worrying about anyway? You’re still young…you should be going out there every night and enjoying the hell out of your life mate!

Gosh, in hindsight all those women that I went after were never right for me anyway. It the ones I missed or let go that turned out to be the better ones. So what’s your problem?

Well…. I dunno dude. It’s not that I’m looking for marriage or anything man…god forbid! I’m only fcukin 25 for fecks sake! But last weekend just changed my point of view about this woman…and most KL women in general. I mean didn’t their mothers bring them up better in terms of being at least a little homely or helpful around the kitchen?

One word of advice my son….it’s a little known truth but everyone is too polite to say it out loud anyway: No one marries party girls.

I know that’s such a male chauvinist comment to make. But I have to admit men are bastards when it comes to relationships. When they wanna have fun, they go to a party girl. But when they want to settle down, they go and find a nice girl to marry. Cruel I must say…but that’s just the way the world actually works.

Just what is up with the new breed of men these days anyway? They’re like emotional pussies that are too in touch with their emotions. Heck I see younger woman these days that are more outgoing than men. They know what they want, they know how to party and they have their own money.

I guess that kind of freedom makes them find guys their own age too emotionally fragile and go after older men; even married men like me. *Grins*

Oh fcuk off Jamal…are you telling me younger women hit on you eventho’ you’re married?

Exactly BECAUSE I’m married. You see married men are more matured, less reckless and emotional, and more in touch with themselves. There’s a certain inner confidence that a married man carries with him which women just find damn irresistible.

Hahahaha…this man isn’t lying, my son. I have a friend of mine who’s two times larger than me but fcuking rich (he works as a remisier) with a hot MAS Stewardess wife. Whenever she’s away overseas he’d lug around a young beauty on his arms when we meet up for drinks. Then the next week it’d be a different young hottie. Granted him having money helps…but he has that charisma thing going y’know.

No I don’t know. And I reckon you fcukers are pulling my bloody leg. Married older men are HOT? Bollocks!

Son…you’ll just have to learn to be less emotional about life and the cards it deals you. Don’t look into settling down too fast. I mean you’re only 25!!! Enjoy life and everything it can offer you. Date multiple women. Go out. Have fun. Meet lotsa people.

Then when you hit the big 3-0. You start looking for the ONE to settle down with.

So going back to these party girls….what happens to them once they hit 28 or 30?

That’s easy. They find themselves an Ah-Mo boyfriend who doesn’t mind the fact that they’re not homely and keep on partying.

Or they hook up with older married men who are rich enough to take care of them and just want to have fun at the side.

Do any of them ever slow down and gradually change?

Son…people are different. They want different things at different times in their life. So what are you worrying about? For now, have fun and go experience as much of life as possible.

When the right times comes. You’ll know. And some women change after awhile as well…if they feel like slowing down, they’ll put more of an effort into wanting something more with you. But til’ then go out with no set preconceptions and just see where life takes you.

*Our boss walks in onto the staircase at this precise moment*

Wah lau wei…you fcukers have nothing better to do than smoke and chat the whole day thru issit? Get back to work and leave me in peace when I’m smoking!

Hahaha…yes boss! (in unison)

On Charisma : The Natural Aphrodisiac

Originally published as "The 'Sweet Science' of Charisma"
By Ray Jensen
Copyright © 2005, Seduction Insider.

Introduction:
Want to attract women with the same level of ease as the biggest movie stars and rockstars that seem to have this 'natural' gift of charisma? Why is charisma so powerful, and how have ordinary looking people (even 'ugly people') achieved such extraordinary sexual desire from the general population?

Learn the psychological principles of charisma and you can literally have the world's most gorgeous women eating out of your hand... Just ask Detroit rocker Kid Rock. Want a second opinion from someone who until a short time ago was completely unknown?

Then ask Kevin Federline how he reeled in Britney Spears...

If there's a sweet science to boxing, could there be a sweet science to charisma?

Ask a handful of amateur boxers to explain the 'sweet science' of boxing, and you're going to get a number of different replies, most kind of vague and unsure, but all of these amateurs well agree that there's something 'there', some kind of science that they're still trying to get down.

