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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Ultimate Mistake Men Make With Women

What you are about to read, is an opening message from one of my favourite salesman currently, David Deangelo.

I know his methods are shocking and most of it sounds like cliche'd marketing talk; but look past all that outer layer and try to find the what he is actually talking about.

He's teaching men to grab life by the balls and STOP giving away their power to women by standing up to them.


Read on.
---------------------

I want to share an interesting insight with you that not 1 in 100 men ever realize on their own.

It's actually TWO insights, but they're two sides of the same coin. It's an amazingly OBVIOUS double insight, and once you know what it is, you'll see evidence of it all around you, in every interaction between a man and a woman.

And it goes a little sumthin' like this:

1. Most men behave like WUSSIES when it comes to women and dating.

2. Women NEVER feel the powerful and magical emotion called ATTRACTION for WUSSIES.

So let's take them one at a time.

WHAT exactly IS a WUSSY?

A Wussy is a guy who kisses up to women.

A Wussy is a guy who does whatever a woman wants him to do, and doesn't even know if or when a woman is testing him.

A Wussy is a guy who accepts manipulative behavior from women, and doesn't care if a woman flakes out on him, takes advantage of him, or acts overly dramatic around him.

A Wussy is a guy who has no backbone, and caves when challenged by a woman.

A Wussy is a guy who feels that he needs to BUY or PAY FOR a woman's attention and affection with gifts, dinners, compliments, and other forms of payment and flattery...because he can't imagine that a woman would want to be with him just for HIM.

In short, a WUSSY is a submissive man who tries to compensate for his lack of ability to attract women by being overly accommodating and generous.

NEWS JUST IN: MOST MEN ACT LIKE WUSSIES!

And if that wasn't bad enough, here's the REALLY bad news: Women will NEVER feel ATTRACTION for this kind of behavior, or this kind of guy!

(If you even doubt what I'm saying for a SECOND, then try this simple test: Find 3 attractive women, and ask them if they ever feel a gut-level ATTRACTION for guys who kiss up to them and act like Wussies, and watch what they say.)

Want some even WORSE news? When this kind of tactic doesn't work for a guy, he'll usually TRY HARDER, and become even MORE of a WUSSY to make a girl like him... and the more a girl runs away, the more a WUSSY most guys become.

YOU DO THE MATH and figure out the outcome of this equation.

It totally blows my mind how a guy will kiss up to a woman and watch with HIS OWN TWO EYES as she becomes more and more distant... and instead of him realizing that it's his own WUSS behavior that's causing the woman to run away he just keeps doing it... AND EVEN INCREASING IT! And how do I know this so well?

Because I, my friend, used to be a BIG TIME Wuss Bag.

Of course, when I think back about situations in my life where I behaved like a Wuss and caused a woman to lose her attraction for me, I slap my head and say "DUH!"

For whatever reason, it just wasn't obvious to me in the moment. And I think that MOST guys go their whole lives without realizing this critical insight.

Let me tell you something else that is VITALLY important for you to remember:

WOMEN HAVE MILITARY GRADE WUSS-DETECTION RADAR SYSTEMS.

Notice that I didn't say "Women are pretty good at figuring out whether or not you're a Wuss".

No no noooooo. I said that women have MILITARY GRADE WUSS-DETECTION SYSTEMS. I'm talking special forces navy seal top gun covert ops here. I'm talking INSTANT WUSSY DETECTION.

A woman can tell if you're a Wussy, in most cases, BEFORE YOU EVEN OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

So if women aren't attracted to Wussies, then why is it that they sometimes accept invitations to dinner, gifts, flowers, and attention from guys who are Wussies, only to reject them later on? Well, think about it:

1. Free food is free food, and free gifts are free gifts...I mean, when the price is right, it's right.

2. Women say to themselves "I really SHOULD date a nice guy instead of all these SEXY JERKS that I've been seeing. I'll let Mr. Girly Man take me out to dinner a few times and maybe I can learn to like him".

3. If a woman doesn't have anything going on at all, dinner with a Wussy and a constant stream of compliments and attention is better than nothing.

4. Men are NOTORIOUS for showing their "non-Wuss" side early on, but then somehow turning into a woman's worst nightmare Wuss Boy as the relationship progresses.

What to do, what to do?

Well, sometimes these things are like a substance abuse problem. The first step is ADMITTING that you've been being a WUSS all your life, and that you were doing the best you could with what you had to work with.

I often make fun of guys who act like Wussies, and bust on them unmercifully. But the fact is that I've been there, and I get it. So step one is accepting yourself as you are, and making a commitment to yourself to improve from here on out.

Next, you need to learn how to EVICT your inner Wuss, and then it's time to get down to business and learn how to create that magical feeling called ATTRACTION inside of women.

It's not magic, and it's not voodoo. Making women feel a powerful, gut-level ATTRACTION for you doesn’t require looks or money, and I honestly believe that almost ANY man can learn how to do it.

