A New Tomorrow

Heyheyhey!
Hey peeps,

Neways, a new week beckons and it's set to be an interesting one for me since both my parents would be celebrating their respective birthdays (Ma's on the 2nd and Da's on the 3rd of March).

It's kinda cool that two ppl that are married have their birthdays SO close to each other innit ?

Logically it wouldn't be hard for the husband to forget his wife's birthday then would it, cos it'd just be ONE day before his.....oh well...so much for my father then... ;-p

He's getting my mum the same old, same old perfume gift set hoopla he gets her every year..... What is it about men that makes them SO unimaginative the older they get?

Maybe married life is an exucse used by men not to try so hard anymore (unlike while in their courtship period)....pity the double standards men put on women 'cos we expect our wives to STILL look hot after marriage and take care of herself (on top of her career, the children and the home) while us men drink and eat into oblivion, let oursleves go..and develop pot bellies, balding head and no-neck.

Bloody hell I'm not even married yet and I already suffer from that bloody problem! ;-p

So to spice my Ma's birthday up this year, us children decided to pool our money together and pull all the stops for her birthday gift while masquerading our gift as our Da's.

We start with 21 stalks of Red Roses in a bouquet to be delivered to her office this Wednesday during lunch break (so she can show it off to all her office mates) with the card:

Because you will ALWAYS be 21 in my heart. Love, Hawk

'Hawk' being what my Ma calls me Da lah.....eeewwwwww I don't even wanna think of them and what they'd used to get up to in their courtin days.... that's just way, way more fcuked up than Sigmund Freud's Oedipus complex!

It just takes it to another level! Hahaahaha

Neways, after that initial volley, we thought we'd finish off the 1-2 Love Punch onslaught with a voucher/package for 2 at a health spa / beauty salon where maybe my parents could spend their Sunday at.

Unfortunately....there seems to be a dearth of spas in the Sunway/Subang Jaya/Shah Alam area and I don't want to book one in the KL / PJ area cos that'd mean they'd have to go out of their way just to redeem the voucher (i.e. it'd be a hassle instead of a luxury).....

Oh well, there's always next year to prepare for then...I guess this year will just be capped off with a family dinner (which I inadvertently would have to pay for-lah seeing as to how I'm the eldest and working for a living).


P.S. While searching for spas online, I happened upon a perfect romantic getaway for couples in the heart of Kuala Lumpur city. Check it out them sweet photos of the enchantingly romantic place here and here.

Verdammt....I know where to plan my wedding proposal to my future wife now.

Just have that little problem of getting a woman fall for me in the first place...hahahahaha



;-p

Day 7: Aftermath

I feel things are looking good for the future.

I am not over HER yet and it'll take forever for me to extinguish that smidgen of feelings for her...yet in 7 days I have managed to turn around and see life from a different perspective.

Even appreciate the excruciating pain and marked it down as an important life lesson.

Life goes on.

People fall in love, fall out of love. Friends break up, make up.

So I lost a few friends over the process of 7 days.

Fcuk it...they weren't my friends after all if a small matter of bonus money could destroy 12 months worth of spending lunches together, chatting during office hours using internal mail, spending time knowing family & friends, etc.

At least this 7 days have taught me to become more mature in my future relationships.

Things are not always as they are initially.

Don't take things for granted and don't judge upon first impressions.

People all have secret agendas, politics, etc. in a relationship.

That is after all, just the way the adult world revolves.


It's a bitter and painful pill to swallow, but I'll have to take it like it is and evolve...to continue living in this world as an adult.

After all, I can't go back to mum and cry under her protective hug anymore.....

That's what growing up is all about: Taking the punches and rolling with it.

Ppl that fail to do so are the ones u see on the edges of society....

Day 6 : Moving On

*Saw* her at lunch today when I went to Soul'd Out with officemates.

Funny, but I thought the first time seeing her again would be hard.

The pain has kinda stopped somehow.

I just feel numb. I don't care anymore. I just want to move on.

My cousin pointed out this cool blog/website to me, about a guy that went thru the same kinda thing I went thru (after reading it, I realised that maybe I wasn't the only one in the world that's been played after all)

Check out this guy's views:

On being a Nice Guy.

The Attraction difference b/w Men vs. Women.

On the Friend Zone. and the Friend Zone Test to check if ur bein played like a fool.

On how to be a jerk and why it makes sense to be one.

On quitting women all together.

On mistakes women make that turns off men.

Stop felling sorry for urself over bein played and start goin out there and dating again.

And finally, on the most beautiful god-given creation on Earth : Breasts.