Like Amateur Boxers, Most People Don't Understand the 'Sweet Science' of Charisma, But They Agree There's Something 'There'

Ask a handful of champion boxers to explain the 'sweet science' of boxing, and you're going to get the same answer from all of them. Chin down, hands up, circle left, circle right, step in the bucket, throw combinations, jab, body punch, feint... Your foot work needs to be awesome, always keeping you balanced so you can throw any combo at any time, from anywhere in the ring. Develop fast hands... Top boxing trainers could go on and on about this for hours...

Ask top boxing trainers how they developed these skills and what specifically their fighters do in training, and they're not going to tell you. They don't want their training methods (secrets) getting out.

Charismatic 'Players' and 'Ladies men' Don't Want To Reveal Their Secrets Either

Performers in show business are the same way. These performers work on their game, some starting at an early age, until they are good enough to finally break into the scene with a small role in a B movie (some do get lucky from the get go, but that's rare). They keep rehearsing for auditions, and keep getting better. Suddenly you've got a George Clooney who evolved from a supporting character (grease mechanic) on Roseanne in the later 80's, to international movie star, as we know him now..

Like any 'true player' who knows how to attract choice women, actors work hard to develop charisma, so they can attract an audience... How to look good on camera, how to command attention, how to talk and use voice inflection, silent pauses, subtle gestures, how to be so bold and entertaining people can't turn the channel because they are so captivated by the actor's CHARISMA.

Can Charisma Be Learned?

Discussion board post in the Seduction Insider Forum Subject: Charisma can't be learnt!

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Charisma was originally a Greek word meaning gift or power.

You can't learn a gift or power. It is something you are born with. Personality and presence on the other hand, can be improved through certain techniques.

Real charisma comes out when someone for example acts totally stupid, yet people are still totally rapt in that person. It is indescribable, but you'll know it when you see someone truly charismatic, not just confident.

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For those of you who think that charisma can't be learned, you might want to take another look, and I'll cite some specific people. Donald Trump is really charismatic (and yet is well known for his sailor's mouth when he loses his temper) and so is Tommy Lee, a trash talking rockstar that has slept with two of the hottest women in modern day Hollywood (Pamela Anderson and Heather Locklear, and more than likely quite a few more than that, including a number of Hugh Hefner's Playboy Bunnies at the Playboy Mansion).

Now, to an outside observer Donald Trump and Tommy Lee are two completely different people. Regarding each one's charisma, they just seem to have different styles which is another point that makes charisma so important. It can work for just about anyone who takes the time to learn it, much like an actor or martial artist.

The Ultimate Rocket Scientist 'Nerd' - Married, Respected, And Praised By The World - Enter Stephen Hawking

Here's another example of charisma where you'd not expect to find it -- Stephen Hawking, the permanently wheel chaired physicist who speaks with an artificial electronic voice because of Motor Neurone Disease. The ultimate rocket scientist 'nerd' in a wheel chair, he can't even talk or use the bathroom without assistance, and yet millions hang on his every word and lavish him with accolades, respect, and praise. And yes, he's married.

Charisma can manifest itself for any person. Part of learning charisma is determining how to make it manifest for you. But you need to learn the psychology behind charisma first, to figure that out.

Now, by all historical accounts, Hitler was charismatic. He was so charismatic that he enchanted the small country of Germany into following him in a pursuit of world domination.

Tupac Shakur

In my experience, charisma can be developed by anyone who believes in it and wants it bad enough. Hollywood and the music business are excellent examples. Just look at Tupac Shakur, the deceased rapper. If you look at an early Tupac, just like today's biggest Hollywood movie stars, many were far from charismatic. But with careful training by stage directors and their cohorts (stage coaches, voice coaches, modeling coaches, etc), these celebrities became extremely charismatic. Also, these celebrities became charismatic by carefully reading other people. When people reacted one way to a speech or musical performance, these celebrities made a mental note of what action was done differently to get such a positive response, and then repeated that action even stronger in the next performance. What happened? A bigger reaction from the people. And it just went on from there.