The amazing part about it is that we all have the NATURAL ability to communicate with women in a way that makes them feel ATTRACTION... but most of us guys never DEVELOPED this natural skill. We either didn't have good role models, we were programmed wrong by mom or other well-meaning people in our lives, or whatever.

But just because you haven't yet learned how to use and develop these natural talents doesn't mean that you can't start NOW. How do I know?

Because I used to have ZERO SKILL with women.

Just a few short years ago, I couldn't even start a CONVERSATION with a woman I didn't know... nevermind get dates and have success with UNUSUALLY ATTRACTIVE women.

But NOW I can. And it's all because I spent the time it took to find and learn the secrets of the "naturals", or the guys who had already figured out the skills that it takes to attract women. If you're ready to shed your past Wussy self, and learn the secrets of how to attract women that most men will NEVER learn in their entire lives.

*Followed by a plug to buy his product*

Monday, May 30, 2005

Wanted: Darth Vader

This is just DAMN funny...I especially love the final quote! :-p
--------------
By Josh Grossberg Tue May 24,10:19 PM ET

Darth Vader is on the lam.

And this time, Yoda, Obi-Wan and Luke are not doing the hunting.

Someone impersonating the Dark Lord of the Sith--i.e., a guy in a Darth Vader helmet--held up a movie theater in Springfield, Illinois, and made off with a Death Star-sized load of credits.

The Darth doppelganger, who apparently blended right in with other moviegoers attending Star Wars: Episode III--Revenge of the Sith at the Showplace Eight Theater around 9:15 p.m. Saturday, was not armed--even with a lightsaber, according to Lieutenant Rick Davis of the Springfield Police Department. Using the force--the brute kind--he pushed an employee away from the register and snashed the case.

"We don't know how much was taken," Davis told E! Online. "He was outside for awhile lurking around and then he took the opportunity to go inside and basically just grabbed the cash and ran."

The Vader raider then fled into some nearby woods. Police are investigating, but do not have any suspects.

The manager at Showplace Eight refused to comment, as did Lucasfilm.

But Anakin's evil alter ego is suddenly a one-Sith crime spree--and seemingly moving at light-speed.

In a copycat case, the Orlando Sentinel reports that a man disguised in a Dark Vader mask, Star Wars T-shirt and black pants, robbed a pizza delivery man in Kissimmee, Florida, on Sunday night.

According to Osceola police, someone phoned in an order with Pizza Best and delivery driver Alfred Santos took the call. Upon making the delivery, Santos told investigators that the masked man pulled out a stun gun and zapped the driver when he refused to hand over his cash.

Santos was okay and did not require medical treatment. Once again, however, the Darth disguisee managed to elude the law.

Joshua Griffin, who runs fan site TheForce.net, worries that such Vader sightings might give a bad name to real Star Wars fans.

"We trust an isolated incident like [the Illinois theater heist] won't prevent fans that like to attend the movies in costume to be stopped at the door," he said in a post.

Because as any good Jedi can tell you, fear is the path to the dark side...

The Pervert Menace!

And because we Malaysians are *infused* with the Malaysia Boleh(!) Spirit, looks like some local copycat Vader didn't want to miss out on the action as well....

;-p
---------

BY R.S.N. MURALI

SEREMBAN: While the widely-hyped movie Star Wars runs in cinemas all over the world, the dark force of Darth Vader struck in Bandar Baru Nilai.

Yesterday, women factory workers in two industrial areas were appalled and screamed when a man in full Darth Vader costume flashed them.

A 33-year-old factory supervisor who identified herself as “Priscilla” said the man got out of his tinted two-door car, strutted about menacingly in his Darth Vader suit before opening it and revealing himself to 15 women workers standing at a bus stop at about 7am.

“At first, I thought he was a die-hard Star Wars fan trying to impress us with his costume. But we were shocked when he showed us his private-parts,” she said.
The women were waiting for buses to take them home after their night shift.

“We were all exhausted after a long day at work and did not see the man’s face as he was wearing a dark mask,” she said.

When some of the women screamed, he jumped into his car and drove off towards the North-South Expressway.

“Next time it will not be “Revenge of the Sith” but revenge on a sick man if we catch him doing his act again,” she added.

The flasher was reported to have displayed himself to another group of workers at a nearby factory.

When contacted, Acting OCPD Supt Mohd Taib Latif said the police need more information such as the flasher's car registration number to track him down.

Darth Pervert Strikes Back!

BY R.S.N. MURALI

SEREMBAN: Factories in the Bandar Baru Nilai industrial estate have been asked to be on the lookout for the “dirty Darth Vader” as he may strike again.

State Human Resource and Environment Committee chairman Datuk Peter Lai Yit Fee said the flasher might expose himself again, when “the situation cools down.”

“He might have gone into hiding now that the police are after him.

“We only hope that the so-called Darth Vader will be caught red-handed for his indecent act,” he said yesterday, adding that the man could also be mentally unsound.

Lai said the state government has advised factories there to beef up security. He also suggested that factory managements send security guards to accompany female workers at bus stops after the night shift.