Azrael (the website editor) has opened up my eyes to how I've been strung up like a dummy all these months and played like a fool....man he has a manic energy to his writing that I particularly like and despite his colourful language...he breaks it down like it is brother....

Men...listen to the wisdom of Azrael and spread the word around....let us not be persecuted under the machinations of Black Widow women around the world anymore!

Be a Jerk from now and I promise u...the ladies will pile up on ur doorstep until u'll have to many to choose from....

heck, I've only been doing it for a few days and it seems to work wonders....

If only I'd figured this out in high school,eh. ;-p

NO more Mr. Nice Guy....henceforth I shall be Bastard NiK!

Breaking the Silence!

It's been awhile innit ?

I have to profess....I've been feeling really lost these past 3 weeks.

I'm neither here, nor there...neither enjoying life nor suffering much.

a LOT has occured in the past 3 weeks and I'll try to recollect the most exciting ones for ur reading pleasure.

Come back often peeps, cos NiK is back in the writing gig!

;-p

< Day 5 >

Out of sight, Out of mind

I'm getting there.

It feels less painful these days. I can focus on work and stop worrying like a pussy-whipped ass why there's no answer to my latest e-mail/funny qip/etc.

I just realised something: All along I've been an annoying git....getting in the way of any actual work being done...for both of us.

It's good to be actually doing what I'm paid for neways: to DO work instead of wasting time.

There's trouble in paradise however....big boss man isn't too happy with my progress since I got confirmed under this team ( i HAVE after all been wasting 2 months e-mailing chicas and surfing during work hours...)

I'm ashamed of myself....where's the promise of wanting to be the best, the bastion of Malay society in this company...the new up and coming hot shot?!

I squandered all these dreams over a woman ?!

I'm a FOOL.

Feels good to get reconnected to reality tho' and see the world thru another perspective.

That's what it's all about..ur point of view of the world, and ur current mood with how u are currently doin, is an everchanging mood/emotion/perception:

it ALL depends on how much INFO are available to u.

The more u know, the more beneficial it is to you ('cos this means u see a bigger picture than other ppl and can make a more informed decision).

Ugh...I can see I'm losing u with all this bollocks talk.....

Another life lesson: Sometimes keeping ur big mouth shut pays/is the best strategy.

As Lincoln once said (I'm not quoting him verbatim cos I forgot the exact quote..)

It's better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, than to open it and confirm people's suspicions! ;-p

My Life Under the Microscope 3

<8:10>

Shit.

I never thought it'd be this hard.

I'm SUCH a fickle fellow. I thought I was DONE with her last Friday.

I thought I could get over her. Forget her. Move on. Be free. Experience new stuff. Live.

Yet why the fcuk did I nearly send out a morning e-mail asking how her weekend was (u know with hindsight, looking at the big picture...this is a fcuking annoying trait that most weak cloying men or psycho-stalkers have! )

For Fcuk's Sake STOP IT !
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<12:10>


Managed to stop waiting for her e-mail to come in like an obedient dog by turning off my Microsoft Outlook.

Just recently opened it during lunchtime looking for the regular lunchtime 'invite'.

Non.

Ho-hum...looks like it's lunch with office-mates as per usual these past few weeks then.

Focus and set ur mind straight for fcuk's sake man!
U cannae be a pussy about it once u've made ur decision..fcukin MOVE ON!

*Listened to my conscience and walked out to lunch with workmates like a good boy* ;-p
--------------

<4:20>

Arrrgggghhhh...the fcukin agony.....

Silence is most assuredly THE mind-killer.

It hurts so much to NOT be able to talk to her now as we'd usually do in b/w officework using internal mail.

Oh well......I guess it's FINAL then.....she's pissed off with me and I'm pissed off with myself for being so weak...I'll just have to take the cards handled to me by fate (I chose this fate last Friday neways) and fcukin move on.

Forgetting is quite hard to do....but I'll get there some day.
--------

<6:45>

A concerned office-mate approached me about my sudden moroseness about the office.

Had a man-to-man chat and he suggested this website to get me out of my current loser funk.

Checked it out of curiosity and had a good laugh....MAN these Americans can SELL anything in the World can they ?

Turns out this ss an online version of those pay per view shopping channels that sell crap products u don't really need.

Sure did picked up my mood tho'...thanks bro!

If there's ONE thing I learnt to do....it's gonna be a long and winding road to forgetting HER but dammit, the day I can enter a room and see HER without being affected by her psychologically or physiologically would be the day I've finally conquered my demons .