There was a time when charisma only came 'naturally' to a select few, but more than likely (rather than a 'natural' power or gift from the gods) it was a direct result of psychological circumstances regarding the charismatic individual's upbringing.
Nowadays, we know better and we have the information that can teach us (any of us) how to harness the power of charisma and become a truly unstoppable force, whether it's show business, sports, music, or the movies, and in the world of seduction, learning charisma means making yourself really attractive -- make that extremely, extremely attractive -- to the opposite sex.

Give A P.U.A. (Pick Up Artist, Speed Seducer, Hypnotist, etc.) Charisma And His Failing Neg Hits Will Suddenly Seem To Work Magic

That's where charisma blows the neg hitting pua's out of the water. Now give a PUA charisma, and suddenly his neg hits will seem to work magic where before he developed charisma, the neg hits didn't work at all. Go figure.

There's an old saying, and it's what do women want? (Remember that from the newsletter?) Well, like everyone else, they want charisma, they want to be around people with charisma... Because in such a mundane existence of everyday life, anything charismatic almost seems magical (unless of course you understand charisma) and the big seduction secret many are starting to discover, is that anyone can develop charisma for themselves.

How Does Charisma Work?

Keep reading and discover how actors like Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt have seduced the population...

Discussion board post by Jeff the Uber Geek Subject: Charisma
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Can a person develop charisma, or is it something out of reach for anyone not born with it? First off, who has charisma is very subjective. For example, there are folks I work with who absolutely love everything about G.W. Bush, including the way he carries himself, his attitude, his manner of speaking, etc... There's one Bush-lover at work who actually remarked during the election that "Bush is blessed with charisma."

There are others who absolutely detest everything about him, including the very things that others would say make him charismatic. In any case the [discussion board post - charisma can't be learned] is flawed in that people can (and usually do) change.

I've seen remarkable transformations in some of the people in my life, and others who seem to stay the same. For one example, if you'd have asked me 15 years ago if my cousin had charisma I'd have laughed in your face. Now, however, he's become a very outgoing, socially conscious, extremely likeable person who I'd have to say is one of the most charismatic people I know. People are drawn to him now, whereas 15 years ago he was avoided by all except family. Did he learn it or he tap into an already inborn ability? He claims he learned it.
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Discussion board post in the Seduction Insider Forum Subject: charisma has been distorted
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In fact, many people do have charisma, more or less than others. But you cant 'unlock' charisma, because it is either inherent in someone or not. That is simple to understand. You cant learn it, but you may have varying degrees of it, and you'll know if you do. All those techniques of 'learning' charisma are just things to help with our (now) degraded social skills. Society as we know it is to blame for that, but thats another subject. So I do agree you can make yourself more appealing in social situations. Now you say 'there was time' when charisma came 'naturally' to people, it still only does, and by that i mean it does or it doesn't. End of story.

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Perhaps you're right, these guys don't have 'true charisma'... maybe they know how to fake charisma and the whole thing is an act. Con artists can do this, and that's where we get the term 'confidence tricks'.

Actors can fake charisma as well. Tom Cruise, who played Maverick in Top Gun, was one of the most charismatic movie characters to ever come out of pop culture. He was extremely charismatic on the screen (sure, after careful training to seem charismatic), and yes in real life he was not as charismatic as his character.

Now, seducers and players can fake charisma as well to the point that it looks as though they're naturals... Maybe they are and maybe they're not. I think many of them have become naturals.

Does it matter though if they have true charisma or they have to fake it using heavy duty psychological 'charisma secrets' they've learned? When you watch these guys (and I've used these skills myself) they can literally use their charisma 'skills' to attract women like nothing you've ever witnessed. Actually, maybe you have witnessed it. If actors are not charismatic in real life, they sure do a great job of faking it on the screen. Just look at Val Kilmer, Top Gun's Iceman...

Charisma In The Nightclub

I know some guys that can do a better Iceman out in the nightclub, meaning these guys go into 'mode' and blast the room with charismatic 'skills' and get mad attention from choice women, for the sole purpose of meeting the hottest woman there and taking her home. They're the ultimate PUA's, but they're not anything like the PUA's you read about in Neil Strauss's "The Game" for example. They don't seem like PUA's, and they have a hundred times more success. Why? Because women are just drawn to these guys. They're not cocky/funny jackasses, if anything I'd describe them as super cool and super smooth. Sure they can be cocky. Sure they can be funny. But it's all with charisma. It's not the cocky/funny theory you may be reading about on 'Internet Dating Guru' websites.