In the 7am incident on Wednesday, a man dressed as Darth Vader, the evil overlord of the Star Wars movie series, flashed himself to 15 women at a bus stop.
Barely two hours later, the man did the same to another group of workers at a nearby factory.

Meanwhile, Acting OCPD Supt Mohd Taib Latif said there were no new reports on the flasher.

“He may have gone into hiding. The police will continue to hunt for the man based on the description given by the victims (what....tall, dark, and *breathy*??) ,” he added.

;-p

Friday, May 27, 2005

Food, Glorious Food!

Since purchasing a camera phone, I have developed this annoying habit of taking pictures of what I order before consuming it. (Actually it gives me a chance to show off my brand spanking new top of the line phone, but don't tell other ppl that!) ;-p

Here's a few of my FAVOURITE meals consumed recently. Yum!

Coffee & Cigarettes Posted by Hello

Kuey Teow Basah Kg. Baru Posted by Hello

Fat Man & Little Boy Posted by Hello

side note:
The juxtaposition of ordering a SMALL drink with a big-ass Whopper compared to the *large* drink with a regular Mushroom Swiss just seemed 'photographable' to me at that time I guess.

;-)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Rom-Com Epilogue

I re-wrote the Rom-Com post as a contribution to my company newsletter (the Editor was looking for something *punchy* to add 'oomphh' to the newsletter, as she puts it).

Neways, in re-writing it, I added an epilogue which I'm now posting up here.... I humbly think it forms a nice bookend to the reviews of the rom-coms especially the way it abruptly ends on a positive note (angkat bakul sendiri siut....hampeh!)

----------

Epilogue
To avoid ending this article on a somber note (revealing my hatred for Hollywood’s perseverance in emasculating men by perpetuating wussy endings in rom-coms doesn’t help!) here’s a short list of my Top 5 Favourite Rom-Coms of All Time:

5) When Harry Met Sally
This might be the No. 1 choice for most women, but to men, it’s just a *cute* story of what could happen between two people who’ve been friends for a long time and eventually decide to hook up. In reality it’s never going to happen, because if there’s no spark upon initial contact, even 10 years of being friends isn’t going to results in any sparks somewhere down the line. Nice fantasy, Sad reality.

4) Jerry Maguire
Renee Zelwegger’s line “You Had me at Hello” in response to Tom Cruise gushing about his feelings for her in the finale makes this an instant classic. Cruise pulls off his regular floppy-haired male hero in crisis role but manages to evoke heart and warmth thanks to director Cameron Crowe's superb direction.

3) There’s Something About Mary
We’re leaving regular rom-com territory from here on as my top picks become more male-centric. Mary is less romantic, more comedy; yet it never fails to remind me of the zany stuff some men resort to JUST over ONE woman. An inspiring cautionary tale.

2) Star Wars Episode 5 : The Empire Strikes Back

Princess Leia: “I love you”

Han Solo: *grins roguishly and winks* “I know”

That exchange alone (a moment before Han Solo was frozen in carbonite by Darth Vader) brought The Empire Strikes Back above regular sci-fi action movies into rom-com territory. All through out Episode 4 and 5, there were superb verbal interplay between bossy Leia and cocky Solo, which makes for a nice tension/attraction plot between the love triangle of Luke-Leia-Solo. (note: we didn’t know Luke and Leia were twins UNTIL the last movie so suppress your gag reflex on ideas of incest)

Harrison Ford pulled the role of roguish space scoundrel charmingly and most fanboys would have had an easier time getting dates later in their lives had they emulated Han Solo instead of Darth Vader or Yoda.
;-p


1) Shallow Hal
A movie where a regular joe who’s on the slightly overweight scale gets to hook up with Gwyneth Paltrow?? Hell-yeah! Sign me up for longtime adoration and worship!

At the end of the day, this Farrely brothers comedy shows that what matters most is what’s on the inside of a person...because after all, who you really are is MORE important than what you drive, where you work or how much you earn,non?
;-)

Monday, May 16, 2005

Adrenaline Rush!

It’s Monday and life couldn’t be better!

I know, I know, you peeps must be goin “Dude! What drug are you taking, and if it is THAT good(!) can I have some too?” :-p

Seriously tho’....I’m just on an adrenaline high right now.

I decided to forsake the regular gorging of food during lunchtime and did something I wouldn’t do on any particular day with a sane mind: *Go to the Gym*


Heck, it’s not the same as indulging in lunchtime-nookie (*sex* for those slang-challenged folks), but beggars can't be choosers, eh? The workout sessions on the treadmill and bench press had the same effect neways as it released my adrenaline and enveloped me in a warmth, turning my usually tanned white skin into a bright red hue, a- (okay I better stop writing there...) :-p

Gawd, you never realise how much you miss something in your life until you er... eventually stop having it,eh?

Forget my crabby, pessimistic post last Friday...that was just the stress and the work pressure talking.

Who’d thought a stint at the gym was just the perfect antidote to overcome all that negative energy?

Neways, here’s to more lunchtime gym sessions in the future (on days when I’m not busy contemplating between food or nookie for lunch).