And I live and breathe my days in anticipation of achieving that goal!


;-)

My Life Under the Microscope 2

Kept myself busy all weekend.

In a way, it kinda makes it easier to not think about HER when I'm engrossed in doing something else.

Saturday was a nice surprise with an outing meeting up old classmates (Tassha, Anna and Ayu) for a wedding of our mutual classmate (Adzlinna). I wouldn't usually go out to a wedding just 'cos they're not my thing and most definitely not with three ladies in tow!

Friday's melodrama have made me more open to new experiences however and I'm glad to say I really enjoyed myself.... what is it about weddings that makes women's hormones just go into overload ? ;-p

Neways had a nice after-wedding chat at Starbucks Sunway Pyramid where the conversation revolved around societal's different expectation of men and women.

These ladies were bemoaning the fact that at 24-25, they're already being pressured by society (parents, extended family, friends) about when will they get married next (this happens a LOT at weddings and family gatherings) while guys on the other hand have it easy and feel no pressure at all! :-)

Thank God for that!

I guess living in an Asian country, filial piety and tradition are still upheld so these women feel 'pressured' to conform to societal standards somewhat (i.e. what time to start getting married, what type of career-men to look out for,etc.) It's all hogwash-bollocks and in my humble opinion, women should get married when they're good and ready and have finally found the right person.

NOT just 'cos society deems it's the correct time to do so.

Neways, guys have it worse laters 'cos if ur like 33-35 yrs old and STILL unmarried, ur looked upon as if ur a loser/less successful no matter how many millions u'd be earning monthly!

These kinda talk just drives me crazy....I aim to spend the next 3-5 yrs concentrating on my career mainly and we'll see how things develop then once I'm hopefully financially secure with a thriving career.
-----------

Sunday night was also a joyous celebration as well, 'cos all my KL-based aunts and uncles came together for a feast at the best buffet place in town : Lemon Garden Cafe, Shangri La Hotel in commomerating my recent job confirmation and CNY bonus.

They were extra happy of course 'cos I was footing the bill! ;-p

At RM 88 per person nett, it IS quite a bomb to wine and dine people but hey, it's not every day I get confirmed at the best investment bank in town is it ?

The buffet spread was superb with a wide range of Western (Italian & Continental), Eastern (Chinese & Japanese), and Local (Malay, Indian cuisine). The Dessert section was also a favourite with most of my Kelantanese family (known for our sweet tooths!) as they dished out everything from ice creams to multiple assortments of cakes and chocolates.

The highlight must be the flowing warm chocolate fountain where u can dip marshmallows, fresh strawberry and an assortment of other fruits for some mucho delicious chocolate covered 'sate'.

Everyone had a great time and hopefully I wouldn't be responsible for increasing a few aunt's/uncle's blood pressure or diabetic levels...Sorry! ;-p

Oh well....it's Sunday night and back to the 5-day grind tomorrow then.....

G'night!

My Life Under the Microscope 1

or How to Get Over a Woman in 7 days.


I did it.

I finally did it.

I got into a really big fight with HER and finally said good riddance.

This is it. This is the FINAL goodbye. There's no goin back.

No more witty morning e-mails. No more annoying e-mails asking out to lunch.

No more pathetic invitations for workouts to the gym in the evenings. I'm DONE !

It's for the best after all.

I've been deluding myself all this while that it doesn't matter that she has a boyfriend.

That it doesn't matter that she cavorts around town in the weekends as her guy wines and dines her in the best restaurants, bars and clubs.

What a fool I have been for willing to be her whipping boy, her emotional anchor whenever she's lonely or when she's in a fight with her BF and just needs someone to talk to .

I'm a fool.... a pathetic fool....

But a fool no more.

She can fcuk off for all I care....I'm free from her spell....

Women like her....men call Black Widow...they spin u around in a web of desire and intrigue. Then discard u when they're done squeezing the emotions out of u.....

and what for ?

Just for kicks...just for the knowledge that at the end of the day, they're desirable enough to warrant multiple suitors...and have the pick over a multitude of men dumb enough to trip over their own feet...just to please her.

This sounds like a really bitter whining from a man who can't take being shot down....

well...guess what: IT IS!

It'll hurt in the short run...heck even now I'm contemplating being her whipping boy again, but I have to focus...preservere...for at the end of the day...it's better this way.

That story was never going to end in a happy ending for me....

Better for me to hurt now than to endure eternal pain...being a lonely love slave to a Black Widow who doesn't even care for my feelings.

:-(

Celebration!

Celebrate Good Tmes, C'mon!