(A blatant dig at Deangelo and his ideas here. At the end of the day, listen to both sides of the story, digest it all & take away the best ideas that works for you and make it fit your own style. Evolve & Adapt. --NiK!)

It's all about the charisma. That will never change. So the longer you don't learn it, the longer you're going to go home empty handed at closing time.
PUA's hit on women, trying to talk to fifty or so before they finally get one that will do the deed...

Guys with charisma don't have to hit on women -- women hit on them.

If I'm a no-name Kevin Federline I really need to turn on the charisma if I'm going to attract a woman like Britney Spears, a pop icon with world wide fame and a massive fortune to match. You should read how she describes him. Britney Spears is captivated by Kevin Federline, and while the rest of the world talks smack about him, just remember he's bagging one of the most popular female music performers ever.

And according to the media, she's taking care of him... Paying his bills, buying him gifts, financing his rap album.

That's charisma at work.

Kevin Federline is a walking Miller Beer commercial, he's living the high-life. A single out-of-work father with no significant background -- an average looking guy in serious need of a haircut -- he went from living like My Name Is Earl to my name is Mr. Britney Spears.

So, what's his secret? Yes, you already know, like so many others before him, and this is straight from the mouth of Britney Spears herself --

He knows how to use charisma to devastating effect on women.


In Summary:
· Anyone can learn charisma. That has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt time and again. Don't fool yourself into thinking you can't learn it, or you can't become more charismatic. You can.

· That person you know who seems 'charismatic' -- well, he knows it too, and has made many mental notes (starting at a young age) as to what helps him project this image and he's built on that (at the same time, he keeps his mouth shut about it, which is part of the charisma, and it's called mystery)

· Someone who 'trains' himself in charisma can easily become much more 'charismatic' than someone who seems to take to it 'naturally'. Why? Because the person training in it knows exactly what he / she is doing, and WHY. You can excel very rapidly in charisma when you follow a program. Just ask any con man, entertainer, politician, or ladies man.

· Charisma is very different than charm. Charm is sometimes an element of charisma, but does not have the powerful psychological properties of persuasion and influence that charisma has. In politics and business, you don't call in the charmer to get things done. You call in the guy with the most charisma.

· Charisma can be used for both good and evil. Meaning 'Jerks' and 'Nice Guys' can wield it to the same effect on women. You've seen this for yourself.

· Women fantasize about men with charisma. Women will meet a charismatic man once and then day-dream about him for years, about love, passion, sex... control. But a man with charisma will never give women control... He'll always keep a psychological distance, and remain the prize in the interaction.

Doors open, women adore you, everything starts falling into place.

Ask any man on Hollywood's A-List.

;-)

On Being a MAN Who "Naturally" Attracts Women

I received this in my inbox from my fav telemarketer/Love Guru : David Deangelo.

Now over the past few months since I started posting his thoughts and articles on women and relationships on my blog; I've gotten a LOT of flak from close female family members and friends.

Yes, I know Deangelo talks bollocks MOST of the time.

Yes, I know his ideas are PRETTY out there most times and demeaning to women.

Yes, I know that most of it are telemarketing / sales pitch shite.

BUT (and this is a very important but IMHO) look past all that NOISE, and glean a few of the good ideas/facts/thoughts from his salespitch. Let it ruminate in your mind and start practising it in your day to day interactions with people (not just women per se).

Trust me...it's will be an eye-opening experience for all you socially-challenged geeks out there!

;-p

----------

Is It True That A “Cave Man” From Ten Thousand Years Ago Would Be MUCH Better Than YOU At Attracting Hot, Sexy Women?

Success with women is a COMPLETE mystery to most men.

But it probably wasn’t a big mystery to one of your grandfathers before you… ten thousand years ago.In fact, I’ll bet that men who lived ten thousand years ago were FAR better with women than we are today, on average.