:-)

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Movie Reviews

I watched a number of movies over the past few weeks and I gotta say, most of them were stinkers (!), so this looks like a brief review compared to my regular longwinded spiel.

XXX2 : The Next Level or State of the Union (as it is known outside of Asia)

This movie SUCKED. Hard.

Why?

It practically used EVERY known cliche’ available from greater and more enjoyable summer action movies of yesteryear that’s why!

From the opening set-up scene before the opening montage; to the killing of the mentor mid-movie to give purpose to the hero for vengeance and redemption; to the multiple explosion-packed finale.

I mean c’mon....I grew up watching cliche’d action movies that were of far superior quality like the Rambo and Die Hard series of the ‘80s which could bitch-slap XXX2 and put it in its rightful place: a trash can.

(*Conscience Call* Errr....dude..maybe you're getting TOO OLD to still be watching this kinda mindless action movies...they ARE after all packaged for today's kids and teenagers who doesn't know any better and will then have not realised that there ARE better written action movies from olden days... Oh shut up goddamn conscience! ur making me look bad right now! )

Then again, as they say, H’wood is an everlasting cycle.....genres are recycled every 10 years or so as audiences tastes waxes and wanes. Currently, ppl are going crazy for actioners and super-hero themed movie which are larger than life and lightweight in the thinking dept. During the 70s & the 80s peeps dug talky-talky melodramatic movies (read; Easy Rider, Kramer Vs. Kramer, Wall Street, etc.)

Granted the 80’s also had great action movies like the aforementioned Rambo(Stallone), Die Hard(Willis) and Terminator(Swarzchenegger) series but at least they weren’t as dumb-ass as these current crop of actioners (XXX, anything the Rock acts in, etc.).

I can’t believe the writer of this crap cliche’d mess (Simon Kinberg) is being lauded as the NEW writer to watch out for since he is SO prolific and touted to have 5-6 movies set to screen this year. (Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Fantastic Four, X-Men 3)

If XXX2 is any indicator of what Kinberg is capable of....I worry for the future of Marvel Comic’s future movies such as Fantastic Four and X-Men 3.

Instead of being homage to the great comics as it should be like Spiderman 1 and 2, those movies might just be shadows of their former comic selves’ ala crappy Marvel adaptations like Daredevil and The Hulk (ugghh!)

Watch ONLY if you have nothing better to do during your weekend!

Kingdom of Heaven

Short (non-bullshit) review:
KoH was 2 hours of talking and pretentious posturing (ala’ theater) followed by 30 minutes of superb depiction of what it would be like to be involved in an actual war during the Crusades.

The first two hours was an agony to sit through because despite Orlando’s best attempts to make us believe he is a tortured hero, I never actually totally felt sorry for his plight. I guess this means Russel Crowe was a better actor because he managed to evoke the viewer’s emotions in Ridley Scott’s OTHER swords & sandals epic : Gladiator.

If you are going into this expecting it to be JUST as good as Gladiator, DON’T.

Orlando Bloom doesn’t play a convincing enough lead yet and this movie’s topic (The Crusades) is such a sensitive one that Ridley Scott doesn’t actually get to show any heroics on either side of the battle in fear of angering either faith.


Long (ego massaging) review:
In essence, I guess the underlying theme Ridley Scott was trying to include in this movie was:

There’s NO PLACE for heroism and virtuous conduct in reality.

In War; truth, justice and choosing the correct way to live your life by leads to innocents being killed.

There was one integral scene in this movie where the King of Jerusalem was about to die and he called for Balian (Bloom) to take over the control of Jerusalem and marry his sister. In order to that however, they would have to kill her current husband, the blood-thirsty bastard warmonger, Guy de Lusignan.

Kill a bad guy AND continue keeping the peace in Jerusalem and truce between the Christians and the Muslims. PLUS bag the hot chick at the same time.

A sweet deal innit ??

But NO (!) Balian HAD to uphold his heroic conscience and stay true to his virtuous ways.

In the end, the warmonger became the King of Jerusalem and his first decree(?) : pronounce war on the Muslims and stop the truce. This resulted in the death of millions of innocents on both sides of the factions as they fought over some pieces of rock and stones known as Jerusalem.

The final 30 minutes highlighted how truly barbaric and pointless WAR really is. This is where Ridley Scott really shined and showed his maestro skills rendering the camera so expertly that I really felt a part of the War. As though I was there with the armies, in the heat of battle, lost in the confusion of the cacophony of sounds and bedlam.

In those graphic moments of battle, you can’t even see who’s your ally and who’s your enemy for all the dust and smoke filling your eyes and the cries filling your ears. Everyone is so dirtied by blood, dust and sweat that they’re practically unrecognizable. All you care about is keeping your ass alive by evading that sword blow from chopping you or that catapult missile from burning you.

Pain. Fear. Confusion. Death.

Ridley gets full marks for conveying such superb images of war.

After nearly two hours of dull conversation and posturing, I was delighted that the payoff in the end was so great, yet deep down I was horrified as well as a shining realization dawned upon me.