It's BONUS time in my company and the whole bank is awash with happy chatty people celebrating their hard work from last year with the bountiful bonus paid out by management.

Despite being a trainee the whole of last year, I was delighted to be receiving my bonus as well.

*Wow!*

What the fcuk did I do to warrant receiving a reward at the start of this year ?!

I don't know but whatever it is, I better do it more this year and work extra harder to receive and even bigger bonus next year!

Celebrated this windfall by goin out clubbin with my office mates at a proper establishment along Jalan SI (Poppy/Passion).

We started by having drinks and conversation at Bar Savanth along the Asian Heritage Row (next to Sheraton Imperial Hotel)...then adjourned to the Vine Room where a private party was being held post-Harry Connick Jr. concert. The crowd was all Malaysian TV Models and spokesperson including a few Malaysian celebs.

One comment: Damn some of the models like Elaine Daly and Camelia looked REALLY hot in real life but most of the others are really under fed and they should learn to eat some more...what's wrong with u ladies ?!

Since we were gate-crashin someone else's private soiree...we decided to finally head down to Jalan Sultan Ismail and par-tay in Poppy/Passion.

Damn...this is a way, way more happening place than Bangsar's nightclubs with the beautiful, beautiful crowd of people thronging the dance floor and a wicked DJ spinning souped up sounds of regular radio friendly R&B hits and mixes.

I was initially reluctant to get on the dance floor (FAT men DON'T dance!) but the throbbing Hip-hop/R&B sounds was doing havoc to my body and I eventually went down onto the floor and boogied like a madman.

Believe you me, it was NOT a pretty sight at all...it was like watching a drunken ape trying to entice the other female monkeys by partaking in an exotic mating dance....I had the best time of my life however and managed to let go of all the pressure pent-up from working until 3 AM back to back for the past two nights while also coming into work the next morning at 7:30 AM SHARP.....

God...if I knew moving to the beats on the dance floor as the crowd moves around u as well was going to be this enjoyable...I wouldn't have refrained/resisted earlier.....

Look out, look out...NiK has finaly hit the KL !

;-p

Lovely Day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day!

Here's an e-mail I sent out to my closest office mates for no apparent reason this morning:
-----------------------

Heyheyhey!
Hey peeps,

Blame it on going back so late last night/morning (1 AM) and coming back to the office so early (7:30AM), but I have this 80s pop song stuck in my head droning on and on...and it seems to make me deliriously drugged-like *happy* somehow:

C'mon sing it with me...u all should know the beat to this classic song subconciously....

When I wake up in the morning, love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes

And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind

Chorus:
Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me

Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be

A lovely day (lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

Hahahaha...there seems to be no rhyme or reason to this annoying e-mail that has distrupted ur normal working day...but catch on to that good vibe and pass it on to the next person u meet...who knows...it may make ur office space a better working environ.


NiK!
----Idealistic Idiot. ;-p

Chchchchanges!

U guys might be wondering why I haven't blogged much these days.

Well, to tell u the truth, I'm experiencing difficulties adapting to my final place of confirmation at my workplace after a year being a nomad (in the Management Trainee program), moving from one dpt. to another every 3 months.

I'm not where I currently want to be at the moment, yet HR and their prodigious psyche-profiling skillz have deemed my writing capabilities to be worthy enought to warrant my current spot here on CIMB's multi-award winning Equity Research team.

So what do I do in a nutshell ?

You could say I'm a Financial Reporter/Journalist.

I sniff out all the companies on the Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange and try to find new leads or companies with a sexy story (i.e. interesting growth prospect) I can use to sell to CIMB's fund managers.

In a way, the job is multi-disciplinary cos it doesn't only require a sharp mind to probe through financial accounts and data, but also a mind with flowery language skillz and good PR skillz since it's up to you to sell or give the company a good twist to make it interesting enough for fund managers with billions of Ringgit to spend but no time to wade thru the info of hundreds of companies on the KLSE.

I'm doing fine with the writing part...but have a really, really hard time understanding the valuation part of research.

I have a history of hating Accounting since my schooldays (I put it down to taking it as an extra subject for my SPM on top of 9 other subjects already, and having a horror tuition teacher as my sole source of accounting help.) and now it has come back to haunt me.

I have to create Microsoft Excel-based models using a company's P&L, Balance Sheet, and CFlow. I know, i know interesting stuff, innit? ;-p

Neways, long story short, I'm not going to be blogging much the next few months...just whenever I have the time to jot down the random thoughts flying in my head.


Don't stop coming back regularly to check up on me tho! :-)