If you’re interested in learning how the secrets of a “cave man” who could steal your woman… can make you FAR more successful with women TODAY, then listen up. I'm about to tell you one of the most important stories you will ever hear…

Important note:

After 5 long years of learning how to become successful with women and dating, and 5 more years of teaching other men to do the same… I have finally discovered THE SECRET to why some men have unbelievable success with women… while most struggle and fail.

I’ve hidden this secret in the story that I’m about to tell you.

And here’s the story. Pay close attention if you want to learn how to attract more women…

You are an adolescent man living thousands of years ago… in a group with a hundred others.

In your group, there is a dominant, charismatic, powerful male leader. You admire and respect him, but also fear him. Every time you see him, you avert your gaze to avoid direct eye contact.

Lately, you've noticed that you're thinking more and more about becoming a leader. You can imagine yourself being admired by others, and being the one to lead the hunts for food.

You've also noticed that your temper and emotions are becoming harder to control. Something seems to be happening inside of you that is making you more and more irritable. You've also noticed hair growing on your face, and muscles growing on your body.

One day, while you're walking alone in the trees, you see a familiar waterfall, with a pond below. In the pond is a beautiful young woman you've admired for many years… bathing.

For some reason, on this day, she appears different to you. Today you have an unfamiliar feeling inside. At this moment, you feel an overwhelming desire to be with her… in a way you don't understand.

As you approach her, she turns and sees you. For a split-second, all of time seems to freeze… as you look into each other's eyes. It's in that moment that you realize that she is feeling something as well. Maybe not the same thing as you, but something that is her version of how you feel.

You walk toward her, and she walks toward you. You don't know what's about to happen, but you can feel something moving you forward... a drive that seems to be coming from deep within you.

As you get closer to this beautiful creature standing in front of you, she smiles... and looks at your face.

You reach a hand out to touch her arm. This time, the touch feels very unusual. You breathe deep. Your pulse begins to quicken. You can feel the hairs on your body stand up in waves.

You are so focused on this timeless dance that is unfolding, that you don't notice a rustling in the trees behind you.

Your interest in this girl has not gone unnoticed.

All at once, you sense the presence of others. You spin your head around to see who is behind you.

And there stands the leader of your group, along with many other adults, including your father and mother.

An instinctive sense of fear strikes deep into your stomach… your eyes widen… and your throat becomes constricted and dry. You sense that you are in great danger, even though you've done nothing wrong.

The leader of your group is looking directly at you, with a look that makes you fear for your life.

“The Boy Must Die!” he yells.

Your mother runs to him, protesting… “No, he's just a boy, he's done nothing wrong!”

But her cries fall on deaf ears.

The leader of your group, along with several other men, take you away from this beautiful girl, and drag you into the forest.You are blindfolded, and taken to a secret cave... a cave that you've only heard stories about.

Over the next day, four other young men are brought to the cave as well. It seems that all of you are to die.

The men from your group, including the leader, come into the cave. They are painted with strange symbols on their faces and bodies.

They look sternly at the group of young men... and the leader says “It is time for the boys to die.”

One-by-one, they take each boy, force his mouth open, and pour a putrid liquid down his throat. Next, they rub a sticky mixture of fruit pulp on each boy... from head to toe.

The men leave.

You are alone with your friends, all preparing to die, in mortal fear.

You here the frightening sound of large logs being stacked across the front of the cave, sealing you and your friends inside. At this moment, you realize that you are going to die without ever knowing what would have happened with that beautiful girl you were standing in front of just yesterday.

You can feel the poison that the men gave you taking effect. Your stomach is beginning to hurt. As you become more and more afraid, your mind begins to create frightful nightmares you've never imagined before…

You don't realize it, but in the liquid the men poured down your throat was a drug that is now taking over your mind. It's making the nightmares far worse that anything you could ever experience during normal sleep.

As you and your friends begin to cry and scream with fear, you begin to notice strange sensations all over your body.

You reach down to touch, and feel something moving on your skin. You realize that large ants have been attracted by the fruit on your body, and are coming in large
numbers to eat...