So this is what it was like to go to War before the days of the Nuclear Weapon.

Nations gathered armies in the thousands of millions and pitted it against each other. The front lines were the lambs to the slaughter. The opener for wave upon wave of armies.......until days, nay weeks later...there was naught left but bare survivors....and the last man standing was declared the victors of war.

How barbaric...how so...bloody barbaric.....

In a way, I’m kinda grateful I was born in this day and age where people can die at the push of a (nuclear) button.

Yes we will all die innocently as well....but at least it would be quick and easy. Not slow and bloody.

I guess that’s the cowardly 21st century part of me talking there.

;-p

Sin City

Robert Rodriguez is a genius.

And Frank Miller is a saint. :-p

Seriously though, the creative forces of Rodriguez and Miller has managed to produce the most faithful comic book adaptation yet from panels on paper to pictures on celluloid.

They practically filmed each scene panel from panel directly off the comic book pages onto the silver screen.

For the uninitiated, Sin City is a series of independently produced comics from Frank Miller circa the early Nineties. Now when you think comic books, your mind would directly associate it with images of brightly hued heroes and villains in multi-coloured spandex of every imaginable tone under the sun. Two dimensional characters with basic morality and clear distinctions of black and white, good and evil, etc.

Sin City however, was one of those independent comic books from the early Nineties which aimed to break the stereotype of comics only being about simple superheroes and villains.

It featured the denizens of Basin City, termed Sin City because of its morally corrupt denizens ranging from crooked politicians to drug peddlers to two-bit gangsters and hitmen. Behind every corrupt man would of course be an equally corrupt woman. Sin City is divided into multiple boroughs or neighbourhoods and Old Town especially is controlled a group of strippers and hookers all under the protection of a cabal of whores.

This sure ain’t ur grandpa’s comics, kids! ;-p

As you can see, Miller derived his influences not from the comic book origins of superheroes, but instead his favourite genre: film noir. Using his genius, Miller transplanted noir-ish standbys like interplay of black and white in every scene, the usage of shadows and lights, the sexy broad, the flawed but repentant hero, two-bit side characters...the works!

And he succeeded !

Frank Miller’s Sin City was the break out independent comic in the early Nineties and it spawned multiple wannabes and clones aping his black and white simplified style. No one can beat Miller a this game tho’.

So imagine comic fandom’s surprise when Robert Rodriguez (famed director of actioners such as Desperado, Once Upon A Time in Mexico, and um... Spy Kids??) revealed in 2003 that he would be filming Sin City and be as faithful as possible to the subject matter.

After comic-book-turned-movie duds such as the Hulk, LXG and Daredevil, fandom was in uproar over fears that such a sacrilegious piece of American comic history would be pissed upon by Hollywood. Their fears were allayed however upon further revelations that Frank Miller actually gave his blessings after watching a 5-minute short Rodriguez made to convince Miller he’s the man for the job. (note: this is the first 5 mins of the movie with Josh Hartnett as a contract killer).

Anticipation grew and when it finally came out last month....comic fandom received it with open arms and ensured this faithful adaptation succeeded at the box office. Heck, even mainstream viewers supported it enough to make it gross close to USD 70 million at the end of its box office run.

Not bad for a comic book movie that’s R rated and doesn’t have a kid-friendly super hero in sight!

Kudos has to be given to Rodriguez and his superb line up of talented actors from Bruce Willis as the straight arrow cop with the heart of an angel, Hartigan; to Elijah Wood who plays the silent but deadly cannibal, Kevin; to the sexy and alluring Old Town ladies such as Jessica Alba, and Rosario Dawn. Countless other actors like Benicio Del Toro, Carla Gugino, Clive Owen, etc. pulled off their parts perfectly despite having to act in front of a green screen with mostly nothing around them.

They acted naturally and believed in their characters enough to make the story live and work.

In summary, this is the most faithful comic book to movie adaptation yet and H'wood execs should realise now that even non superhero comics CAN be adapted AND still turnover a healthy amount of profit if the creative team behind it is faithful enough and respects the subject matter properly.

Here’s to more GREAT comic book movies in the future!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Those Meddling, Meddling Moms!

Good God in Heaven!

Deliver me from this Evil and preserve my soul from their bloody meddling!

i HAD to volunteer for ‘driver-duty’ on Saturday night (don’t ask what the hell was I doing staying in on a Sat night in the first place) chauffeuring me Ma and her pals to and fro from our home to some do’ at some country club in KL. Turns out it was this 25th year gathering of some Old Girls from her alma mater.

Neways the drive was an event I would NOT like to experience ever again!

Women start out playing HOUSE and Masak-masak when they were kids, then ‘graduate’ to monkey love crushes and playing with prepubescent male hearts. For their ‘Masters degree’, they hit the playing field and tinker with adult men hearts as they find that perfect one who can afford their tastes and provide for them in the future.

Now that all their children are grown up and they start having some free time, they take their ‘PhD’ and start meddling with their children’s lives instead!

Tonight, I was witness to women in their 40s and 50s go on and on about who’s son/daughter was eligible, who was seeing who, who’s getting married to which family, and so on and so forth. Listening to them, it was as if it was a matter of the State of the Economy or summat!

And don’t think I wasn’t free of their meddling clutches either!

All throughout the drive, hints were dropped so blatantly about how their daughter was available and what a *nice* boy I am, nice family, nice parents, etc. (Note: ONE thing that turns ME off is the word NICE, call me anything else BUT that....it’s just SO...*normal / pedestrian*)

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not THAT egotistical to actually think that I’m MORE better than their daughter or summat (purge that thought from ur memory! I’m NOT that vain-lah)...it’s just getting involved with ur mother’s friend’s daughters is one sure way to a shotgun wedding or worse.

I’ll have to constantly be on my best behaviour and of course wouldn’t be able to fool around (if the situation permits) ‘cos whatever happens will directly be ‘reported’ to my mom.

*Shudder* Images of my life in high school (when I had the unfortunate experience of attending the same school my Mom was teaching at) are gradually coming to surface. *Deja-Vu!*

In summary, despite all the complaining, it sure was an eye-opening experience to chauffer the ladies around as it gave me the insight about women in their 40-50s.

Women don’t change much do they, no matter whether they’re 5, 25 or 50...they all have the same meddling instinct within them!

;-p

Friday, May 13, 2005

Friday the 13th!

I don't know why....


I just feel down and blue all over....


Like there's no friggin hope left in my life...like nothing that happens matters anymore....


just because... just because.....


I haven't blogged in awhile?


Its Friday the 13th? (who believes in this bollocks neways??)


I dunno.... but whatever it is...I gotta get myself out of this funk I'm in and start realising how lucky I am to be where I am, doing what I'm doing.


------


Reading the papers over the past few days, I'm sure you peeps have read about the 18-yr old National Service dodger that got fined RM 600.


And why was he A.W.O.L. for National Service (NS) ??


Because his mother earns only Rm 150 per month and he has to work his ass off plowing paddy fields under the bloody hot Malaysian sun EVERYDAY JUST to earn a measly RM 30 per day and support his family of 5!!!


It shocked and fazed me for a minute upon reading the news article that there are people in Malaysia STILL living in squalor.


Make's me put everything in my life in perspective.


Here I am sitting on my arse in an air-conditioned building all day long, driving a (beat up 20 yr old) Mercedes, getting paid RM 2500+ a month and I have the gall to even think that my life SUCKS ??!!!


Dude....reality check!


Exisiting in this corporate world in Malaysia's capital city: KL is spoiling me like hell.


I go for RM 50 or more lunches, spend on clothes & gadgets without a thought on the price (charge it!), waste away in clubs during the weekends, etc.


And for what ??


I've lost my sense of self....somewhere along the way, all the work and the decadence have stripped me away from my character....


I'm LOST, confused, senseless.....


Who Am I ?


My own character with original quirks and failings...or what the latest trend in town or magazine say I should be.....


Gawd this Identity Crisis is driving me crazy...


i NEED to figure out what's important to me right now before this corporate life changes me forever and I regret who I'll eventually become.....


Lord Naz(g)rul....


*pish* *posh* Yes Masterrrrr....... *pish* *posh*


Rrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!


>:-p

Monday, May 02, 2005

Rom-Com Weekend


Rom-Coms! Posted by Hello


I went stir crazy over the *long holiday weekend* and bought a BULK of DVDs from my friendly neighbourhood DVD pirate.

As you can see from the pic above, all of them are romantic comedies (rom-com); not that I have a predilection for them or summat...I just find they make great opening lines to start a conversation with woman.

Abg Long: WTF ?! Wait...are you saying u buy this rom-coms SPECIFICALLY with the intention of picking up chicks ??


Me: Dude...trust me. I’ve been doing this for a year already. Most women LOVE rom-coms...I just take advantage of that by loaning ‘em out to them then chat about it over coffee or lunch.

Abg Long: Woaaahhh... *blink* *blink* .... U da man.....

Me: *grins* At the end of the day, u just want to get to know the lady more...so as
the conversation starts rolling, just start asking leading questions about what THEY would do if they were in the heroine’s situation. What happens from then on is up to you....

Abg Long: No way! It can’t be THAT easy... ur pulling my leg man...


Me: Women LOVE drama....their life isn’t complete without DRAMA...that’s why they seem to have a strong fascination with soap operas and mags that exposes celebs private flings and affairs. Unlike us guys who couldn’t care less about stuff like that, women LIVE for the moment of...blablabla (start going into Freudian psychobabble)

Abg Long: Dude ! Check out this 3 on 3 porn special featuring Ramon Gonzalez ! Sweet!


Me: *Sigh* Ur hopeless you know...and put that away...that’s GAY porn for chrissakes!!!

;-p



Neways, since I went thru quite a few of them over the weekend, I’ll just give bite-size reviews of them instead of the regular long spiel.

Wimbledon Vs. Fever Pitch
I lumped both rom-coms together because both of them have a sports-driven theme with the rom-com plot playing a minor role.