You try to brush them away, but there are far too many of them. It seems like the more you swat at them, the more they tear away at your flesh.

And this is just the beginning.

After what seems like weeks of this incredible psychological and physical torture, you begin to realize that you are probably dead. You and the other boys have cried and screamed for so long… and the ants have eaten so much of you… that there is no chance that you're alive.

In reality, it's only been one night, but the drugs have made it seem much longer.

A hand pulling you up by the arm wakes you. You open your eyes… and there is the leader of your group... pulling you up... standing over you… his face painted with a new and different design.

“Am I dead?” you ask.

“Yes”, he says.

“The boy is dead, and the man will now live.”

Over the next several days, the men initiate you into manhood. You are taught the secrets and qualities of being a man, and you are tested severely.

One night, as you are sitting around a fire with the other men, you are told ghost stories… afterwards the men take you into the woods, and circumcise you… with only a stick in your mouth to bite for the pain.

When you are finally brought back to the main group to live, your mother seems very different. Instead of opening her arms to you, she seems to be staying away.

You are told that you will no longer sleep in the house with your mother. You will be living with the MEN now.

Over the next several years, you are taught how to live as a man, how to take care of yourself and your group, and how to use your natural talents to attract a woman and live a fulfilled life.

The End.

…Were you able to find the secret?

If you missed it, fear not. It’s not easy to spot… both in the story, and in the “real world” where you can use it to meet and attract the women that you want.

But now… I’d like to spell it out for you… and show you how you can use it to dramatically improve your success with women, starting immediately…

The “Secret Reason” Why Some Men Have Success With Women Without Trying…While Most Struggle And FAIL…

I’d like to tell you another story…

This one is about me… but it just might be about YOU, too…

Have you ever blown it with a woman that you really liked?

Maybe she was even interested in you in the beginning… but you somehow managed to screw it up anyway?

I know I have.And after it would happen, I would rack my brain for weeks trying to figure out what I did wrong.I would act out every possible scenario in my mind…

“What if I had said this to her instead of this?”

“Maybe I should have called her on Thursday instead of waiting 2 days… Did it look like I was playing games? Or maybe I should have waited 3?”

“Did I miss my chance to make a move? Maybe if I had just done it when we were at ___, everything would have turned out alright…”

I would go through these scenarios over and over again—in my mind and to my friends… no doubt driving them nuts.I would eventually figure out where I thought I had made my mistake… and swear not to ever make that same mistake again.

And then I’d meet another special woman…I would promise myself that THIS TIME… I was going to do it right.

And guess what happened?

You got it. I would manage to screw it up again.

I went through this painful cycle MANY times.If you’re like most guys, you’ve been there… and you know how much it sucks.It feels like things might NEVER work out for you with a woman you are REALLY interested in… and that you might be forced to “settle” for someone you’re not really into… or no one at all.

When we blow it with a woman we like, we tend to attribute our screw-ups to the “little things”… because it feels like that is where we made our mistakes.We tend to analyze these things to death - “Maybe I should have waited for her to call me” or… “Maybe I should have made a move here” or… “If only I wouldn’t have said ___”, etc…

Well, I never realized it at the time, but there was something MUCH BIGGER going on in these situations than the “details”…

Yes, our screw-ups probably WERE the result of one or more of these mistakes…

Maybe we called at the wrong time or too many times… maybe we missed our opportunity to make a move… or maybe the “wuss” slipped out and we said or did the wrong thing…

But the real problem here is not the mistakes themselves…Our problem is the REASON WHY we keep on making these mistakes.

I’m sure you’ve noticed how guys who are “naturally” successful with women don’t seem to “screw it up” very often…

It’s like they can grab the attention of any woman they choose— and keep her interested as long as they want to—without needing any “techniques” or lines to help them do it.

But how?

How do they know just the right thing to say at the right time, or when to make a move… or how to get a woman interested in them in the first place?

Some guys just seem to know what to do with women… why don’t we?

Isn’t attracting women supposed to be a natural thing to do?

Our ancestors have been meeting and attracting women for MILLIONS of years… if they hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here.So, up until now, why did we keep on screwing things up? Shouldn’t we have known this stuff instinctively?

The “Missing Piece” That Is FORCING You To Screw Things Up With One Woman After Another…


The question of why some men are naturally BAD with women is one I’ve thought about a lot over the last few years…Here’s something else to think about:

What if I were to tell you that guys who are “naturals” with women have a “secret guide” inside of them that tells them EXACTLY the right thing to say and do with a woman… every time?

What if I were to also tell you that—like a compass—this guide is NEVER WRONG. It always points them in the right direction… and by following it’s advice, it’s virtually impossible to “screw up”…

Men have possessed this guide for MILLIONS of years.Up until the last few hundred years or so, men who didn’t have it failed to attract a mate.They didn’t reproduce, and their genes weren’t passed on.

These days—thanks to massive increases in population—guys who don’t have it may “get lucky” and reproduce, but it usually isn’t with someone that they REALLY want…Of course… guys who DO possess it are the guys who end up with the women all of the other guys want…I’m sure you’ve known or heard of some of these men throughout your life.

I’m also sure that you—like me—have wondered why they “have it” and YOU don’t.

I’m sure you also wondered what “it” is. What is this “thing” that allows them to attract women so easily?

Now… finally… you’re about to find out…

How Modern Society Has ROBBED YOU Of Your Inherent NATURAL Ability To Attract Women…


This secret to why some men get more women than they can handle is something YOU also possess inside of you.The only difference between you and the “naturals” is that you haven’t fully developed it.No one has ever told you what “it” is… and what it’s all about.

This secret is called MANHOOD.

Let me explain…

Awhile back, I made a program called “Mastery With Women & Dating”. After the last night of filming, I was having dinner with my good friend Rick, and chatting with him about the problems that guys have with women.

You’ve probably seen Rick on one of my programs. He’s someone that a lot of men look up to when it comes to understanding women… you won’t find more of a “natural” than this guy.Rick said something very profound to me…

He said that as he talked to the guys who had attended the program, it was obvious to him that these guys had never learned what it meant to be a MAN.

They had no concept of what “being a man” was about.

They didn’t understand what differentiated a man from a boy, what qualities women are attracted to in men, or how to develop into a man.

So I started to think about this point, and I realized that there was something deeper going on here, and that he had a great point.By virtue of being born relatively recently, in modern cultures, most of us men were basically not offered the process of “becoming a man” the way it evolved over literally MILLIONS of years.

We missed the initiations, the challenges, and the EARNING of our manhood.

These days, humans are living longer, but we’re maturing slower… and instead of growing up and living an enjoyable, mature life… many men end up staying in the “adolescent” phase of their lives for DECADES.This "stunted growth" process leaves us with that empty feeling of anxiety and frustration that you might call the “extended childhood syndrome”.

We grew… but as a result… many of us never really “grew up”.

Even worse, we’ve recently been going through a cultural phenomenon called “the men’s movement” that, while doing a lot of good, has obscured the reality that we are, fundamentally, MEN.And because of this, many of us failed to really become MEN… and develop the inherent natural ability to attract women that is part of BEING A MAN.

I call this phenomenon: “The Mysterious Missing Manhood.”

When developed, your Manhood is like your own “internal compass” that guides you to success in your interactions with women.A man who is MISSING his Manhood is like a ship trying to sail the ocean with no guidance systems whatsoever.

In other words, he is bound for disaster.

A woman can usually sense instantly if a man is “missing” his Manhood…Even if you are able to “fool her” with lines and techniques… without the right internal guidance… you are bound to “slip up” and make a mistake that reveals the TRUTH.

This is why these little things DO count so much with women…

When you call one time too many… or miss your chance to make a move, a woman doesn’t say to herself, “He calls too much…” or “he’s not confident enough…” No…

What she does do is get the gut feeling that you aren’t a REAL MAN.

And when that happens, the possibility for attraction or a relationship is instantly not an option in her mind… and she can’t control it.An inner switch flips inside of her, and it creates an invisible barrier… and even though that process and the barrier are invisible, they are still very real… and very obvious to her.