Wimbledon featuring Paul Bettany (Mr. Jennifer Connely, the LUCKY Bastard!) and Kirsten Dunst is another Working Title Productions film. For the uninitiated, Working Title has produced most of the witty Brit rom-coms in the past 10 years from Four Weddings to Notting Hill to Love Actually.

They usually use perennial Brit favourites like Hugh Grant or Colin Firth as the lead, but I don’t mind Paul Bettany ‘cos he’s a talented actor and can pull off the physical side of this movie well. Neways, this movie follows the same formula of boy meets girl, boy loses girl to some conflict (this time, it’s due to the father of the girl’s strict training methods and her drive to win Wimbledon), then boy gets girl finally once conflict is handled.

The twist now is it uses the Wimbledon tennis tourney as its underlying theme, offering us an insider’s look into the world of tennis at the highest levels. All the glamour, the pressure to perform, and what it takes to really make it in the game.

Fever Pitch on the other hand is a U.S. adaptation of a Nick Hornby novel (the famous writer of other book-turned-movies such as High Fidelity and About A Boy). In his novel, it charts how a 30-yr old Manchester United fan has to let go of his fanaticism a ‘lil in order to compromise for the love of his life.

The adaptation to the U.S. sports-culture from football to baseball works to a certain degree thanks to the deft hands of the directing duo, Peter & Bob Farrely (famous for their comedy hits like Dumb & Dumber, There’s Something About Mary, & Shallow Hal). They manage to make Jimmy Fallon’s undying love for the Red Sox believable and Drew Barrymore is a cute enough romantic foil to match Fallon’s geeky charm.

In comparison, I think Wimbledon falters (when other Working Title productions in the past has succeeded) because it focuses too much on the sports-theme instead of the rom-com aspect and despite my gushing earlier, Bettany seems stiff as a rom-com lead. Fever Pitch, albeit not as good as the other Nick Hornby adaptations nor any other Farrely rom-coms (think pseudo Shallow Hal & There’s Something About Mary), wins out due to Fallon’s honest potrayal of a man who refuses to grow up and leave his childhood obsession.

As a side note, I believe Nick Hornby’s familiar subject matter of the Peter Pan complex (immature adult men who just refuse to grow up) could have been executed better under a different director (like About A Boy’s Chris & Paul Weitz). In the hands of the Farrely brothers, it seems lost. They don’t know whether to make it as slapstick funny as Mary or maybe a lighter tone like Shallow Hal. In the end, you just get a tame rom-com that covers regular Nick Hornby territory yet not as funny as regular Farrely movies.

In summary, Fever Pitch wins out because despite Kirsten Dunst’s cuteness, Paul Bettany drops the ball here and they just don’t sizzle enough on screen for my liking. Jimmy Fallon’s geeky fanaticism wins out in the end as he follows the Peter Pan-complex footsteps laid out originally by John Cusack (High Fidelity) and Hugh Grant (About A Boy).

A Lot Like Love Vs. Closer

The next two movies are less rom-com like in their approach choosing to go into dramedy (dramatic comedy or comedy that’s just simply NOT funny) instead.

A Lot Like Love featuring Ashton Kutcher (70s Show) and Amanda Peet (Jack & Jill, The Whole Nine Yards) playing the leads for once, follows the When Harry met Sally format of rom-coms updated for Generation X (i.e. the story starts sometime in the 90s and proceeds to end in the Millenium).

Closer on the other hand is a character piece, which plots the evolution of two couples: Natalie Portman & JudeLaw and Julia Roberts & Clive Owen. Boy A meets Girl A, Boy A then meets Girl B. Girl B leaves Boy B for Boy A. Boy B hooks up with Girl A. Everyone gets tired of playing musical sex and the plot comes to a resounding end by overcoming some underlying crisis.

In conclusion, A Lot Like Love tries hard to offer something new to the tired When Harry Met Sally tale by giving it a 90's spin complete with weird 90's hair, slang and music at the start of the movie when the characters first meet.No one can beat Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan in that classic!

And as the movie gradually progress, we’re supposed to believe that Ashton Kutcher’s character grows and finally realises that Amanda Peet’s the One.

Kutcher’s okay but I would have loved to see Josh Hartnett play this role since he showed quite a range of emotions in my humble opinion, in the heart-breaking Wicker Park. The same range is needed in Kutcher’s character as we see him grow and gradually realise idealistic teenage dreams can’t all be fulfilled, yet he falls short. Peet is great as the leading lady and hopefully she’ll get more leading parts in the future.

In summary, Closer wins out over A Lot like Love because of its more adult portrayal of adult relationships and how people hurt the ones they love the most with their actions. Oh yeah...that and the fact that any flick having Natalie Portman (hot!) researching a stripper role is GREAT in my books!

;-p

Hitch


In my opinion, Hitch is the closest a rom-com will EVER get, in portraying modern man-woman relationships in its most faithful state.

The reality in today’s fast-paced modern world where people judge time in minutes and seconds and are way too materialistic; is:

Most Men are CLUELESS when it comes to What Women Want!


The first 10 minutes of Hitch reveals the truth about how hopeless modern men are at identifying the answer and how to ACTUALLY go about approaching women. In today’s world of metrosexual men and high-powered females in the work force....most regular joes like you and me are LOST and increasingly feeling emasculated.

This movie starts out fine by laying things as they are and showing Will Smith’s character as the worldly Cupid who gives these helpless men a helping hand in figuring things out, for a fee of course. Imagine a hip Cyrano de Bergerac moonlighting from one man to the other as he helps them achieve romantic freedom and the apple of their hearts. (bollocks, I can’t believe I just typed up something THAT cheesy!).

However, as always, Hollywood sticks to the tired old rom-com formula and have Will Smith’s hip, cool and suave Alex ‘Hitch’ Hitchins fall head over heels in love with Eva Mendes’ character and start exhibiting standard rom-com klutziness.

*Sigh*, I guess since this IS a romantic COMEDY after all, they’d HAVE to make even Hitch a lovelorn fool as well.:-(

However, if you ignore the tired, faltering plots in the latter part of the movie, you’ll find some REAL GEMS in the movie that ALL MEN should learn from.

It’s funny how Hitch reminds me of my fellow male friends who are naturally successful with women. Like them, Hitch also talks about how to always keep your cool in front of the ladies (women are EXTRA perceptive when it comes to emotions), inhibit your inner wussiness (desperation is a sure sign of weakness to them), and always be cocky yet funny when handling women.

That last point especially (the cocky+funny concept) may fly against the whole idea of being a nice gentleman ALWAYS, but if women wanted to mother you instead of being your equal, they’d pick up a pet at the nearest pet shop. Being a nice guy helps later in the relationship, but buying her gifts and wining & dining her TOO early in the relationship would only serve to make you look like a desperate and insecure man that have to rely on extravagance in order to appease women. I’m digressing as usual and getting sidetracked....back to the review!

Besides the first 10 minutes which is informational, MEN should also focus on the bar scene whereupon Will Smith first meets Eva Mendes. That scene is a PERFECT education in how to tease woman verbally and be cocky YET funny when meeting women (especially attractive, high-powered females who are most likely earning equal or more than you).

Notice how the first guy approaches in the regular timid, wussy-nice guy way and how Hitch’s approach is decidedly different, more detached, yet worldly and suave. That scene was particularly smokin’ and dense with tension between the two leads as they indulged in verbal fencing. You could practically see them sizzle on the screen as Hitch leaves Eva Mendes’ character with a smart-ass comment and departs the bar; creating mystery, attraction and anticipation all upon the first contact.

Both guys were approaching her with a drink in hand for her, yet Hitch succeeds because of his different approach while the other guy fails due to his same ‘ol, same ‘ol wussy/loser approach.


MEN listen up and LEARN from this movie PLEASE !!!!

Of course, Hollywood prevailed and the rest of the movie followed the *lame* rom-com formula.

Kevin James as Hitch’s latest client (man-in-training) provided a few minor laughs and he handled his courtship well by adding his own flavour and panache; but verdammt(!) to make Hitch from a suave, worldly Lothario into such a babbling idiot was a CRAP resolution and TOTALLY against how they have been building him all through out the movie.

Sure (!) Kevin James used his own offbeat quirky way to charm and keep Amber Valetta interested in him. However, without Hitch’s initial teachings of how to create an impact and stand out enough from the crowd, Amber’s character wouldn’t even have noticed Kevin (as agreed by her character in the movie in a tense exchange with Hitch). Just because Kevin got his chick by doing something different (playing up the cute, insecure angle) doesn't mean Hitch has to follow suit !!!

I think the writer really dropped the ball when it came to resolving Hitch’s side of the story and he could have taken a leaf out of Nick Hornby or any Working Title Productions past output to come up with a better ending.

As it is...Hitch is an enjoyable, educational rom-com that ALL MEN should seriously have in their personal DVD collection if only to watch the first 2/3rd of the movie and LEARN from a ‘natural’ in action.

Leave out the last 1/3rd however because it is the typical Hollywood formula which EMASCULATES men and teaches us that what women want are wusses with no balls whose existence is not complete without that One woman of their dreams.

P.S. Yes, as you can see, previous rocky relationships with women have left me as a cynical boxer-burning, woman hating, barbarically uncouth heathen who hates high powered, successful & controlling-women (!)

I know what I am....do you know WHO you ARE ??

Bring on the HATE then ladies!


;-p

Sunday, May 01, 2005

You R What U Eat

After having a camera phone for a few weeks, I notice that I've developed this disturbing behaviour of photographing most of the meals I have. (I know(!) deeply disturbing innit??!)

Here's some of the best meals I've had recently.....mmmmmm........

Uncle Lim's Kopi & Roti Posted by Hello

Uptown Chicken Chop Posted by Hello

Chilli's Southwestern Grilled Lamb Posted by Hello

Singapore Curry Laksa Posted by Hello