Without this issue handled, the only way to get attention from women is becoming a master of PRETENDING to be someone… and using techniques to cover up your inability to be who you are.But as I’m sure you know… eventually, this deeper problem WILL cause you to screw things up.

The “Mysterious Missing Manhood” is as painful to women as it is to men… and unless you learn how to develop your Missing Manhood, you will go on feeling lonely, out of control, and desperate… and nothing you try will fix it.

*Followed by details on how to get his product*
------

So did u guys learn ANYTHING from his long-winded sales pitch?

;-)

My Guilty Pleasure

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

It has been many moons since my last confession...and now I have come to repent.

Idle Hands are the Devil's Friends

I have to admit it.

I’m HOOKED (!).

Gawd, this is going to sound SO gay…but I *enjoyed* getting a manicure.

I know, I know…this is the age of metrosexual men…where men have manicures, and facials, and what not. But it’s just SO not me, SO alien....SO feminine (?)

In retrospect tho’…I gotta admit that having my nails done for that Annual Dinner thingy awhile back sure was relaxing…zen-like…even calming perhaps.

As the HOT female nail-artist took my fingers gently into her soft hands and diligently applied first the undercoating, followed by two layers of black varnish, and finally a top-coat to protect my colored nails from chipping; I felt a calming influence come over me.

We chatted over the most inane of stuff from how long had she been in business, to what services did she render to her almost female clientele, to what’s the top fav colors her clientele liked most.

Hahahah…it sure did give me a new understanding of what women go thru in life, how they pamper themselves, and the shite they have to put up with (trying to drive in KL traffic while my nails were still wet was a friggin nightmare!) JUST so they look good for the men in their lives; who don’t even for a second think of how much preparation womenfolk have to go thru in the first place!

Thinking back of my manicure-shenanigans….it reminded me how absurd I must have looked…a satanic-tattoed, goth-dressed, long-haired MAN (it was three hours before the event, I was already in costume by then), walking from one hair/nail salon to the the next one in Sri Hartamas…asking them whether they do nails in black.

Oh…the multiple shocked faces that I saw was worth the price of entry alone!

So the next time u see an Ah-Long like figure walk into a salon, dressed all in black and tattoed right up to the arse looking like he’s about to pick a fight…rest easy… it might just be me in my party costume trying to get a manicure!

;-p

Playing Catch Up

The rest of September was uneventful as I was tied up in deadlines back to back to produce my first, virgin, research report ever to be published by the research house I work at for public consumption.

The stress of doing something SO creative (yes, I am THAT shallow ;-p) took a toll on me and I started down the slippery slope of no-return when I increased my smoking activities to the point of being a chain-smoker.

It felt as if I was birthing a bloody child from conception ‘til the whole bloody messy affair of giving birth looking back at how much I fought with myself internally to buckle down and continue on trying to find positive angles to make the company sound good while trying to grasp the mechanics of forecasting a company’s share price. Cue multiple late nights, weekends in the office and even a few sleep ins at the office.

But I think it was worth all THAT bother.

05/10/05.

That was the day. A momentous occasion indeed. I finally popped my *analyst* cherry!

It’s ironic that it coincides with the first day I got confirmed in Equity Research, 9 whole months ago.

God(!) what a slow bastard indeed, for I took 10 bloody months before I fully grasped the skills of being an analyst. And even then, the stock is shite; so despite my stellar write-up on it, trying to make it “sexy” to the fund managers, I doubt much sales would be generated from it. Betcha my KPIs are gonna be shite which relates into a crap bonus (everyone else gets 15-24 months bonus while I’ll just have to suffice with 6 bloody months! Oh woe is me.) ;-p

The rest of October was a blur as Ramadan came and go, and research work piled up. Raya Aidilfitri was a welcome one-week break; yet uneventful since I didnae go back to Kelantan for Raya celebrations.

Now it’s halfway thru November, and I’m prepping up to churn out two more research reports on shite stocks that nobody would buy in the first place. Cue the same routine of late nights, multiple weekends in the office and a few sleep ins to follow.

God, i HATE this job with a vengeance, but i LOVE the money I earn too much to give it up.

What a conundrum, eh?